Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

Thank you all! Still randomly grinning to myself, and then frowning when I remind myself of what happened last time, but still the grin sneaks back I must look deranged

For OWW he's a strapping not so young man, who had knocked the same number of years off his age as I had, so I'm actually not nearly a decade older after all! He shares all my vices , is solvent and intelligent, probably takes himself a little too seriously, but give me time...!

He only contacted me on Wed morning on POF, had a couple of long conversations Thursday, Friday. Met Saturday, a day I usually work. But by coincidence, or is that fate, I'd booked a day off, forgotten I'd done it and was facing a wasted day, as I'd organised nothing! Turned into the best 24hrs in many a year!

Now I have to decide if I should offer this Wednesday or wait for him to arrange the next encounter! Hmmm

Is that option no3 Ike? You seem to be slowly and quietly building a male hareem over there!

Oh goodness, have just had proper amazing sex, absolutely brilliant. Bloody hellfire!! Am all of a daze. Oldest bloke I've been to bed with and it was fantastic.

He's coming to knock my fireplace down (not a euphemism) on Saturday, apparently ... We shall see, no idea if this will continue or not but that was just what I needed

Ok, Im going to forget him, v difficult. Im deleting his number again, and just going to focus on getting my head sorted. Its really put me off men!! or maybe Im allowing the wrong type of man into my life. Anyway, thank you all for the advise, maybe he is married or leads another life, who knows!! Thank you!!!

Yay for OWW you can join me in the day after the night before vacant grin stage!

What does everyone mean by asking Juliette "how many sleeps"?

Rafaella 'how many sleeps' is the number of nights until Juliette sees Dutchy again.

OWW I am taking my hat off to you, excellent work, here's your badge (Showbiz is 13 years older than me, he appears to know stuff )

Secret what excellent use of a day off.

Zaz I know it's shite and hurtful but don't let one knobber put you off men, there are some good ones out there, even if it doesn't feel that way now.

Wine I'm sure your lovely ex was very lovely, I've always thought going out with a physio would be particularly handy when you get a chest infection. The closest I got was one called Clive (yes, indeed) who wanted to have my 'babies', I wouldn't have wanted him to so much as hold my chips.

A bit of insomnia is always helpful, isn't it ? How I'm loving the prospect of getting up for work in an hour's time. Have a good day everyone.

Stricken by morning-after blues. Not sure it was such a good idea now. I knew I'd feel like this and I still did it. Bit fed up with myself.

Morning Nora hope you got a wee bit of sleep .. I didn't sleep well either .. It's a joy that it is Monday again and back to dull dreich weather

Are you all packed Juliette ??

OWW why do you have the blues??

Oh OWW don't be feeling unhappy, you did something that felt right, you're allowed to enjoy yourself.

Hello Kirsty , sorry you had a rough night too, any news from Rocky ? I slept a little, it's my own fault though - I'm a fricking halfwit.

Nope nothing Nora .. Maybe he fell down a ravine or something.. One of the many things going through my head last night .. Everything was great so I wonder if he's just getting a bit twitchy again ( he was worried that I am looking for some sort of commitment and he's not .. I have assured him before that I couldn't be less interested in ever living with someone again) .. I will text him to say happy birthday tomorrow if I haven't heard from him

Is he given to those kind of wobbles Kirsty ? Having suffered at the hands of an eternal wobbler, I have to say that I find it very wearing. I hope he gets his act together.

After our first weekend together he sent me a text saying he felt a bit twitchy and that he wasn't looking for commitment but he's been fine since ..

Really sorry you've not heard anything Kirsty. I just cannot be doing with that sort of behaviour, it's incredibly draining emotionally. Hope you hear something off him soon and with a proper explanation too.

