Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

banana I'm glad it's not just me that gets like that. Usually around day 14 and bam!

Well I think Mr. Policeman is going to do a disappearingact after the 'kiss'. Barely any contact today and no mention of tomorrow night. I'm leaving it with him.

martini - one of the most difficult things to get used to, if you can ever get used to it, when starting dating after a LTR - is - people are crap. People will seem just lovely and chatty and awesome and amazing and give you the butterflies in your stomach, and then they just disappear..

This is women too, incidentally.

It's nothing you've done, it's just that they're not in the right place and because they didn't meet you through mutual friends or something, there will be noone to tell them what a tosser they are for doing it - so they just block your number and never respond and move on with their lives.

It's not common, but it happens a fair bit. This is why we have the 'it's all bullshit till it happens' rule - we should probably change it to 'and still it can be bullshit for a while after'

but - in your case, one day of not texting is not the end of the world, get on with Real World stuff and see if he gets in touch.

do get vivid sexual dreams too Martini? I reckon I put the porn industry to shame last night! Thank goodness there were no plans to meet him today!

bant I've not pinned too much on it. If he's not interested then it would be his loss. I've been told that I'm attractive and I'm sure I'm a decent person. Onwards and upwards. We shall wait and see. Wish I'd not hidden my profile now. Don't really want to unhide till I'm sure he isn't interested.

banana I'm not that bad... yet. I am however about to reach my prime ;-)

hey I'm really glad when whatever I've said helps. Thank you for taking the time to name check me. [beam!]

juliette kids grandparents are exes mum and dad - I refer to them as 'the outlaws' rather than 'in laws' as we didn't marry :)

So, fully expecting nameless to cancel, he didn't. I picked him up from the station wearing my PJs, as I'd been dropping DS2 at his friends house, to pick up swimming gear which had been left there yesterday as someone pooed in the pool so they had to get out after ten minutes and got a rematch today. Took him home, met Ds1, who was all video-games aspergic, then eventually DD got back with the outlaws (granny actually high-fived me on her way out...) then DS2 turned up and said, 'I'm sorry, I'm usually a lot more friendly, but I'm really tired' ... Had dinner with DD and her Bf. Dd was devastatingly witty and charming...

Everyone loved each other. Two seperate children have asked when e's moving in.

It went really well. :-)

Brief pre-sleep post to say, Snape that is wonderful, I'm so happy for you.

Night everyone

Yay for snape!!!!!!!!

Snape fantastic glad it went well

Morning everyone .. I am looking for some advice .. I have changed my mind about meeting someone tomorrow night .. Although attractive he doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the box and I really don't think he is worth waiting 2 hours longer at work to meet him.. Last time i felt like this about someone I messaged them and just said 'I have changed my mind and I got quite a lot of abuse back.. Any help gratefully received

Posting in a rush of leaving the house but Snape I am so pleased it all went so well :)

Hello all! Hope all is well, it seems that way for most of us.

Snape sounds like it could t have gone better

Kirsty I think all you can really do is apologise but say you've changed your mind. They guy who gave the abuse clearly wasnt a very nice man (good call). It's better than standing them up/meeting them and wasting both your time.

I've had a second date with the guy from last sun, lets call him mac. He's lovely, very funny and attractive but not my ordinary type. He's also 5'10 which is odd for me as I'm 5'7 and he's the same height when I'm wearing moderately sized heels I'm trying to remind myself that the fact he's a tiny but shorter than my ex and doesn't have a degree Really just isn't important in the grand scheme of things. I've agreed to a third date as we get on well, I'm just hoping to get this crap out of my head. He also didnt try to kiss me or anything on last date. Is that odd?

Struggling to get 'hot guy'out my head from a few weeks ago, even though I know he was a bad egg. I just really fancied him and I think that's affecting how I feel about mac.

