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Original poster

Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

999 replies

lubeytoobooby · 31/05/2013 13:19

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

OP posts:
KinNora · 10/06/2013 17:05

I knew you'd understand Scrazy Smile and I'm glad you had a lovely holiday.

Hey thank you, I am, honest guv.

Kirstywirsty · 10/06/2013 17:19

velvet definitely better to know

Haha unhid my POF profile .. Kiltykilty messaged me .. General chit chat .. Asked if I had anyone on the go and then asked if I 'fancied one for old times sake' .. (I shagged him on two occasions just over a month ago Hmm) .. Who says romance is dead?? I told him he had his chance ..

Told the hunky joiner that I had an optician appointment and couldn't make it after all.. He was quite gracious

Snapespeare · 10/06/2013 17:31

velvet! Good. That's a very brave thing to do and we all know it's better to know that not. Fingers X'd for you.

oww [squeeze]

banana I think that's a bit of a red flag actually (sorry!) he's saying that you've 'got' to him before you've met in person? Hmm he seem's a bit too keen. Hope I'm wrong, but my past experience of OD (and me, me not being you..) is that the keen ones are a bit strange. Keep your antenna up.

raf not 'finishing'wouldn't necessarily bother me that much tbh. Sex is not all about who comes the most or hardest. As long as you're both enjoying yourselves, it shouldn't be a huge issue. :-)

Had fab day at work, where I got selected to be a dragons den dragon for an ideas piece, having been in new job for a week. Am now known as 'the dragon lady' Hmm just need to twirl tha around a bit to 'mother of dragons' and I'm quite chuffed.

Snapespeare · 10/06/2013 17:32

and [wave] to rest of thread. I'm off out to get wine food for an evening of reading game o thrones.

HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou · 10/06/2013 17:44

kin Smile

squashedbanana · 10/06/2013 17:51

I am still wavering, I don't know. He texted me back and was so sweet I put his earlier text where I thought he could be a weirdo down to him just being excited. I asked him with a wink how I have got to him and he told me and then said it sounds like I am almost too good to be true. He said he is nervous about saying something daft as he is prone to do when he has his head in the clouds which is where it is now.

We haven't met yet and I feel like he's either very sweet and like a teenager with a crush or he's a weirdo that's planning our wedding and naming our children already

Keeping an open mind till I meet him tomorrow

Bant · 10/06/2013 18:17

banana - is he new to OD? It's a very common thing to feel like you've met 'The One' when you haven't been on many dates yet. That's why a lot of us just cut to the chase and arrange to meet without lots of emailing and texting first. Texting and emailing allows you to build up a perfect image of someone, making them who you want them to be rather than the reality.

Then when you meet them, they pick their nose and eat it, and you're all disappointed.

It's not a red flag for him to be so enthusiastic if he's new (you just may be that perfect :) ) but if he's done lots of OD before, I'd be very cautious

squashedbanana · 10/06/2013 19:04

I don't know Bant, I shall ask him. I know that he has been on the site I met him on for 6 months but not clicked with anyone until he had met me and had just cancelled his subscription the day before he met me. He's been divorced 4 or 5 years and in that time had a two year relationship that he said went on for 2 years too long which ended when she wanted them to move in together but he realised she wasn't the one.

Thank you for helping me with this. I have had two abusive relationships which have left me very wary and I am now over cautious whereas before I was just blind to red flags

squashedbanana · 10/06/2013 19:06

Also, we only started talking a few days ago and hit it off immediately. We were going to meet next Thursday but I brought it forward to tomorrow to stop the huge build up that was going on in my head and is clearly going on in his head too

And of course I really am this perfect, I am just not used to other people realising it and realising it so quickly Grin

OhWesternWind · 10/06/2013 19:27

Oh Nora love - hope you're okay. I can understand the terrible attraction here, just be careful.

Banana - carry on proceeding with caution, just as you are doing. I think you're being very sensible here. I really hope he's as good in real life.

Kirsty that Kilty is a cheeky wee so and so. On to better things I think!

I love the image of you being a Dragon, Snape, in the very best sense.

Haven't replied to an earlier text yet off the weekend bloke. Would it be very cowardly to just not reply and see if he gets the hint, then if he texts again I'll tell him? I have a huge problem with this sort of thing, I know I do and I also know exactly why, but I still find it incredibly difficult.

