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Original poster

IS HE TELLING ME THE TRUTH?

90 replies

caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:31

hi all
i having some problems with my partner i feel he doesnt always tell me the truth i wanted to know our eldest daugher was on laptop and said to me there were dirty things down loaded i confronted him he says they down load themselves when u go 2 certain sites i not great on pc but it he telling me porkies could someone give me advice please

OP posts:
TheMammy · 29/05/2006 10:37

Well, you could install a fire wall that doesn't let things from porn sites download..and I have to say I have been using my pc for years now and never has something downloaded without me clicking ok

suzywong · 29/05/2006 10:39

Pies

TheMammy is right,

Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:40

He is quite a whizz on a pc i my daughter say there were about 60 of them i am totally cheese off i saw a message on his fone could be harmless but was in different language so didnt understand it i feel as if i the one with the problem because i dont trust him i have three kids to him and just bought a new house sometimes i feel sometime things dont add up

OP posts:
suzywong · 29/05/2006 10:42

well regardless of whether or not you believe how things came to be downloaded, is porn such a big taboo that it makes you questiong the future of your relationship? Most men consume porn in some form with no ill effects

Carmenere · 29/05/2006 10:42

Good point TheMammy, I was about to say 'oh yes some invidious porn software can make porn automatically download onto your pc' until I read your post and realised in the seven years I've been using my pc it has never happened to me either!! So I would say he's fibbing.

Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:46

this is what i want to know said to him last night well if ur downloading porn why lie? maybe not a big thing but the lies of it and other things to

OP posts:
suzywong · 29/05/2006 10:49

Hmmmm I see why it is bothering you Caroline18. He's probably embarrassed about it

Upsadaisy · 29/05/2006 10:54

Must tell you my experience...last year I would turn on the pc and the first thing that would come on would be a very blu movie clip and this kept reoccuring. My dh had said whilst yes he'd look at a site he had not done so again due to the download clips.
We had many arguments about it..he denied it all each time saying the same as your its downloading itself. I didn't beleive him and he was upset at me for not trusting him...it was a mess. Finally spoke to friends and was amazed when two had said the same had happened to them and that it was a virus.
I took the computer in to be fixed to which they confirmed a type of virus and cleared it.
I was mortified

Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:54

Carmenere does he have something to hide? I have thought for a while he had been seeing someone else but could not find the evidence

OP posts:
Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:54

Carmenere does he have something to hide? I have thought for a while he had been seeing someone else but could not find the evidence

OP posts:
Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:55

Carmenere does he have something to hide? I have thought for a while he had been seeing someone else but could not find the evidence just a gut feeling what else is he hiding

OP posts:
Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:57

why have apassword on your pc said it was to keep daughter off it but never told me the password

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Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 10:58

alright maybe some downloaded but sixty on a brand new laptop would that add up just want the truth

OP posts:
nothercules · 29/05/2006 11:00

I have to say once that I got some sort of porn thing on my pc and I couldnt get rid of it from tools until I redid everything from scratch.

However, tbh whether he is looking at porn or not doesnt seem to be the issue here. It seems to be more about whether you trust him or not.

Agree with suzywong. If you have 3 kids and are in a commited relationship, him looking at a bit of porn isnt a threat to an otherwise happy, steady relationship.

nothercules · 29/05/2006 11:02

I reiterate what I said about the porn not being the problem here but whether you trust him or not. Nor can I see why him having a password you dont know being a problem. It wou.ld never occur to me to be concerned about what dh looks at on the pc. I just found out this morning he had an email account separate from the one I know about as he needed me to look something up.
It doesnt bother me and I dont for a moment suppose there is anything dodgy about it but I trust him implicitly and that means allowing him to have some privacy.

Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 11:04

nothercules
i dont go out that often but when i did i found he had text a girl on his fone never told me just had a gut feeling i went out twice last year yeh boring and the other time he joined a dating agency but told me it was to teach me a lesson i found out because he was on business away and he had to give me his password but i discover the dating agency and porn and he had written to some of the girls on what he would like to do so i just maybe mistrust him a little

OP posts:
nothercules · 29/05/2006 11:06

Then you obviously have far more issues in your relationship than him lying to you about porn. Does it make any difference if he actually did it or not or is about you dont trust him?

zippitippitoes · 29/05/2006 11:06

did you look at the history?

But it is really a question of trust rather than porn per se that is just the catalyst..though of course if it was a motocross site then you wouldn't have thought twice about it whether you knew or not.

Once suspicions enter into a relationship then it can only deteriorate so probably best to have a talk with him.

Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 11:07

i have lived with this person through up and downs him be an alcholic for 7 years of the relationship i stood by him and then to find out these other things well hurt beyond repair
i have been honest throughout the relationship maybe just to honest and clean for him

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Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 11:08

i stood by him because i loved him

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nothercules · 29/05/2006 11:09

It sounds like you both need to talk and lots of it.

nothercules · 29/05/2006 11:10

Is he still drinking?

Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 11:10

didnt go out much because of pubs only lately would have a drink in the house because i knew it was hard for him feel as if i have given hes taken and given nothing

OP posts:
Original poster
caroline18 · 29/05/2006 11:10

no he give up 7 years ago he been dry

OP posts:
nothercules · 29/05/2006 11:11

Sorry, do you mean he is still drinking?

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