Have posted before about my relationship with DP. Have been together 14 yrs with 2DS 10 and 5.
Have been through alot of financial troubles over the years noy helped by DPs refusal to face reality and be aware of what is happening.
He works very hard and does not spend money on himself but has run up huge credit card bills in the past doing things for the family pretending we can afford them.
I gave up a well paid job when DS1 was 3 as I was desperately unhappy leaving him in full time childcare. This was after DP had been encouraging me to do so for several years and I has resisted as I knew it would be a financial struggle.
I got a small pt job and we downsized hut then DP was made redundant and took the first job that came along without discussing it which meant another huge pay drop.
More debt accrued but he would never look at bills or want to know about finances. He has never looked at bank statements and would hide unopened letters from bank. His favourite habit is to put his hand over the screen at cashpoint machines so he doesn't see the balance!
Then another redundancy and 6 months out of work maxing out credit cards to pay mortgage etc. But we always stuck ttogether and got through it.
Now he has been in a good job for 3 yrs and we are half way to paying of debt and able to have a few holidays and relax a bit.
We have always had a firey relationship but thats our personality.
Had a stupid argument last Monday which shamefully ended in me throwing my rings (like wedding) at him in the park and loosing them.
He was upset at the time as was I but we made huge effort to find them, me searching in dark and rain, buying metal detector etc.
Next day things weren't too bad but then over next 3 days he got more and more angry till on Thursday he refused to come on a planned family day out and then later told me that he was leaving.
Apparently all our financial problems are my fault, I've never loved him and he cant take my abuse any longer.
He can't even look at me without scowling. Says he is going to see a solicitor tom.
I am devastated. He says I've never supported him.
Although he supports us financialy and is very good with DSs he does absolutely nothing around the house. Literally. He hasn't even noticed that we've not had any cold running water downstairs for a month as tap broken.....
Today is first day we are all at home. Don't know what he's planning but he has told me a cannot be there when he is doing stuff with boys. He took them out yesterday but I think my heart will break if I have to spend another day without them.
I quess this is what I'm to expect now but I just can't do it.
Please help. Sorry for long post.