Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

I prefer close to my own age. Mr R&R is 49 days older.

I like that we grew up in the same era. Currently watching the Tom Baker, Doctor Who, boxed set together. First time round we were both 10 years old

I thought I'd meet up with my date again to see if any chemistry developed.

We were originally going to meet next Thursday but brought it forward to this Tuesday. He also said he has his boys Fri-Sun with football practice on Sat mornings. I texted him and asked if he wanted to hang out next Thursday afternoon but he replied and said he has his youngest over after school and takes him to football practice and he then sleeps over on Thursdays but if there was another day I could do he would try and fix his diary around me. He doesn't work during the day, just a couple of hours in the late afternoon checking on his business, so there's nothing to 'fix' Previously he said he could do next Thursday, now he can't. He also said he has his boys Fri-Sat, now apparently he has one of them from Thursday onwards.

Is this his way of letting me down or is he trying to pull my strings?

title I am the same, having more than one guy on the go, even if it's just casual and very early days, doesn't sit right with me, however I am trying to change my view on that

That is hilarious Bant, fair dos.

Next time a bloke cant seem to remember a word I've said I'll know its cos I'm gawjus.......(yeah, right)

Poor ol beard he's not in a good place I think, I am entirely empathetic, happy to be a mate dunno if romance is a good idea at this time though.

Good morning All,

Thank you for your advice yesterday on ending things with nice guy. I spoke to him on the phone last night and he admitted he wants a relationship with me. I told him I'm not ready for a relationship (I am, just not with him!) and that he needs to find someone more suitable. Thought I'd been clear but he's been texting since saying how wonderful I am, aaargh! I'm out on a date with someone else tonight and I feel evil, like I'm two timing him! I may have to be a bit more blunt with nice guy so he gets the message but I hate the idea of being mean to someone so nice.

Title it takes some getting used to but I do think it's good to date a few men in the early days, it keeps your options open and stops you pinning your hopes on one person.

Bananas He sounds a bit flakey. I've been there before with a guy who would let me down at the last minute, it made it impossible to plan things properly and was hugely frustrating.

Not mean super it would be more mean to give him false hope. Enjoy you're date, there's nothing two timing about it.

As for 'my' guy. he went from really full on, very interested during the date, enthusiastic about making more plans when we said goodbye, to nothing much. He's flakey or a game player which makes it easy for me to walk away without wondering in my head before whether to forget it as there's no spark despite him seeming a nice guy or going on a few more dates to see if anything developed.

Title and Banana - it can seem a bit odd at first but I agree that having more than one on the go (whether or not you are actually seeing more than one at once) is a good thing as it helps keep things light and in proportion, and also if you meet someone and there is no spark, it's a lot less of a blow if there is someone else to meet up with the week after . . . Once I'm "dating" someone then I wouldn't be arranging stuff with someone else, but in the early days (chatting and first/second dates) then I think it's not only fine but a good idea.

And Banana I think I would just move on with this guy. Don't waste headspace on him.

Good stuff on having that conversation Super - sounds like you may have to be a bit blunter if he's not getting the message. How very awkward.

Ike I think Beard might well appreciate a friend at the mo . . .

Bant I think she must be reasonably confident to do the job she does. Maybe it's just the thing with feeling comfortable with you and as you get to know her she'll feel more relaxed and confident with you. If she is a bit shy/insecure then she is probably thinking you're not that interested in her as you didn't listen to/remember what she said when she talked to you last, and it will never cross her mind that this was because you were gazing at her in awe at her stunning beauty, honestly it won't. Give her a bit of time, maybe?

Snape everything crossed except legs obvs. When do you find out from ye olde takes forever recruitment process?

Nora no sophisticated woman of the world should be expected to have carnal relations on a vinyl banquette. Quite. Not even when it's covered in velour. . As for the other thing Lady Bracknell would have had the vapours. We are currently sitting outside with his lovely teen daughter who has come over to visit.

Bant you really have to go for it with French Girl. Nothing to loose as you've already declared your hand. She clearly still likes you, and wouldn't sleep with you if the spark wasn't still there.

(Waves of rest of thread)

Hmm
Just had a txt from the Italian saying that she's off on a first date with someone to tomorrow night. Said she wanted to be honest with me. My response was that I'm not really ok with that. If she's looking for someone new, that means she thinks there's someone better out there and I'm not prepared to be the fallback option.

Am I reasonable in that? I think so. Ok we haven't had the conversation about exclusivity but we're 4/5 dates in and this smacks of her holding out for something better.

Bugger. Oh well

bill maybe she's prompting the exclusivity chat?

juliette I found out about the job today actually.... It was a predictable no, but got very positive feedback, apparently I just need a couple of 'tweaks', so not all is lost. :)

Off to namelesses for the night for a different type of tweak.