I am going to think properly about why I have the blues, so this might be a bit disjointed and rambling. I think for me sex really goes hand-in-hand with emotional closeness, and of course this early on that just isn't there. Plus I still have the conditioning about "Nice girls don't" - I know they do, but I had it drummed in to me so often during my formative years that this kind of thing is bad and cheap behaviour that I find it difficult to shut that voice up altogether. Physically it was very, very good indeed but it is the whole other side of things that was missing - not my fault, not his fault but just too early in the day for that to be there. Feel a bit sad and empty about it all I think because it brings it home that I don't have anyone to get the emotional closeness from, rubs it in a bit having one without the other. I could manage much more happily with closeness without sex than the other way round. Hope that makes a bit of sense, it's the best I can do before nine o'clock!

Don't know what will happen now. He's texted to say thanks for last night and he will be round to fettle my fireplace . . .

No! Don't be down, OWW! You had fun, you're entitled to!

And yay! for Secret, too.

I had more drinks with Mr 3DD last night, met his kids (well, officially, I've met them in the street lots before), chatted lots about OD, and we agreed that being friends is best, though he did give me a kiss as I was leaving. He said he would definitely have asked me out if I didn't live on the corner of his street, which was nice and cheered me up. I can see a very drunken summer coming up!

OWW you had a good tie, you got fantastic sex and in addition your fireplace is going to be attended to. It's all good and as Kin says, you are allowed to enjoy yourself.

Stupidly, I decided now would be a good time to sell some disasters I've never worn clothes on ebay. All sold which was a shocker and now I''m furiously packing and posting before I leave.

Raf Dutchy is actually Dutch and lives in Holland, this will be our second date. The first one was a month ago, I went to visit him for a couple of days and it lasted a week

Winefield it's three sleeps!

Nora not packed a thing and fortunately Dutch likes the 'casual' look.

Kirsty that is very silly behaviour from Rocky. Even if he's got twitchy, that is no excuse for being rude.

ok I've realised that last post of mine was deranged. Ignore.

OWW you are a woman first and foremost, you can do anything you want to do. You also deserve to be happy in any way you want to.

Kirsty that's rubbish. Hope he gets his act together.

OWW- I am exactly the same and I hate it. I find it hard not to over invest emotionally after dtd (-and also have the nice girls don't thing) BUT if you both had fun then don't feel down. He doesn't sound like a player if he's coming to fettle your fireplace :0)

Juliette- this is all so romantic and exciting. I'm jealous!

I had date with someone yest. He was actually one of the first people I spoke to on POF a few months ago and we got I great but i turned him down as I didn't feel rest to date. He messaged me again 2 weeks ago as he been off the site a while and we arranged yesterday.

Had a really nice time. Can't get out if my head that he's not my type, but this far my type has served me badly. He's also only 5'10 which is shorter than if usually go for (I'm 5,7 so may cause a heel issue) but I'm desperately trying to remind myself that it REALLY doesn't matter. I'm ridiculous. I'm not going to get to involved with this one too soon though. Hot guy (hate calling him that now, but I guess I still would ) hurt me a bit . He wants to see me again but will leave it to him to arrange. Have 4 other offer for this week from guys I've spoken to but not sure who to prioritise.

Is it being rude though? I haven't texted him either ..? I am stressing that both of us will think that the other isn't interested and it will all fizzle out

Xposted with OWW. I'm the same with sex and emotions, which is why I couldn't handle a FWB arrangement, but I do like sex, so I tend to get intimate quite quickly. That always then leaves me feeling a bit weird, because the feelings haven't caught up, or I find that i'm more emotionally involved than I should be so early on.

Getting excited for you Juliette.

Kirsty, I've lost count of the times I've wrongly assumed that no news is bad news...I try to take the view that everything is good unless the other person tells me differently

I decided just to text him and ask how his weekend went .. He has just replied

Hey weekend was good ta. Have been thinking things through and would like to leave things as they are. This casual stuff does not sit right with me. No reflection on you cos you are lovely but more me. Don't want a relationship and don't want casual...now that's a fucked up place to be lol x

Ah we'll at least I know now

oh:(
thats rather a downer Kirsty
do you think he has been fair or has he messed you around?
It is of course better to know sooner because then you can start working on putting it behind you

Oh really sorry to hear that Kirsty, but at least he has been honest. What a shame, though. Hope you are alright.