Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

Martini I am in Holland at the moment, Dutchy lives in farming country but for a few weeks is getting his boat overhauled at a specialist boat factory hence me currently staying in The Caravan on an industrial estate alongside a waterway . I do like Holland generally fly back on Monday night.

OWW that's very good news about your date, just the right amount of interest and he sounds promising. Alpha male and non alpha female is the way it's theoretically meant to work

My second night cooped up in The Caravan saw me us exchanging words about being confined here. When I woke up this morning Dutchy had gone and fetched me a rented bike that fits me so I went off into the local town today and had coffee and looked at the pictures in interiors magazines. I thnk I have just negotiated leaving tomorrow after work time, I hope so. I miss (his) home.

It doesn´t help that my phone is wine sodden and I'm feeling cut off. It did happen in of aid a good night though which involved the bbq, very loud 70's music, plenty of sex and general debauchery. The garden looked like a gatecrashed a teenage party the next morning with bottles, cans, broken glass and things in the firepit that shouldn't be. Somehow, I was so drunk I thought it would be sensible to shove my sodden phone into a packet of indonesian rice

Juliette hope the Escape from the Caravan is imminent and you can go back to more debauchery and loose living in the garden. I thought the rice thing was what you do with a soggy phone in a kind of CPR way, or is Indonesian rice different?

I've got mental images of juliette escaping on a pushbike a la steve mcqueen now..

OWW I think the idea is to put it in a sealed container with a few grains of rice...

Bant don't tempt me

Ok, wise ones, random texter been texting light hearted stuff both last night (after my meltdown) and again today but hasn't asked to see me again yet. WTF is he waiting for? Or am I being sexist again and should I ask him :)

Maisy how about asking if he's got anything planned for the weekend and see if that spurs him on?

Velvet been thinking about you. You too Nora - hope you're both okay.

Well the Alpha Scot is texting rather enthusiastically - have agreed to go out for dinner with him when he's back in the country. Also enjoying friendly banter with College Guy and quoting Carter USM lyrics at each other. All good fun. Might meet up with him for a curry next week but he does live a fair distance away so I don't know if it would be silly to start something that would be very difficult logistically.

And Tigsy - hope all is still good with Mr EA and all your plans are going smoothly. Not too much house stress I hope.

It's a surgeon on Dates tonight, seems pretty true to type so far.

Am very tempted by the sweet trolley, just you know to stack up some reserves. Oh dear.

oww Oh I'm pleased your date was good! Mr policeman is much better looking than his photos as I constantly keep telling my friends. Glad you're feeling a bit better and looking forward to hearing about the next date.

T2710 the only difference it's making its that my skin is very soft. That'll do for a start. Quit with the over analysing. I'm terrible for it and grateful for MN. Do you like hot guy? Why did you both decide to leave it?

Juliette that sounds like a fab night. How long have you known dutchy?

Well I've kinda accepted that Mr Policeman messages sporadically. He was off work this morning so lots of contact. The frustrating thing is that he'll just disappear all of a sudden mid chat. No bye or anything and then pop up hours later. I do firmly believe he's not married so it isn't that. He finally mentioned 'the kiss'. His words 'the way you kissed me. Wow! '. Whoop. That was the kind of effect I was going for. Now help me anslyse the next bit. His boys birthday yesterday so no contact from mid afternoon. I sent a message at bed asking how the party went. He sent a lovely photo of him and his son but no written reply. So??? Would he do that if he was just looking for sex? Is he testing to see how I'd react? His ex didn't have kids and didn't really like them. ..

I need to try something, though my stretch marks are a lot better than they were this time last year.

Glad to hear policeman has been in touch. He's prob just busy with other stuff when he disappears, at least he reappears!! The picture thing is an odd one, not sure why he didnt sent a text too :-s I think only a proper date will tell. Any mention of that?

Yes I really like him. He's the only guy I've liked so far.well, he called me to cancel our 5th date as he was stuck at work, he'd been logging into pof a lot (as had I in fairness) after saying he was only dating me. So I assumed he wasn't that into me and when he had hung up I text saying 'should we just leave this thing' he replied saying he had every intention if making the date. However he wasnt 100% sure we were right for each other and perhaps that was for the best. I said it was fine but was a bit gutted. Haha.
He liked my fb status the other day so I sent him a quick text and here we are. Which I have no idea about- not sure of he's interested it not. Guess ill have to see if he text me to see me

It's so flipping complicated! We've had one proper date and I'm meant to be meeting for a drink again tomorrow night. Hope he doesn't cancel.

