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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who's going to start dating thread No57?

999 replies

akaWisey · 22/06/2013 20:16

Or am I going to be 'one'

OP posts:
KinNora · 26/06/2013 08:13

Have a lovely birthday Flipper x Wine and Flowers for you

Flipper924 · 26/06/2013 08:37

Thank you!

I'm going to celebrate by wrestling with dog while the vet tries to give him his annual vaccinations. Then I have to renew my car tax.

I'm living the highlife.

Flipper924 · 26/06/2013 08:38

But hey! Look! Pof hasn't updated my profile yet! I'm still only 42!

OhWesternWind · 26/06/2013 08:45

Happy birthday Flipper Flowers. Why isn't there a cake smiley on here?

JulietteMontague · 26/06/2013 09:02

Happy Birthday Flipper Flowers 42 and a 3/4 today Grin.

OWW good luck for tonight

Scrazy · 26/06/2013 10:52

Happy Birthday Flipper, go on treat yourself. OWW hope it goes well tonight.

Bant, I think you are being really nice too and I wholeheartedly agree about the LTB advice. So many times I look on the relationship board and some of the comments can be quite worrying. Obviously, there are situations that sound so terrible that I understand them. DV and abuse being the main ones. It also annoys me the way that the posters always say, oh you will meet someone in the future. Not everyone does and the damage not only from the problems but also from the pain of the breakup can lead to a lonely life.

Bant · 26/06/2013 12:05

Scrazy - I don't know if the woman is looking for a shoulder to cry on, or for a knight in shining armour to swoop in and take her away from the misery of a failing marriage.

I've told her very clearly I'm not going to get involved with her and that if the situation isn't past fixing then it's a lot less painful to do that than to break up a marriage - whether or not she has someone else involved, who in all likelihood could drop her like a kényes (hot potato) as soon as reality sets in.

She hasn't replied. I think she might be looking for the white knight.

Scrazy · 26/06/2013 12:21

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. It's human nature to try to find someone to make it all better but in reality, you are on your own in these situations.

lurkinglorna · 26/06/2013 13:57

Bant

sounds like you have managed it very well Smile

Reckon that's the trick with dating, to be open (to meeting new ones, to unexpected situations, even to get hurt a bit) but also to know when to ?put up boundaries? so you're not in uncomfortable situation.

I know one or two guys in my youth who were stable/prosperous types. They seemed to collect females who were allegedly ?friends? but basically just:

?oh i need X?, ?can i crash at your house/get a lift?, "oh my god i?m having ANOTHER crisis you have to come and talk to me right now?.

Which kind of put others off actually dating them?

think you could have given them a few lessons Wink, well hopefully they have wised up a bit now! Of course to be compassionate and protective is a good quality. But i also think women don?t respect a guy who is just "oh, i'll give up my own time and energy to help ANY female in a distressed situation, regardless of how well i know her". it comes across as weak and someone who will be open to manipulation?

don't need to be "if i'm not getting X, I'm not interested" ,but just have a sense of respect for your own time and needs.

lurkinglorna · 26/06/2013 13:58

happy birthday Flipper

morning text sounds good OWW

Snapespeare · 26/06/2013 14:58

very excited about OWWs date!

happy birthday flipper

bant i think you've been very clear, I really can't abide these 'waiting-for-a-white-knight' types.

I'm off to corfu tomorrow... did i mention? Grin

Scrazy · 26/06/2013 15:05

Snape Grin. Have a wonderful holiday, lucky you.

lurkinglorna · 26/06/2013 15:06

whoop whoop for corfu snape have a cocktail for me Smile

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 26/06/2013 15:11

Happy Birthday Flipper!

Fingers crossed for you OWW.

Have a great holiday Snape just one Envy

Another name change, it's getting like my dress addition

(dress addition 4 new dresses in the past week, displacement activity Hmm)

AWarmFuzzyFuture xx

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 26/06/2013 15:12

typos are back addiction

lurkinglorna · 26/06/2013 15:33

ha ha, @ AWarmFuzzyFuture love that "inter-date period of buying dresses for the dates i WILL have in the future"... Confused

kittymchotpress · 26/06/2013 15:39

a de lurk vote for bant's wise approach, bon voyage to snapespeare, good vibes for OWW's nite oot, and lorna's sage words. You have to come to terms with saving yourself don't you? cripes, I've come over all Buddhist Wink.

In my dating world Mr 5 great dates hasn't been in touch so I've just realised that it's just one of those things, who knows what's going on with him. It's nowt to do with me and probably better now than 10 dates in. might give it all a rest to regroup...and just enjoy all your adventures. thanks.

KinNora · 26/06/2013 15:45

Have a wonderful holiday Snape

OWW have a fabulous date with Alpha

Twinny ! I haven't bought any dresses for aaaaaaages, are they gorgeous ?
It's all BS until it actually happens, it's all BS until it actually happens - Talent Show has been sending me some very sweet messages this afternoon, ones that have made me moon around the supermarket like the bloody village idiot. I need a slap.

superdooperpenguin · 26/06/2013 16:24

Good afternoon All!

Snape - happy holidays, have a great time!

OWW - have fun tonight!

WarmFuzzy - tell me about your dresses, I am something of a shopaholic! I saw a gorgeous dress and 2 cute skirts today that I fell in love with - can't afford them so obviously I bought them Blush

I am waiting to hear back from my lovely man if he can see me this weekend or not - apparently his parents have decided to visit so he's trying to convince them he's busy this Sat. One of his friends is having a 40th b'day party this Sat eve so if he does manage to get rid of the folks then he wants to take me to the party - eeek! I'd love to meet his friends, keep everything crossed for me that this comes off! It's a nightmare trying to see him, he works very hard and I am so restricted as to when I go out because of the DCs.

KinNora · 26/06/2013 16:47

Super that sounds very exciting, it's lovely to hear about someone else things are going well for, the fingers I haven't got crossed for OWW are now crossed for you.

superdooperpenguin · 26/06/2013 16:51

Kin - thank you! I'm afraid I'm investing way too much too early on here though Confused He's saying all the right things but the cynic in me is telling me to watch out...

JulietteMontague · 26/06/2013 16:54

Snape you're going to have a wonderful time. A whole week with Namesless, and sun, and sea and good food and wine and Coffee Grin

Bant good call and you left the door open so you never know...

KinNora · 26/06/2013 17:02

Ah but it's hard not to invest too early, especially if he says all the right things - I don't think many people really, in their heart of hearts, want to be cynical about others.

Hello Jules, hope you're having a spiffing day ( I had Common Tuesday, now I'm going for Wodehouse Wednesday )

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 26/06/2013 17:12

Dress talk:

cheap as chips

will be in this at weekend

not so cheap

came up too big but CBA to send back

Hey Twinny village idiot made me laugh. Are your knickers aflame? Is you fanny leaping? Wink

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 26/06/2013 17:14

Of course I never lower the tone on here do I Hmm?

your