Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

made a plan and getting out, please help me do it!

124 replies

takingalongwalk · 18/06/2013 19:44

I've made a plan to leave emotionally abusive husband. Have somewhere to stay and all the support I could ask for, but I'm terrified! Please could people tell me their success stories to motivate me to go through with this?

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 30/06/2013 20:50

check as much of the work to change has made a difference before you go back. I hope he does change.

IEM3 · 30/06/2013 20:59

Taking, I have to say I read your post dismay! You have been soooo brave to get out. I really worry this might go horribly wrong once you go back and he regains control. Think carefully and take your time. Please dont rush back. Can you get some counselling while you are at your friend's place? I think this would help.

Lweji · 30/06/2013 21:16

A word of warning.

Initially ex also was "utterly heartbroken and has accepted complete responsibility."

Then he reverted to twatdom.

In fact one time he did that as he crossed the threshold of our flat. Hmm

I highly recommend that you stick to separation, see how it goes and give him enough rope to hang himself.

If you go back so soon after separating, he'll think he can easily turn you around.

Lweji · 30/06/2013 21:17

Also, he will make it more difficult for you to leave because he'll know that you are capable of it.

Shlurpbop · 30/06/2013 21:26

Have just found and read this thread.

Am so sad for you that you are going back.

Your poor child. No child deserves to be raised in an environment where there is violence, unhappiness and fear.

I really hope you make the right decision.

foolonthehill · 30/06/2013 23:30

By the way...I think it was Lundy Bancroft who said that to demonstrate real change in someone who was abusive to their spouse/partner those changes would have to be visibly and demonstrably in place for 2 years post separation.

And here is his check list (sorry it is long)

Assessment of change: Bancroft And Silverman 2002

Assessment of change in an abusive partner and parent should draw on multiple sources of information (not just self-report), and include attention to the following issues at a minimum:
Has he made full disclosure of his history of physical and psychological abuse? A perpetrator must overcome denial and minimization. It is common for abusers to claim to have changed while simultaneously denying most of the history of abuse, and a sceptical view should be taken of such assertions.
Has he recognized that abusive behaviour is unacceptable? We find that some perpetrators who claim to have changed continue to justify their past violent or abusive behavior, usually through blaming the victim, thereby leaving an opening for using such justifications for future abuse. One indication of an abuser who may be making serious progress is his unqualified statements that his behaviour was wrong.
Has he recognized that abusive behaviour is a choice? Some perpetrators may acknowledge that abuse is wrong but make the excuse that they lost control, were intoxicated, or were in emotional distress. Acceptance of full responsibility is indispensable for change.
Does he show empathy for the effects of his actions on his partner and children? As evidence of change, a perpetrator should be able to identify in detail the destructive impact his abuse has had and demonstrate that he feels empathy for his victims , without shifting attention back to his own emotional injuries, grievances, or excuses.
Can he identify what his pattern of controlling behaviours and entitled attitudes has been? In order to change, a perpetrator has to see that his violence grows out of a surrounding context of abusive behaviours and attitudes and be able to name the specific forms of abuse he has relied on and the entitled beliefs that have driven those behaviours.
Has he replaced abuse with respectful behaviours and attitudes? A changing abuser responds respectfully to his (ex-)partner?s grievances, meets his responsibilities, and stops focusing exclusively on his own needs. He develops non-abusive attitudes, including accepting his (ex-)partner?s right to be angry and re-evaluating his distortedly negative view of her as a person. Attitudinal changes are important predictors of behavioural improvement in abusers
Is he willing to make amends in a meaningful way? We have observed that abusers who are making genuine change develop a sense of long-term indebtedness towards their victims. This sense includes feeling responsible to lay their own grievances aside because of the extent of injury that the abuse has caused.
Does he accept the consequences of his actions? Our clients who make substantial progress come to recognize that abusive behaviour rightly carries consequences with it, which may include the woman?s decision to end the relationship or the placement of restrictions on the abuser?s access to his children. On the other hand, continued anger or externalizing of responsibility regarding such consequences tends to portend a return to abusive behaviour.

