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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

if your husband sent this text to a colleague, what would you think?

86 replies

birdinatent · 05/06/2013 19:16

The text was to the cook at work (female) and said, "thanks that chilli was almost as tasty as you x "
I think that is at best inappropriate and I asked him if there was something going on between them, he said, no he was just trying to be nice Hmm
am I going mad or what?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 06/06/2013 13:16

Depends entirely on the relationship between colleagues at his work place.
I have a friend at work who always chats in a flirty bantery way. His wife works there. He is exactly the same if she is there it not. It's just fun flirty banter with absolutely no intent at all. He is totally devoted to his wife

Hullygully · 06/06/2013 13:17

the cook?

he should leave the staff alone

cherhorowitz · 06/06/2013 13:17

I'd hit the roof.

Pancakeflipper · 06/06/2013 13:19

Cheesy and not apt if married.

LaRegina · 06/06/2013 13:25

I would think he'd gone slightly mad - and then I would go completely nuts!

But if you H is a bit of a flirt/cheesy type then it could be harmless. DH & I do have friends (that we both know) that we sometimes get a bit flirty with, but it's in a jokey silly way IYSIM. And it only happens on nights out when we're both there.

Sending a text like that is out of order IMO.

Snugglepiggy · 06/06/2013 15:06

Exactly Wylye.Imagine what her DP would make of it.When I challenged OW about the stuff she texted my DH - and yes probably not my wisest move to even talk to or acknowledge the woman in the first place - she came out with some pure garbage about it being just a bit of fun and that the text saying how much she would like to give him a blow job was a euphemism for ' see you tomorrow.A euphemism !Needless to say her DH didn't see it that way.
Think you've caught early stages of something developing here OP.

TheCrackFox · 06/06/2013 15:15

Maybe he is trying to get his lunch for free?

Jonsie41 · 07/09/2017 01:38

My husband replied to a co worker this ( please tell me if I'm going mad ). She said the carpet fitter is coming at 1pm hope that's ok husband says ooooh I wish I was so him she says he will be a little tied up husband says oh even better. Am I being paranoid I feel I'm going crazy!!!

oldlaundbooth · 07/09/2017 01:52

So he's basically saying she's fit.

toddlepip · 07/09/2017 01:54

Wtf?! Angry

LilyMcClellan · 07/09/2017 02:45

There's absolutely no reason for a married man to be making any kind of commentary on his colleague's "tastiness".

In fact, unless they already have some kind of flirtation going on that means she doesn't find being compared to a spicy dish offensive, he's opening himself up to a workplace harassment charge.

If I received that kind of text from a married male colleague, I'd be texting back, "I hope it gives you the runs. Don't text me again."

You should read your husband the riot act. "I was just trying to be nice" is right up there with "It was just a joke" in The Gaslighter's Handbook.

MistressDeeCee · 07/09/2017 02:58

Fucking liberties, is what I'd be thinking. If she didn't go nuts at getting that text from a married man I guess they're already flirting and its part of him making it clear he fancies her. Its not on. Massive disrespect to you

CluelessMummy · 07/09/2017 03:04

Ohhhh I'd be going apeshit if I'd read that and I am pretty laidback generally. Presumably if that's an accepted way of "being nice" he'd be OK with you sending that to a male colleague of yours?

Aquamarine1029 · 07/09/2017 03:12

He's just being "nice?!" Unless they are fucking, this is sexual harassment!

JWrecks · 07/09/2017 03:47

Incredibly inappropriate for a colleague, rage-inducingly not fucking on for a husband. IMO.

Abbylee · 07/09/2017 03:53

Inappropriate and a big tip off. I was with a cheating person, I KNEW when he was up to no good. 30 years with his "replacement" and still in love and lovedette back. Cheater told me that he was sad that I found a new love. For many years I fantasized about his stopping by to see my beautiful life without him. I guess nowadays, you have fb.

No flirting, no tasting and NO x's!

CurryInAHurry · 07/09/2017 04:10

Sexual harassment or flirting, depending on whether it is welcome or reciprocated.

deaddeadgood · 07/09/2017 04:18

Zombie zombie

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/09/2017 04:51

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE!!!!

Jonsie you should start a new thread in Relationships & I'm sure people will answer you.

Unfortunately here, people will just keep replying to the OP's problem from 4 years ago Wink.

punkpuffin · 07/09/2017 05:33

Argh Zombie thread!

MumBod · 07/09/2017 06:20

Haven't RTFT, but if I saw that on DP's phone, I'd shove the fucking thing up his arse.

Gorgosparta · 07/09/2017 06:26

The kiss would not bother me.

But 'almost as tasty as you' bloody would at best its a highly inappropriate joke. At worst its serious flirtation (or more) and obviously this is how he acts at work around her.

NannyRed · 07/09/2017 06:27

He is putting himself at risk of a sexual harresment charge if this cook so wants to report this text! Unless he knows it is going to be welcomed. I'd go mental at him. It's just not the done thing to flirt so blatantly.

BillBrysonsBeard · 07/09/2017 06:33

Not appropriate at all. 'Tasty as you' means he fancies her and is letting her know.

Mirrorballfrog · 07/09/2017 06:34

ZOMBIE THREAD

Guys this thread is four years old. Jonesie reanimated it asking a different question.

Jonesie. You need to start your own thread.