Juliette - pretty much every time I've seen the French Girl I've told her how I felt - and it's never worked, she doesn't feel that way about me anymore, wants to be friends with the occasional benefits. Nowadays saying it just makes me look like a tit and it upsets her.

But.. Cheshire is on for a date on Tuesday when I'm back in hungaria, and has also said yes to my suggestion of a picnic on the island in the middle of the city at the weekend. Apparently she's never had a picnic. Ever.

So. Time to bring out the British big guns. Where can I find a gingham tablecloth?

Bill - sod - but as Snape says maybe she wants the exclusivity chat -you could reply saying you really like her (if you do) and you'd be okay with the idea of not lining up dates with anyone else (did you meet her OD?)

Or she could be a Sweet Trolley Victim - it happens to all of us.

At least she's being honest. Assuming she's being honest, that is.

Snape - sorry mate, but onwards and upwards

Snape bummer but the feedback is really promising - next time?

Bill I wouldn't tell someone else I was going on a date with someone else unless I had an ulterior motive - I think it is more than possible that she's hoping to galvanise you into moving your relationship on a step. But I could be wrong.

Bant you will have to do the full picnic thing. Proper hamper is a must - can you get hold of that kind of thing in Hungaria? Or take one over as your hand luggage??

There's a difference between saying 'someone has asked me out on a date and I'm not sure what to say...' and 'I am going out on a date'.

The first is, basically, where do we stand?. The second is... hmm. Tough one. But it's not 'We're through and I'm going to try and meet other people'..

I think the offer of exclusivity isn't a bad thing to do now, assuming you want that. It's a risk you take of losing face, but all good things are worth risk.

Snape, sorry about them job. I'm stuck in a dead end one with no where to go unless I seriously think about a massive move and would a few grand more be worth it, I'm not sure. (14 would be).

Bill, you will know what she means by her reaction. I might have mentioned other men interested in me to open up the exclusivity conversation but only if the other person was resisting iyswim. If he seemed straight up and I liked him, then I wouldn't be dating anyone else.

'the' not them, stupid fake nails!

To that bothered about the job tbh, felt a bit guilty, because I'd been so enthusiastic in the interview, that he possibly felt a bit bad about letting me down by not giving me the job, whereas I basically saw £-signs. Would have been mega-wonga compared to current job, but was only a 6 month position, so meh. Next time. Or the one after. We won't starve (thanks to the DLA award.) :)

Grrr Mr Policeman has cancelled AGAIN. Excuses are justifiable, he's had to go into work. I've sent his a message to say that I'm crap at working out if someone is interested. If he is then great, if not to just let me know and I won't message any more. Waiting for a reply (or not). At least I'll be able to reactivate my profile. Won't be deactivating it again in a hurry. Learn from experience. Been in contact with 'Sky Man'. He seems nice and we had a chat via Skype. Only problem is that he lives 2 hours away, is it even worth pursuing?

Juliette I was referring to T2710 and hot guy when I mentioned complicated. Ha, I'm asking if it's worth pursuing someone that's 2 hours away and you've got Dutchy!

OWW I've stepped back, don't even know if he likes me. Leaving it for him to do the chasing now. Shame as I get on well with him and find him attractive. Alpha Scot sounds exciting.

thingymibob I personally find tall men more attractive

Snape Sorry to hear about the job

Would anyone be willing to look at my profile and give me honest feedback :-(

Which site martini if you are on pof or okc then I can have a look if you like .. PM me your user name

Bill I think Italian girl is horrible for sending that message. Sorry to disagree with the others but I think there a million different ways to tell someone that you want to step the relationship up a gear but telling them that you are going on a date with another man isn't one of them!! If you like her then tell her but I think her actions stink!!

martini I'd be pissed with policeman. Do you want that from your relationship? This is meant to be the wooing phase! Loved your text to him though and hope you get the answer you want.

snape sorry about job but I love your attitude!!

Hello to everyone else. I have been ridiculously busy this week. work = hectic but I love it and had friends round every night this week so I am feeling very loved but also very tired!! Also had lots of attention on pof although I am putting very little effort in. Looking forward to the weekend and doing my garden. Not a euphemism I am just genuinely looking forward to sorting my garden!!

Martini I can in pof. Pm me

kirstywirsty Done and thanks x

Pome I am pissed. I don't mind if he is genuinely interested but if he's playing me then I'll move on. My garden needs sorting... both gardens!

Be brutal ladies!

Msg to Mr Policeman was via Whatsapp, at least I can see when it's been read (not yet!)

Pome Realised you said you can see in POF, Made my photos public