Please don;t rush back. If he changes you can assess him from a separated position whilst you gain your strength.

you know it takes most people several attempts to leave an abusive relationship and nearly all of believed our partners when they came back crying that they would be different...it is what we want so much....but we still had to go in the end....and pity the poor people still trapped waiting to find the strength/opportunity to get out.

CharlotteCollinsismovingon · 01/07/2013 21:33

taking, you know how people here said that the time just before you leave is the most dangerous time? No-one mentioned it then, but actually, so is the time just after you leave.

He is intent on getting you back "where you belong." My H too seemed heartbroken and determined to change. It was quite enlightening how quickly he assumed he'd done the hard work and everything was fine again, once I took him back. I decided six weeks later that no real change was happening (thanks mainly to that list that fool posted), even though he still tells me now that he has changed and I should believe him rather than listening to people I don't even know on the internet (he has a vague sense that MN has been instrumental in all this!) - he still can't believe that I have my own mind and can make decisions for myself, but then I find that hard to believe myself sometimes!

And my H was nowhere near as controlling as yours sounds. There will be payback from him for leaving, if you go back. I had it - it was subtle but well-directed; yours might be dangerous. I worry for you if you go back. Leave it two years and then give him another chance if you still want to?

Jux · 01/07/2013 22:42

Taking, think how long the decision to get out took to make.
Think how long it took to actually go.

Take at least that long before you go back.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/07/2013 11:06

OP - with respect - you want your head examining.

It's been less than a week since you made the brave move to save yourself, your kids and get to a safe place. Less than a week. You say yourself that the last few days have been a 'rollercoaster' and being hurled around on a rollercoaster is not a good place for making sound decisions. When under great stress you'll go for any whacko option that gets your feet back on the ground. It's called 'panic', it's normal but it's not the time to be making big decisions.

Please give yourself a lot longer to enable some clear thinking. Also, do stop your ExH visiting for a while. Abuse doesn't stop just because you aren't under the same roof. Emotional abusers are determined, deceitful and resourceful. They sniff weakness and they go for the manipulative jugular.... 'utterly heartbroken' 'complete responsibility' and the other things they want to hear.

You need peace, calm and quiet to think through your next move. Not some dubious friend whispering in your ear and weakening your resolve. Hope you stay well and truly put.

gussiegrips · 02/07/2013 12:10

Well, if he's taking responsibility he'll accept there are consequences to his actions and that it's going to take a while for you to be confident that he really has changed.

These are just words he's saying. Let him show you through his actions. Anyone can say words.

Let him show you, and only once he's proved himself should you put yourself or your child back into a situation which previously frightened you.

Look at your thread - all posters were willing you on and encouraging you, and now, all posters are advising caution.

Don't turn your back on your marriage if there's the slightest sniff it could work. But, don't go back unless he does more than spin you a pretty line.

Those. Are. Just. Words.

hellsbellsmelons · 02/07/2013 12:13

But that's not going to stop me as yesterday made me realise he really IS going to hurt us soon.

I was really cheering you on.
Now I'm just soooo sad for you and mostly for your poor DD.
'People' like this do NOT change in a week. It takes years.
You rescued your daughter - do NOT take her back for more of this. It is not fair on her. She is your priority.
He's proved time and again that he cannot change.

I really do wish you all the best, but please believe all the previous posters who have been through the same thing - that this will not end well.

lollylaughs · 02/07/2013 12:37

Taking, he is going to use every trick in the book to get you back home, these include him saying anything you want to hear. Please rethink going back right now. Things DO NOT change in one week.

bigstrongmama · 02/07/2013 17:07

Just because he says he is going to change doesn't mean he is capable of changing. It makes it more confusing if he is genuinely sorry and genuinely wants to change, that is going to pull at your heartstrings. Only you know what you can live with.

takingalongwalk · 02/07/2013 19:37

It?s difficult to know how to respond to the comments about me going back, but don?t want to stop posting as you?ve all been so supportive. I am of course concerned that things will return to the way they were before, if so, that will be my indication that the problem isn?t solveable. But I really don?t think I?m going to know that unless I do go back. The people who have been supporting me here, and my friends and family, think it?s the right decision, so perhaps it makes more sense in RL, to people who know the situation in more detail than I?ve wanted to go into here. We will have a written agreement, and ongoing support, plus both our families watching us. Please pray that things go well.