Yay! Snape that's brilliant. It sounds like everyone liked everyone lots and a high five from DG

T I dont beleive the degree matters a jot as long as he has the intelligence in some way, the two brightest men I ever dated didnt have degrees.

Dutchy is dragging me off to The Caravan today, it doesn´t have a shower. This will be interesting

t2710 I wouldn't assume that a date not trying a kiss means they don't fancy you. As a bloke there's a fine line to tread between making it clear you would like a kiss, and being too full on. Signals are hard to read sometimes so I've erred on the side of caution and not tried it. I think a slightly cautious and respectful approach indicates a nice bloke. Perhaps you should initiate the kiss (if you want to that is).

Not a lot for me to report. Moon girl bailed on our Thursday meet and is now away so we have one pencilled in for next thurs. I'm not holding my breath. Oddly though she did call me for the first time ever and we had a nice chat.

Diaries are conspiring against me and the Italian so it's looking like the next date is the 22nd. Pretty much 4 weeks since the last. I'm thinking this will be the same as with geeky girl, how can you build anything when you see each other once a month?

Snape so very pleased for you, life seems to be taking a real upturn for you

And you too Juliette, so very pleased that the second visit is going as well as the first.

Well, I have made up my mind not to see the weekend bloke again, just have to tell him now. I hate this bit so much, have been putting it off but I have to do it either today or tomorrow. Oh dear. He is a nice enough man but we don't have a lot in common, certainly not enough to build a relationship. Various things I don't particularly like about him (and probably him about me) so it's not really worth carrying on any more. Have made it all more complicated by going to bed with him so next time I am going to wait for much longer and then it's all more straightforward.

Feeling fed up though with yet another one not working out. I think I gave it a good try as I'm conscious I might be getting a bit sweet trolleyish or turning into a serial first dater, but those are really not things I want to be as I've just about had enough of being on my own and hoping every time that this man might be right and then finding out that he's not. I am starting to think that there is something up with me and that's why nothing works out.

Got a date arranged for tomorrow with one of my Match guys from ages ago, had this arranged for a while as he works away a lot. Not sure whether or not to go as I'm not feeling particularly chipper, but I think I probably will.

So, after another few days of continued silence, I've text C. I've asked if he intends to see me again, and explained how much I want to keep seeing him. And also that if he has changed his mind got a better offer that he please let me know, because it's not fair after all this time just to ignore me, and to let me just go on hoping to hear from him if he's made his mind up not to.

So now I wait for a response.

And I don't care if it makes me desperate, or if its the wrong thing to do.

Firstly men already think I'm easy (apparently) so what's one more fault? And secondly, unlike everyone else, I don't have lots of other offers of second and third dates to choose from, I have this or nothing. So if this can be salvaged, better that than another 4 years exactly as lonely as the last 4.

I just have to hope he replies now, I hope he will. Even if only to give me the answer I don't want to hear :(

The poster formerly known as...holds Velvets hand.

Holding your hand Velvet!

Todays text conversation with my date tomorrow has consisted of him telling me he's preparing and steadying himself for tomorrow. I laughed and asked him if it really takes him 24 hours to get ready and he said he needs to tidy his hair up and shave and the other 23.5 hours are for steadying. He said he's nervous but in a good way then after I replied he went on to say

"I've not got butterflies in my tummy more like albatrosses!! Hair's tidied, stubble trimmed, just need to shave and stop pacing around! You've got to me girl!! xxx"

He's a weirdo isn't he?

Velvet I don't blame you for texting him. Better to know.

Banana nah, not weird. Just likes you a lot already and nervous you won't like him.

I spent yesterday afternoon/evening with Oil Rigger. He's just sweet as can be. DTD...and here's the interesting thing. I knew he is diabetic, and apparently that can cause erectile dysfunction? He was quite embarrassed to get out his magic blue pill to take, which genuinely didn't bother me in the slightest. There was some trouble keeping things going in that department, but you know what? Despite that, it was the best I've had in ages. There was a huge connection, it didn't feel like "just sex". And I've never been with a man who wanted to please me more, or made such an effort to make me feel good.

