How often do you lose your temper

[bordellosboheme]

And throw things? After a hard day when I just wanted to relax (dp been out all day doing his hobbies) dp would not let me watch any of my programmes. After him being generally annoying I lost the plot, kicked a laundry basket and smashed a bottle of beer in the kitchen. It's not the first time I have chucked and broken stuff (usually some china, like a mug). Ds was fast asleep, but could it disturb him? Dp just makes me so annoyed sometimes I haut have an outpouring and lose it. Is this normal or not? What can I do? I feel like I'd be a total martyr if I just let him dominate. Help please. Feel guilty

By the way, have never had anger management issues in any other area such as work.... People tend to know me as a peaceful, amiable person.

Just remembering other things that precipitated it last night. My mum was abroad and had tried hard to get through to me, obviously. Do was saying 'it's for you, it's for you' before he even answered it.... I said please can you get it (I was making ds dinner at the time in the kitchen). He passively aggressively answered it and said 'it's your mummy' sarcastically in full earshot of my mother.... That was the start of me feeling wound up to be honest. After 4 hours of ds grizzlies while dp was at the pub and then him coming home and dominating the tv, whilst I'd struggled all day... Well I'd had enough to be honest. He's out again now..... I'm home along with ds again. Where to go from here........

Dp that should say, not do

All that over a tv. Get a second one and watch what you want in the bedroom fgs.

I'm not surprised you don't have anger issues at work as if you kicked and smashed things at work you would be sacked.

Btw when my mum screamed and.smashed things when I got old enough to not be intimidated anymore I smashed her stuff screamed and shouted back at her.

Hiya a1 it wasn't really about the tv, fundamentally, but his total inflexibility and lack of thought for my feelings.....

My brother is a.selfish git with the tv, a lot of.men.are. My SIL calls him.king of the remote.control as he.takes it.away and keeps it.with him all.the time.

My SIL does not smash their house up in.frustration even though my.brother is a.selfish git.

Re-read all your posts op,you habitually blame your dp.you're minimising/denying your actions
it's all he said,he did.a child would come out with that wasn't my fault.yea but no but
what are you going to do about your behaviour (other than he made you)

I bet your bro isn't mentally cruel and withholding of affection tho? Neglect can make you do odd things....

again,all about him.no contrition or reflection from you.
all he made you do it
poor you,not your fault

I noticed that Scottish mummy. He made me do it, he drives me to it.

Imagine if a man said that about his wife.

it's predominately 3rd person when attributing blame.not me/i

Yeah. But same meaning.

I agree.op has habitually referred to this as her dh problem
distancing herself from responsibility.

I regularly lose my temper, but have never thrown anything.

To be honest you sound as if you don't really like each other very much?

Why are you together? Do both of you a favour and leave the perhaps not altogether a bastard.

Ooh, this thread has moved on a bit...

DH and I are both pretty placid. We both get angry about things/other people but not with with each other. We're very similar/well mannered.

I did live with another BF for about four years who drove me to distraction. He wouldn't leave me alone and was always winding me up. I had plenty of slanging matches then and when I got tired with that I used to go to bed and hide under the duvet. It was truly awful!

I knew you'd get a pasting.

If you are unhappy in your relationship, if he is controlling and selfish, and if you are locked into an unhealthy dynamic with him, then you need to end the relationship. You sound (probably justifiably) angry and resentful towards him - do something constructive about it rather than chucking stuff around. Sooner or later your DS is going to pick up on that atmosphere between you.

If it's any consolation, I lose my temper quite frequently. Not as badly as I used to though (there have been plenty of instances of chucking stuff in the past). My current partner treats me with consideration and respect, and I therefore treat him in the same way. I still get volcanically angry sometimes though, and it takes massive effort not to erupt at the nearest person.

she's not getting a pasting as you call it.i observe op posts blame her dh
little contrition,minimal reflection about her behaviour
it is all her dp did this,he did that

I wonder crabby if you can bring any objectivity to this seeing you have volcanic temper too
the op isn't probably justifiable.at all.no.she lost control of herself,acted out
the relationship sounds dysfubnctioal,op cannot yet accept responsibility she's stuck on blame dp

I have no interest in arguing with you scottishmummy, sorry.

I'm not seeking an argument,there's been enough of that hoohaa
I just note given you admit you struggle to control your own temper,you're supporting op
for as long As op construct explanation of wasn't me,she'll never take responsibility

If someone insisted on controlling my television viewing, having been out all day doing his hobby whilst I looked after our child, I'd certainly be angry and resentful - that's why I said her feelings (note feelings not actions) were probably justified.

I then told her that her behaviour is not achieving anything positive...

If you are unhappy in your relationship, if he is controlling and selfish, and if you are locked into an unhealthy dynamic with him, then you need to end the relationship. You sound (probably justifiably) angry and resentful towards him - do something constructive about it rather than chucking stuff around. Sooner or later your DS is going to pick up on that atmosphere between you.

I told her about my temper because I think a lot of people who judge displays of temper so harshly simply don't get that angry, and therefore can't understand someone who does. I was empathising with her whilst still trying to convey that her behaviour is damaging and counter-productive. That seems to me to be more useful than just haranguing her.

she's not getting harangued
unless of course,this too becomes another external pressure someone ese at it
never her.aways an external other. some kind of haranguing

Controlling tv viewing?! Get a second one and watch it in the bedroom. Don't get mad and throw things!

Thanks for your insights. Crabby. I definitely have that red mist potential sometimes, almost a self defence against being treated like shite. However, I think it it's true that different ppl elicit different behaviours from you. Hence your current dh eliciting respectful behaviour from you.n

I have also realised there may be a hormonal component to this... I am much more likely to loose the plot in the post ovulation part of my cycle (sorry if tmi).