OP posts:
CharlotteCollinsismovingon · 02/07/2013 20:16

I do hope things go well. I hope he is willing to put the hard work into long term change.

Does your written agreement address just specific problem behaviours of his, or does it also include work to address his root problem beliefs (I'm thinking abuser programme)? If he has been EA, that is because at some level he believes it to be ok, which is why people have cautioned against believing promises of instant change.

And how long are you staying out for? You said that you need to give yourself time to rest and recover a bit - recovery may take longer than you expect if this has been going on a while. Freedom Programme is very good (assuming you're in the UK) - have you enrolled on one?

Do keep posting if you feel it's helpful. :)

Jux · 02/07/2013 20:49

Yes, do keep posting. We do want to help you, which is why we've all said what we've said. As you say we don't know the full circumstances so maybe you're right, and in your case it's different.

May I urge you to stay where you are for the time being? I promise I won't say it again!

takingalongwalk · 02/07/2013 20:54

Charlotte, thanks, the agreement will address both aspects, he has agreed to give me complete freedom of movement (and even suggested I get a job Shock, to attend mediation sessions, and I'm also going to ask that he agrees to see the family doctor regarding possible depression. There are other things (which would out me), unqiue to our peculiar situation, which address the root problem.
I think I need some kind of assertiveness training. I appear on the outside to be a very assertive person, but often end up in situations (previously friendships and now my marriage) where I have let things I don't like continue for so long that it reaches crisis point.

I've heard of the freedom programme but I don't know much about it, I'll google it.

OP posts:
Jux · 02/07/2013 20:55

Actually (sorry, this really will be my last suggestion!), why don't you enrol on something like the Freedom Programme and tell him you'll re-evaluate your position when you've completed it? i'll shut up now Grin

Lweji · 02/07/2013 21:00

I do hope it goes well. :)

It is a good thing that you have your friends and family on the case, and he knows about it, although he could get worse in ways that you and your close ones will be initially aware of.
Stay alert.

CharlotteCollinsismovingon · 02/07/2013 21:05

Ok, just a word of warning, then: the great Lundy Bancroft says something along these lines:

If an alcoholic abuser gets treatment for his alcoholism, the best outcome is that he'll be a sober abuser.
If a depressed abuser gets treatment for his depression, the best outcome is that he'll be a happy abuser.
If an abuser goes to counselling, he'll most likely become a confident, well-adjusted abuser.

Since your H has been stuck in an EA pattern of behaviour, he needs to face up to that (alongside whatever other unique issues you also see) and get help for that by attending an abusers programme (he should find one accredited by Respect).

Actually, you'd be amazed how many of us excuse our H's abusiveness by unique circumstances. :( I'm trying not to downplay yours; they may well be very unusual - but could they still be used as an excuse to avoid facing up to the choices he has made to behave abusively?

CharlotteCollinsismovingon · 02/07/2013 21:06

Hmm... that's a rather loose interpretation of a "word" of warning - sorry! :o

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/07/2013 08:54

"I think I need some kind of assertiveness training."

In a healthy relationship where there is mutual respect and consideration, you don't have to be assertive. You're still allowing him to blame you for all this, letting him feed your insecurities and then compounding it by reproaching yourself for not being assertive enough.

When you're a prisoner locked in a cell it is unhelpful to blame yourself for not having a more free attitude of mind. It is more constructive to get out of the cell and never look back

The Freedom Programme would demonstrate to you exactly why you need to stay where you are, create a large amount of distance between you and your ex, and allow yourself to normalise and be the person you already are. Not the person he manipulates and coerces you into being.

TeeBee · 03/07/2013 09:37

I'm am actually worried for your safety now OP. Now he knows you are prepared to leave and your preferred avenue. IF you have to leave again, it's going to be more difficult. You have put yourself and your children in a vulnerable position.

foolonthehill · 03/07/2013 13:23

If you stay out he can still change and you are safe in the meantime...he won't make it so easy for you to leave a second time. It took my DSil 6 years to leave the first time....the next she was running for her life and it was 16 years later....you don;t want to know about the years in between.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page