Who's going to start dating thread No57?

[akaWisey]

Or am I going to be 'one'

Bant - an average of 2 per month dates, then. And how many women did you message?

Oooh oooh breaking news.

I went to a pub quiz here last Thursday, and went on from there with a friend of mine (american girl) to a bar round the corner where I got chatting to a couple of local girls.

I admit I had had several beers, but I was very taken with the one I was chatting to. My wingman, the american, supported me admirably by talking to her friend.

Anyway, the two hungarishes decided to move on to another place after chatting to us for 2 hours and I called it a night because it was stupidly late - but I gave the Lawyer my card in the vain hope she might mail me.

She just did. Gave me her email address and phone number, and said if I'm planning on doing this barbecue I'd mentioned doing then 'they' would be happy to join (she said 'we' - her and her friend)

Now I hadn't expected to hear from her again, Hungarian women don't make the first move. Would it make sense for me to reply and say the BBQ isn't going to be for a few weeks but in the meantime would she like to go for a drink with me?

All she can say is 'ermm. no. you freak.' - right?

Felicity

13,412

Is that all? :)

I'm about the same as you Bant - eighteen first dates once I've had the one tomorrow. So out of those I've had one go to a second date after which he disappeared, LM who I saw for seven months or so, Indie who I saw for five dates or so, the Weekend Builder who I saw for a couple of weeks and second date with Alpha this week. I've been aiming for around a date a week when I've been looking.

Have never asked someone for a second or third date (or a first date, come to that) . . . There were a couple early on that I would have liked to see again but didn't asked, but since I am the new improved post-LM don't-give-a-shit OWW I have been the one doing the turning away. Interesting, that. I hope that now I might like someone a bit this run of luck doesn't desert me.

All very quiet from College Bloke since Saturday which is unusual as he has been in contact once a day without fail. He has also been spotted online, which is also unusual . . . So I am not at all sure if we are on for tomorrow. Ho hum. Not really bothered that much

Bant yeah, go for it.

I agree with OWW. Do it, Bant.

Bant yes, of course

Felicity I've been doing it a long time. I was looking for someone I considered my equal intellectually, with a sense of humour who I could get along with who was close to my age and fun. That put my age was against me as these men thought they should be with 30 year olds. To have any chance I gave it a go with men who came across well in their profiles and by mail. I didn't pay too much attention to the bad pictures, as many men over a certain age don't seem to either photograph well or know which picture to choose. If they had a sense of humour, were interesting and only up to ten five years younger I would give it a go.

Yep Felicity I'd second what Juliette says about the photographs (looking for men in their mid 40s/early 50s). I can honestly say that virtually none of the men I've met have looked like their photos, a couple to the extent that I am convinced that the pictures were actually of a different person. There have been a couple of instances of old pictures, but mainly they just look different - predictably, and sadly, they often look worse, but I have had a couple of very pleasant surprises.

If they seem interesting and decent I will usually go along to meet them. It's a nice evening out even if nothing comes of it, and if you don't go you will never know.

Does anyone know what the proportion is between men and women, and of various age ranges, on the OD websites?

Have to say, none of this is 'selling' online dating to me very much!

Re: photos. I guess I just find guys without hair unattractive and that seems to be 85% of the population of guys in their 30s, if POF is to be believed!

right I've mailed her.

I'm right, that was an invitation for me to ask her out, right? She mailed me from her work address and gave me her gmail and phone number. She's interested in a date, not just coming with her friend to a barbecue

Please someone tell me I'm not reading too much into this?

Please someone tell me I'm not reading too much into this?

As long as you're sure this person is 100% female, what's not to like ?

Bant whassup? Why the confidence crisis? Get those tail feathers up, man.

Flo - she looked female when I met her the other night. And Budapest isn't Bangkok.

OWW - not a crisis - but meeting someone in real life, realising they're very interesting and attractive and hoping they're into me is different to OD.

In OD I know I'm a (little) bit better than many of the guys you complain about, and I've come to not expect chemistry very often if I meet someone. When there is chemistry, it's suddenly more angst-inducing.
I don't know she's single.
I don't know she's looking to meet someone.
I presume she's not actually a man (thanks for that, Flo)

On a dating website I can assume the first two for women on there. With DoctorLovely (yes, vomit inducing I know but her surname sounds like it and she's a doctor) I can just hope so.

CheshireCat and the Translator I met in real life. One was just playing games I think, the other is still involved with the Dane who is seeing two other women (and is a student of the Seduction Coach)

Meeting interested, available, attractive, interesting women in real life is harder than OD. Generally I can pick two of the above.

Bant fish, right at you.

When I lived in Europia, men asked me out all the time. I mean ALL the time, some were nervous, some took their time, some came straight out with it. Sometimes I didn't know whether it was a date or not but it didn't matter,I thought nothing of it and just went with the flow. Women never asked men out in an obvious way. When I was in a relationship I was flattered, but politely declined most of the time. It didn't stop me chatting to them, meeting up general with or without other people. It was just how it was and I suspect it's like that now in Hungaria.

I don't think she'd have got in contact with you unless she was interested, Bant, and she was just testing the water with the group invitation thing so that she could back off with no loss of face in case you weren't interested. All sounds good here.

"...
Yes, it is a good idea to have a normal drink sometimes, actually, at the moment I can not tell you which day would be proper for me, I am having an extremely busy week, but we will find out, ok?

Will contact you later on, in case we go out somewhere OR which evening can we two have a drink.
..."

:)

he's 34, they're early 20s
when you are early 20's a man of 34 seems like a sophisticated man of the world and is probably still physically in good shape.
His ability to pull younger women will diminish as he gets older and looses his looks and the women he is chasing are not as naive & easy to impress

I agree with OWW bant she is into you!!

I had my lunch date today .. He is still lovely, smiley , touched my arm a couple of times , chatty .. Not my usual type as quite slim ( but muscley) and blond with a blond beard .. Unfortunately he is off on holiday on Friday for two weeks so seeing him on 13th July before I go off on holiday .. He paid for lunch as he hoped it would make me feel obliged to see him again

Yay Bant you're on a promise

To clarify, my earlier post was she probably expects you to ask and you have nothing to loose

mercury - that's probably true, but from what I've seen he's not trying to impress them, apart from with the fact that he's confident. He doesn't buy them drinks, he doesn't say how fantastic they are and how lucky he is to be speaking to them - although he also doesn't do 'negging' - which is saying you have nice hair, shame about the shoes, or something like that, which is one approach apparently.

I don't understand why it works but he doesn't seem to be trying to impress them in the same way I see other guys trying to do - and usually failing.

Bant I guess he's just a successful predator...and the things that make it work are subtle and instinctual with him?