if your husband sent this text to a colleague, what would you think?

[birdinatent]

The text was to the cook at work (female) and said, "thanks that chilli was almost as tasty as you x "
I think that is at best inappropriate and I asked him if there was something going on between them, he said, no he was just trying to be nice
am I going mad or what?

Hmm, I'd be a bit suspicious of that. If he was trying to be nice he wouldn't have added the second part or the kiss.

I think I would be livid. That's not being nice although I wouldn't think there was something going on but that there may be potential.

Inappropriate. Definite flirtation. Why is he texting her this, anyway? If someone wants to compliment the chef, this isn't the usual way

Why does he have her number?

why are you reading his texts?

That text is not a good sign in my book. Good luck OP.

No. That is not ok to send to someone who's not a partner.
I'm guessing he's not a full-time sleaze? If not, I'd be wondering why he's chosen to send it to this particular person.

depends on lots of things. Could be harmless banter. Maybe he fancies her. Maybe they're shagging behind the pizza oven. Can't tell.
On balance I think the first, with a tiny bit if the second.

I would be deeply suspicious. Calling another woman 'tasty', the kiss, the fact he's texting her at all.

That's flirting, not being nice.

Are you reading his texts because you don't trust him?

I wouldn't like it. It's totally inappropriate.

Presumably since the text must be entirely innocent he would have sent it to a male colleague as well?

I'd hope he slapped him across the face. I'd also be very surprised. DH can rebuild the operating system on an android phone, but he can't answer texts.

Oh dear the first thing that comes to my mind is what an embarassing wanker he is Why could he not just tell her that in person? Weird............

I'd think it was odd they were texting their appreciation of a work meal at all, even without the flirty comment. Surely you say "That was lovely, thanks!" on your way out of the canteen, if you were so moved?

Hang on, is the cook about seventy and he thinks this is how older women want to be complimented?
I really can't think of anyone who it'd be appropriate to send this to.
Bit more context?

That raises a few questions!

if they aren't in a flirtatious relationship, that's a risky text to send. With no 'background' it would be extremely inappropriate, so,he must have known it would be well received iykwim.

and although it might be normal to have colleagues on fb, exchaning texts seems a little bit more intimate. Did he ask for her number?

These days, with fb, I think asking for a colleague's number is more than it used to be.

Out and out flirting/the come on.
Deffo.

Definitely not just being nice - could you imagine yourself sending a similar text to a male colleague? I doubt it. I know I wouldn't! He's been a twat.

I'd think affair or cheesy bastard.

I have severe antennae twitch.......

If a married man that I worked with sent me that text I think I would find it creepy, unless there was some flirtation already going on. So if I were you I'd think there's some flirtation going on. But then there probably are work environments where that text would be harmless friendly banter. What's your husband's usual communication style?

I'd hit the fecking roof but then i'm not known for being the most level headed person under such circumstances!

I would be very angry if I saw that. Deeply inappropriate. Hope you get to the bottom of it, OP.