Who's going to start dating thread No57?

[akaWisey]

Or am I going to be 'one'

OWW

• are you sure he'll be driving and not drinking? Maybe if you want to encourage his inner casanova, if he has a glass of wine or two it'll help?

Is he divorced? Do you know anything about his relationship history?

Some people are just very slow, some are somewhat asexual. But hopefully he's just being very very polite..

'They assume I'm either a cheater, a wife beater or possibly in the closet'
Bant, that must get very depressing:( ...do you find that single men are judged more harshly?

I think people judge divorcees harshly in general. Especially the smug marrieds - who are probably, in some cases, miserable.

I think being single in a couples world is hard on every level. I have very few single friends, in fact :-( none right now! My kids are quite young and all my friends are still happy (and long may that continue).

I have a very good friend who always reminds me that you never truly know what goes on behind closes doors.

Keeps me sane.

Yes Bant, I think sadly that many of the smug married people are miserable.. Speaking to od'ers it's a familiar story of 'there was something missing' etc..

We could look at ourselves as liberated ? And crazily seeking to become the opposite... Hmmmm

Maybe I shouldn't have opened that bottle of beer in the garden just now am getting philosophical already!

Indeed.. I have loads of friends who basically feel put upon by their husbands as they do more than their fair share of childcare and household chores .. One husband now works away during the week and my friend is under nightly house arrest with the children while he is out socialising with colleagues ..They are all living vicariously through my adventures in dating lol ( not that I have had much success)

well done newstart!

Well I'm married - and I've never made those assumptions about any divorced bloke I've met (or woman for that matter). And what exactly is a smug married anyway? (Not sure I know any of those either).

Bant, would it be very rude to proposition you in the middle of this thread? I will have to take your word that you are not a cheater/wife-beater/closet gay/all three! Decent 30 something men seem to be a rarity... Meet you behind the bike sheds in half an hour?

rock - smugmarrieds are the ones who tilt their head to one side when they find out you're single and say 'oh, really? ah that's a shame. I've been with Rebecca for 15 years, we met while yachting in the seychelles. Oh you must meet my cousin Judy - she's single too, I'm sure you'd get on. Most people avoid her because of the smell but you must be desperate surely. Have I mentioned how happy we both are now we've found our soulmates?'.

You don't meet them unless you're single.

Actually, you do, it's just that they're not smug to you.

It's particularly amusing when Rebecca gets drunk and starts trying to drag me into the bedroom, saying she hadn't had anything in ages, instigating a hissed whispering row between the couple (that happened once to me, it was highly amusing)

bigstrong - sorry, No Dating On The Thread :)

Apparently I crossed posts with mercury -head tilt; ah, shame etc. Not just me then :)

sorry, winefiend, not mercury

not ever sure why being married is bandied round like its an "achievement"? no its not, its a fucking lifestyle choice mate. divorced also here, so what?

Winefiend that is a shame though, you poor, poor thing I've got this mate called Derek, he's a bit lonely as he'd been living with his mother and then she died....He could use some female company....

Oh rats ;)

lol at "Rebecca", Bant

Even crazier:

i have had situation where i was mates with lets say....guy A and woman B.

A has made a pass at me, but B is interested in him. i am not interested in guy A. Then B pursues A and they get together.

so now we have a "joint 3 way friends" situation. kinky, eh? well not in that way.

now it gets crazy. as B "knows" that i could have had her man, but just didn't want to. so now i have her being slightly hostile as she feels she was his second choice, plus i am not "validating" her choice.

and i get loads of OTT "we're SO HAPPY and we hope YOU'RE NOT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE OR LEFT OUT and WE'RE SO SORRY YOU'RE SINGLE" vibes.

not surprisingly enough, i drifted away from both those friendship situations!

ps this is a few years back, try and keep my life from being soap opera now!

Um, I'm just heading out to meet Mr Lovely. I think coffee may well be on the cards tonight

Thanks everyone! Bant he's definitely not asexual, there is flirting and a bit of an undercurrent there. I think he had a fairly long marriage, ended late last year and he moved up here in the new year to make a fresh start. Maybe he's just not used to dating/making a move having been out of the loop a while?

Lorna he'll be driving but we've had a glass of wine both times we've met before, all very friendly and chatty and mildly flirty, lots of looking into eyes and all that stuff. He is not shy. Maybe the place/time haven't been right - I don't think either of us are snog-in-the-naice-pub types, so that's left the car park. Hmm. What you say does make sense.

New so glad your date was good. Soooo you think I should just talk nineteen to the dozen then?

My friend says I need to flash my wrists - apparently that's a big come-on. Who'd have thought it?

Oh good luck Title you lucky thing

flashing your wrists? What? Really?

it'd look like someone was asking me to put them in cuffs. And I don't own any (yes I know my hedonism score goes down for that, sorry)

yeah OWW I'm quite medium/high on the PDA scale, but i have noticed a few guys i've dated are fairly self conscious, even in "quiet corners" about being watched/seen by passers by as they get physically close? its quite sweet in a way.

good luck title

lorna - sounds amusing

I also have married friends who are lovely, supportive without being smug, and are my best confidants. I love them dearly. I'm not bitter towards married people at all.

I just found the smugmarrieds are generally the same 'keep up with the joneses' types that used to buy a bigger lawnmower or barbecue when I'd just got one. Some people will find any excuse to feel superior.

Just remembering the amount of friends husbands who have come onto me because I'm single, makes you shudder doesn't it.

I'm quite good at leaning in for a kiss if I think it's needs a little push.

Really down in the dumps today, weather oop north has been rubbish and speaking to friends darn south with their barbies and music events isn't helping. I've been stuck in on my own today.

I've been trying to reconnect with single M/F friends today, hankering after having a night out, so hopefully something will come of it. LT wants to see me soon, I don't know why as I thought we had done the breakup talk . Maybe we need further closure.