Bant · 10/06/2013 19:41

Oww - my philosophy on that is 'what goes around comes around' - if I'm rude or dishonest or something, they'll act like that with someone else, who'll do it to someone else, and everyone ends up acting shittily. I'd just be honest

Bant · 10/06/2013 19:43

And kin I know exactly what you're going thru. My legendary Ex, the French girl, is coming out to stay at mine next month. I'd marry her tomorrow. But it's not, it seems, meant to be.

pornstarmartini · 10/06/2013 19:47

Still waiting to find out if I'm meeting Mr Policeman tonight. He's been delayed at work but don't know if he's just putting me off. I don't really want to message him or even know what I'd write. I'm sat here with hair and makeup done wearing slobby clothes. I've even paid the babysitter who is looking at me like I'm a nutter

squashedbanana · 10/06/2013 19:51

aarrggghhh every time I waiver back to thinking he's sweet and excitable rather than a weirdo he says something else that's questionable.

I asked him about his dating history in case he is new to OD which is causing him to be this way and he has replied with

"You're the first [date] in 3 yrs, how special do you feel!!"

Weirdo

squashedbanana · 10/06/2013 19:52

or Porn, it's not fair he is keeping you hanging on like this. If it were me I would be getting ready and going out either with or without him. Make the most of the babysitter now she's there and let him now that you are not willing to hang around waiting on him

OhWesternWind · 10/06/2013 19:59

Martini - that's really not on. Is there somewhere else you could go even if it's just to see a film you fancy? How very, very rude of him. If he's delayed at work, he should either be letting you know the situation or saying sorry and can he rearrange.

Banana it's difficult to weigh him up, but as soon as you see him you will know which one it is.

Bant you are right and I am just a yellow-bellied chicken-shit coward. Will get it sorted.

Snapespeare · 10/06/2013 20:01

Just remembered, nameless thanked GPs for child-sitting for a week so he could 'whisk me away' Blush

banana he might just be swept up in things and thats lovely, but it is a bit Hmm if you've only been chatting a few days (& you're right to go for a quick meet in case there's too much of an emotional investment ... Trouble is, I think he either has one already, or is telling you that he has in order to try to get into your pants and then disapp.)

Don't want to piss on your parade, but he seems a bit odd. Hmm

pornstarmartini · 10/06/2013 20:07

Thanks everyone :-( I sent 'How's it going?' His reply 'still at work :-(' so I asked 'do you think you're gonna get away any time soon?' And nothing. I know he's read the message. I don't wanna get arsey as he could be dealing with something really crap BUT some idea would be nice. It's half hour drive away and as time passes, the less likely it's gonna happen

pornstarmartini · 10/06/2013 20:08

banana it's so hard to tell as you don't know the tone he is using

mercury7 · 10/06/2013 20:13

I'd never leave someone hanging and hope they get the message, it's cruel and I find it very upsetting when it's done to me.

Also I think if a person has the potential to turn a bit 'funny' or stalker-ish treating them badly might sort of bring it on (?)
Obviously it's hard to dump someone face to face but when it can be done by text it's really pretty easy surely?

"You're the first [date] in 3 yrs, how special do you feel!!"

hmm, what is he trying to say? he's been flooded with offers and you're the first one he's accepted Hmm

pornstarmartini · 10/06/2013 20:15

I know! Don't get why he just doesn't say tonight isn't an option.

pornstarmartini · 10/06/2013 20:16

On a different note. Is there an android app where I can blur my friends face on an image? Want to add to my profile but don't think she'd appreciate it

squashedbanana · 10/06/2013 20:20

it could have been sarcasm.

Can't wait to meet him tomorrow and get these answers/doubts answered

go out Porn, he can always join you later on, but don't waste your evening waiting around for him

OhWesternWind · 10/06/2013 20:26

It's not easy for me Mercury. I find it really hard to do something that could upset a man (in particular) as this used to have very bad consequences with my ex, and I think over the years I was conditioned not to do anything to rock the boat. I am getting better but my instinctive reaction still is to avoid upset wherever possible. I know, it's crap.

pornstarmartini · 10/06/2013 20:27

I got a reply... In short: apology, still at work and probably will till at least 11. Said sometimes his job is crap xx. I said not to worry and I'd rather just know. Mentioned that another night would be nice if he wanted and I'm leaving it in his hands.

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