I've never been with someone using Viagra before. I felt a bit strange that he never had an orgasm, but I'm wondering if that could be down to nerves and/or the pill? I don't really know what it does to men or how it works. He very, very clearly enjoyed himself. Just never finished. Thoughts?

Velvet I think that was the right text to send, you don't sound needy, but you are articulating your needs and that's a good thing!

Good luck Velvet. I hope it works out the way you want it, I really do.

Snape, sounds excellent, and I love that Granny high fived you, what could be a better endorsement of Namelesses loveliness

Yay Juliette, bulk buy of baby wipes needed?

Velvet, not at all needy, but actually very brave and taking control. I really hope you get the answer you want x

banana, I like that text

Sorry you feeling bit down OWW

Have just concluded date 8 with MrAttractive, all lovely, calm, stable and just what I needed

Hello everyone, please excuse any mistakes and people I don't manage to mention, work was a giant steaming bag of crap and I'm still coming round.

Velvet that was absolutely the right thing to do, you need to know where you stand so you can decide whether it's worth continuing with your emotional investment in him.

Bill I was hoping Moon Girl was about to get her act together. It's a shame about the Italian being only sporadically available, I do think it's possible to develop and maintain a relationship where you see each other once a month but it's not easy and takes a lot of effort.

OWW I'm sorry you're not feeling chipper, I think sometimes it just all hits you like that and it becomes harder to find a glimmer of hope in things, of course then occasionally, good things turn up out of the blue. There's nothing up with you, by the way, you're lovely.

Banana nooooooo, not all of them are weirdos, maybe he's just excited about seeing you and being open about it.

T2710 I would concentrate on the getting on so well bit, maybe like Bill says, he's a bit shy about initiating a kiss, nowt to stop you going for it if you feel like a snog.

Kirsty all you can do is say that you've had second thoughts, if he abuses you for it, block the fecker from here to next Christmas, I hope he doesn't give you a hard time though.

Rafaella that all sounds lovely, especially his interest in pleasing you. Sorry, I don't know enough about Viagra to be able to say if it makes male orgasm less likely but it sounds quite plausible to me.

Juliette I'm singing 'The Caravan of Love'. I'm glad you're having such a great time again.

Hello Twinny

And Ike and Rose and Flipper and Stranger and Tigsy and Voice and Scrazy and everyone else.

I'm supposed to be seeing Showbiz at the end of the month and hopefully seeing Talent Show over the summer.

I may also be exchanging daily emails with Spud. Cough. Yes, I know, yes it will all end up with me lying sobbing in a foetal ball every time anyone mentions anything Irish/offers me a sausage butty/I see Ian Paisley, yes he is still a self-pitying hypochondriac knobber, yes I'm a fuckwit. No mention of meeting up at all though and I have no intention of doing so.

Oh and Hey of course, what a bozo I am.

Seems like the perfect thing to do, Velvet - this way you can either make him step up and give you the attention you need or find someone who will.

And you can find someone, you're just unfortunately the counterbalance to those lucky people who find someone wonderful on their first date and wonder why everyone else complains about dating.. It's shitty luck, that's all it is, but it will balance out in the end

Oh Kin , please look after yourself before anything else

T2710, height and qualifications are irrelevant if you fancy him. A degree has very little to do with intelligence. I had some 'why no snogs' wobbles after date 2 with MrAttractive, but turns out he was just taking things slow and being respectful . MAc sounds good to me

Kin, hi, pleased someone remembered me. Back from a fab holiday, back at work now and all OK. Seeing current guy still, he genuinely seemed to miss me. Yes, you are a nut job for being in touch with Spud, but I understand exactly why .

Velvet, hope you get an answer soon.

Snape, all sounding great.

Waves to everyone else.