Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

I'm with you Scrazy, I'd assumed it was a case of 'do you love me?' rather than 'I love you..do you love me?'

the answer 'maybe' I would hear as 'maybe I do, but I'm not going to say it until you say it first'

i would sooner dive headfirst into a swimming pool full of spiders than ever 'say it first' or ask anyone if they loved me. this tactic tends to result in no-one saying anything, but rather that than an awkward silence &;looking at shuffling feet.

love is more than three words. it is actions. although i would like to hear it, i dont need to hear it to be happy or progress the relationship.

Slightly at people debating I love yous already.

Further to the text/no text debacle - I texted him to say something about what I knew he'd be doing today. He replied straightaway saying thanks blah blah blah, see you next week.

Theres not really much I can reply to there, so I assume he doesn't necessarily want contact until we meet?

Oh Hrrm that's a bit pants. Guess he's not a texted then ...

Off out in a few minutes to meet the (hopefully nice) Scottish guy. This has been waiting so long to happen I just can't get excited or nervous. Whatever happens, it will be a nice night out. Can't find my handbag in all the builders mess here so will have to be like a bloke and stick everything in my pocket. Nothing lumpy so no make up, just cash and phone. Wish me luck!

Texter not texted! Damn you, phone.

Ooh, good luck!

scrazy I think 'maybe' means I'm not sure but I do quite like you and I want to see where this goes.
I don't think it's a bad sign, some people fall faster than others, some people are naturally cautious and some have been hurt before and want to take it slowly before they commit.

That's my twopennurth anyway.

well I met the guy for lunch today, he insisted on paying, then he took me to the pub for a couple of G&Ts and surprised me with some gifts,a bottle of expensive red wine he knew I liked, a small bunch of roses and some strawberries and cream to have with my kids as we'd been joking about strawberries and cream the other day.

So my verdict is, I don't think he's a creep, just a very open, talkative, nice guy. But there was no spark.

I didn't dress up, just t-shirt, jeans and a spot of makeup and I had my hair down which is unusual for me. I got looks and chatted up on the way to the date and my date showered me with compliments so at least today has done my ego the world of good ;)

At least you've done it squashed. It's nice to get your ego stroked and now you see why we all say the actual meeting is so important. Onwards and upwards in search of a spark.

Although cue a re-run of the debate about how realistic it is to expect a true spark on a first meeting...

Good luck OWW.

Banana, shame there was no spark when he was so attentive.

Oh well, I'm not sure I could cope with 'love' anyway.

Ha, I think I've just had my bubble burst re new potential. I contacted him because I didn't want to be sexist :) he responded with a comment but no question. I really thought he was keen but I think I've been naive again. My instincts are telling me he may not be single hence the very little contact. My god, I really wish I wasn't so intuitive. Damn, I suspect another one bites the bloody dust. :(

Going well!

I take that back. I'm being a crazy lady, not least because I'm on here probably talking to myself :)

That's good OWW :)

You're not crazy oopsadaisy :)

Thanks Miranda, no I'm not. He's definitely being distant with me. Oh well, onwards and upwards :)

Right am gonna try and do a massive catch up. This thread moves quickly. My update: contact really cooled down so I didn't send any more messages. Anyway tonight he sent one and the usual banter was back. Had a lovely video chat and he asked when we are meeting again. A pain as he does shifts, has his kids and I have mine with limited childcare options. So, date 2.5 is set for Friday. He's going to work after so no delayed excuses.

snapes I'm so pleased your meeting went well. All sounds very exciting.

T2710 I have issues about height. I think mine stems from an online date. He turned up and was really really short. I never even realised I had a thing for tall men. Mac sounds lovely. Go for it. My exDH didn't kiss me for the first couple of dates. He later told me he was nervous and didn't want to rush things.

Bill I would struggle with only meeting every 4 weeks but then I need a lot of contact.

velvet I think you did the right thing by texting. Not knowing drives me insane x

Heybeentrying Date 8! You are doing well.

oww I'm waiting to find out how you've got on

Hello to everyone else x

Daisy, I have the same bloody intuition!

Glad you're having a good time OWW!

Thanks martini. I really want to fancy mac but I just don't! He's a rally good looking guy but just not my type at all.

Hot guy replied to my text. I'm playing with fire here and I know it. But it gives me butterflies!

T2710 you can't make yourself fancy someone. Shame. Step away from hot guy!

I have a question. How long would you wait before DTD? I want to make sure as is possible that it's not all about sex. I've slept with one person in 10 years! Terrified! I now have stretch marks and a saggy tummy I know I'm attractive but think anyone will run a mile when they see me naked. I couldn't even get naked for exdh

I dtd on 3rd date with hot guy for first time in 7 years. Alcohol helped the inhibitions re saggy belly etc. it was fine!! On reflection is have maybe waited a couple more dates but don't regret it at all. If the guy is all about the sex it doesn't matter how long you wait IMO

martini how to put a man off? Tell him about your imperfections.
How to turn a man on? Show them to him.

I wait a while before DTD, lots of meetings, making sure I like them/can trust them, but that's just me.

I felt the same way too.
Glass of wine, deep breath, go for it.

I DTD on the third date with Mr Nice. I have stretch marks and a somewhat saggy tummy but he thinks I'm gorgeous (he is admittedly nicely mad). We only kissed near the end of the second date but planned a day in bed for the third one (was his birthday and his work always gave him the day off so we felt it was a good idea. It was :))

Martini I too have a thing for tall men. Stbx was 5'8" which is only 2" more than me. The fella I met on Sunday is 6'. It was lovely to kiss him, felt much more comfortable. Who knew that 4" could make such a difference?