5th date! Maybe he thought you weren't that interested in him. I'd text and ask if he wants to go for a drink to catch up?

T noooo to texting. He may not be dating anyone else but he has said he isn't sure you are right for each other which probably means he is looking and will date if someone responds.

Martini it's just starting out with the policeman, it doesn't sound complicated, it's just difficult to work out what is going on sometimes at the beginning of something. Sometimes when someone texts me a lot I just stop it as otherwise there is endless back and forth and if I'm watching tv busy I just don't reply. Having said that though, when it's right it tends to be easy.

I met Dutchy 6 weeks ago when I first came over to Holland. Before that we were chatting and Skyping for about 3 weeks.

Alittle good luck with the surgeon tonight, although you seem to have got the measure of him already so maybe he will need it

In breaking news, we are going home tonight, Yay! Which is just as well as it's rained all night and is now blowing a gale. Today I will mostly be sitting on the boat, reading.

Hello All

Apologies for my absence, I have been lurking and trying to keep up with this fast moving thread!

I need some advice please from you dating experts! Been seeing a guy from POF and he's really into me but I'm just not feeling it and want to end things with him. But he's a really sweet guy, he bought me a teapot last weekend! I'm simply not attracted to him, thought I was at first but it's worn off quickly. I've hardly seen or spoken to him over the last couple of weeks but it only makes him try harder!

How do I tell him nicely that I don't want to see him again? I dread the idea of having to hurt his feelings when he really doesn't deserve it! But the idea of having to kiss him again makes me cringe....

He wants to speak on the phone tonight - should I tell him then or wait until next week when I can see him face to face? I'd like to be a wimp and do it by text but I know I can't be that cruel.

Aaaaargh! I feel evil!

Super 'How do I tell him nicely that I don't want to see him again? '
it's a tricky one alright!

If the tables were turned how would you want to other person to tell you nicely that he doesn't want to see you again?

Morning all!

T - are you still on the site looking/messaging/arranging dates? Could be a good tactic so you are not thinking/depending too much on him texting back. I'm really sorry to rain on your parade, but if he was happy to break it off because he wasn't sure if you were right for each other, it doesn't sound too hopeful for a happy ending here.

Martini - the photo sounds fine. I wouldn't look for hidden meanings in everything as there probably aren't any. Remember the rules, might be a good idea to step back a little emotionally here. Even though he seems nice so far, it's very, very early days. But the signs are good and I hope you get to meet up tomorrow.

Juliette phew, glad you are out of Caravanville today.

Penguin aaargh so difficult. I really, really hate this. I think it's better to do it sooner rather than later, both for his sake and for yours as you'll feel awful if you have this hanging over you. Whether it's on the phone or in person I would say depends on how long you've been seeing each other/how close you had got, but doing it tonight on the phone would be my recommendation if you feel okay with that. I'd prepare something beforehand, though, with an "It's me not you" reason so he can walk away with his confidence more or less intact. Good luck.

Alpha Scot very keen - been looking at my profile at 7 am today! Ha. I am reasonably keen but less so than him, which is the way I like it. He is an attractive man though, looks and personality (and accent). Definite possibilities here . . .

OWW I really hope he wants a second date! We've been texting etc all week. The problem is that I think as a childless man he can be very spontaneous whereas I can't. So I suspect that our next date will be much like the first - a very last minute arrangement. I think if I do see him again I will have to spell out that whilst I like spontaneity etc, I have responsibilities which need organising!

There's also another guy I really like in RL who is suddenly a lot more interested in me. I wonder whether it's because of Mr Lovely - perhaps I'm giving off less available vibes meaning Mr RL suddenly wants me because I'm more unattainable? If that's the case, I'm not interested! I don't have the time or energy to play games!

Morning my lil chickadees! Update on not much....am supposed to meet with Mr Beard this Sun but he's gorn all quiet since I mentioned being bi curious as a youth and not wanting to be treated like a princess (he has doting old fashioned tendencies I think) also the poor bugger has discovered cysts on his brain so he may well have other concerns at the mo.

Mr Falmouth is great fun and amuses me greatly we have lots of banter and are a better match really. He wanted me to visit in the next fortnight and stay with him because his housemate is away. But dont really fancy that....also difficult to arrange with kids. However kids are away for 10 days in Aug and there is a lovely backpackers place locally so might pop down then...do you think that might be too much in advance?

Hello Ike!! Poor old Beard, think he is probably a bit floored by the health stuff. Think I might be tempted to get in touch and ask how he is, maybe. Mr Falmouth sounds great - August isn't far away at all so I don't see why you can't arrange something. You can always cancel if you change your mind later and it will be a nice break if nothing else.

Good to see you Ike. Cysts on the brain? I had no idea that was possible, the things you learn with OD. Yes, if it's serious he may be preoccupied. Mr Falmouth sounds good, I wouldn't book it just yet, you could be swept off your feet by someone else before then but definitely go for it. Is there anyway you can meet up with him before then, park the DC somewhere, meet half way for a couple of days maybe?

T I probably sounded a bit harsh in my previous post but OWW has said it so much better.

OWW ooh AlphaScot does sound vair keen indeed, good one.

Title if you like RL man then nothing wrong with seeing how that goes, it's more likely you are giving off Í'm fabulous and in demand'' vibes, we all respond to that

Thats the thing, who broke it off? Was it me or him? I know i may have initiated itm but my intention was to give him 'an out' if he wanted one, so to speak. Did he take this as in me not being interested, and to save face himseld he said he wasnt sure if we were right for each other?

Im not going to text him any more (at least really try not to) I left the ball in his court. He was the one that suggested dropping him a text if i was out so ive put that back onto him. This was the first excahange of texts since we stopped seeing each other a couple of weeks ago, and he initiated the flirty messages!

I really dont mind if hes on the site talking to others, as i was too (if they messaged me and seemed my type- i wasnt actively looking though). Weve both been on dates since each other I believe, neither with any success! Im still on the site, still chatting to others, going on dates etc, WHY am i only interested in teh one potentially not interested in me? Typical!

Hello lovely people, can I join you?

Been online dating on and off for last year, halfheartedly

At the beginning of this year I met up a few times with a nice local man very casually but he gave the spiel that he wasn't ready for a relationship but he recently told me he was dating someone, which was a blow

Am now chatting to two men. man1, local, looks nice but lists height as 5'5. Knowing that most men add inches, not sure if I could date someone that small. But that is so shallow

Man2 - I had a message on POF saying I would be perfect for his mate. The man sending message was stunning and very much my type. So I looked up man2: he is attractive, tall and muscular. He is also a different race to me. I have never dated outside my race, for no real reason other than not being asked. I think we are meeting friday

So, guess I'm asking, do you date outside of your race and would you date someone same height as you?

update from me (such as it is) text to C undelivered. Resent today, and I now have a delivery receipt and know he's received it (although it's highly likely he's not seen it yet given how infrequently he looks at his phone). So now to wait and hope for some, any response.

I am not optimistic though and ever more convinced that was my last chance, and I fucked it up somehow. Things look a bit bleak at the moment - with my history chances of me ever having a relationship have to be incredibly low.

Hi Title - well, I'm in the same position as you are (children requiring supervision when I am out - am forbidden to say babysitter as they are "too old") and I make it clear from the outset that I can't meet up the next day or whatever. When I get asked out, I usually ask them to give me a couple of possible days so that I can arrange a babysitter and then I get back to them. I've never had any problem with this and no-one has made it into an issue.

Hello Bob and good to see you here. With the height thing, I'd prefer a taller man but I wouldn't say no to someone around the same height as me. I've not come across the Date My Friend feature! I have dated outside my race in the past but where I live now there's not very much opportunity for that! So my answers to your questions would be yes and yes, but you really just need to do what works for you. No harm in meeting them and seeing if you like them/if there's a spark.

Velvet I can't see at all how you've messed things up. I think that C is incredibly uncommunicative and hard work, but that's not down to you at all. It's really, really not your last chance, Velvet, please don't think like that.

Well that was awkward. Just bumped into the guy I have been messaging. We both smiled, said hello bit of a chat, he complimented me on something and then left!! PAH!

Hi thingy. Bob sounds a bit masculine.

Don't assume we all lie about height. It's my pet hate that everyone assumes blokes do that. I don't. Likewise we shouldn't assume everyone takes off a couple of years too.

That said, nothing wrong with having a preference for someone taller.