Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

[lubeytoobooby]

Woop! Lubes is BACK :o

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

Hey I'm sorry this has happened. There is no reason whatsoever to think it was something you did to 'turn his feelings to meh'. It could be anything, it doesn't even have to be something.

You did have a good time together, it will be difficult to see the positives now but it will pass. Meanwhile you are allowed to wallow a bit, cry lots and do whatever gets you through it (((hugs)))

Secret "Thanks, but no. Neither your cock nor your personality worked for me"

Snape Yay for holidays! you two are so sitting in an olive tree

I felt a bit and also a bit proud as I dropped DS off for his last exam and last ever school day. It only seems like a couple of years ago I took his photo as I walked him to his first day at school.

Two sleeps! Two!

Yay juliette

hey
Un-banty-like hugs from me too. Sorry about the bloke, don't feel like you did anything wrong, sometimes things just don't work, for whatever reason.

Humph. Translator cancelled due to tiredness. I met another mutual friend tonight though who told me she dumped the Dane. I think she has too much going on in life to focus on something new, or she's playing hard to get way too hard.

Either way, I'm not going to pursue, no matter how nice she was at the zoo. Cancelling two dates in a row just isn't on.

Tomorrow, a meal with CheshireCat. She just seems remarkably lovely.

And ridiculously goodlooking. If I wasn't so cynical, this is someone I could fall hard for.

Aww, so pleased for you and your boyfriend, Snape.

Enjoy CheshireCat, Bant. I have a good feeling about this.

Juliette, I'm up ridiculously late, so by the time you read this, it will be only one more sleep!

Hey, hugs. It always hurts like mad at this point, but it will get better.

Hi to everyone else, only skimmed the last couple of pages, so will have missed lots, sorry.

Hardly slept all night. Surprising how quickly I have got used to sharing a bed.

Damn it!

Hey I'm so sorry. Being personality twins I do so much get how you must be feeling. I would be in a lake of tears by now. Just hold onto the fact it's not you, and that it's (slightly) better to know now rather than after 3 or 6 months. I won't say anything about loads of better men out there etc because I never believe all that stuff when people tell me. But you won't always feel like this, your tears will dry and it will, somehow, get better :)

If its any consolation when I (inevitably) get dumped by C, I will cry for months weeks.

Not much to report from me. Haven't heard from C for a week (though this is not unusual), bit of flirtation going on with manager at the client firm I'm working for, somewhat inadvisable because he is old enough to be my dad, he is a client, and lots of other reasons, but it is making me smile (especially that he tells everyone how amazing I am, and tells me he never wants me to leave their office etc!). Oh, and the 23 year old (who has now finished his training and is a policeman) wants to show me his uniform and probably some other stuff besides but I am holding him at arms length because it's only sex and that's not what I want.

I have had a lightbulb moment in realising pretty much every bloke I dated, and liked (most of them) and then got rejected by after the first date (all of them) had Exs who don't work, and never had (not since DC anyway). Guess it may explain why they found me so difficult to cope with.

The only exception to that is C, whose most recent Ex had a better job than me.

Sorry the above is me. Namechanged to post something elsewhere (because I didn't want to be identified!!) And forgot to change back .

I really am a complete idiot. Sorry.

which I rudely forgot to do earlier.

More

I recognised you anyway velvet

I thought I'd posted on here last night - a long, warm thank you hug of a post, with lots if comisserations for Hey- but apparently not

I decided not to answer cock-for-brain, I was really tempted to use Bant's suggestion, with. Couple of expletives thrown in, but I suspect he would have 'I don't know why your angry, I didn't mean to upset you, just being honest' comeback, so would to have ignore at some point

Feeling much better today, going back over the Weekend's events, I've realised there was quite a lot wrong and odd. He was like two separate people: chatty, warm, witty, considerate until we got naked, when he quite quickly became the opposite of all those things. But reverted immediately. The bubbles in the park are probably the single most romantic thing I've ever done and I think I just wanted to wish the rest away.

Velvet have you seen C since he came back off holiday?

One sleep Juliette!!! How's your back holding up?

Morning everyone

ss Im glad you are feeling better. What he said was cruel and not worth a response. Condescending idiot, he thinks you would want him as a friend??? Do one matey. I think he will be back as well.

hey I'm sorry. It's horrible, especially when it's so unexpected. How are you today?

velvet I knew it was you as well. Great to 'see' you.

Have a good date bant and oww how are you?

I'm good in general peppered by emotional days and some wobbly days. Fireman and I are still plodding on. Thankfully we haven't talked about the future as I don't feel I can at the moment. We are very romantic together and see each other twice a week or so. I go through real stages of insecurity whereby I start thinking he wants to finish with me because I have a tendency to catastophize things somewhat. I tell him about my insecurities and he reassures me but then I start worrying that he can only take so much! Please tell me to bang my head against a wall.

And juliette and others who are having a great time...brilliant xx

I thought everyone probably would recognise me anyway! I am useless at being incognito..!

scatty so pleased things are better for you. I don't think the fireman is going anywhere so try not to worry - though I can understand why you would. But honestly I think it will be ok and you've found a good one :)

secret sorry about that guy being such an arse. Good though you can now see a few things that were a bit 'off'. And no, not seen C since before his hols, which again is not that unusual. Might see him friday, but not getting my hopes up too much...

Hi Scatty - I think all sounds good with the fireman. It's been a fair while now hasn't it! Looks like you've found a good 'un and the other stuff is the anxiety talking, nothing to do with what he's really thinking. When you last posted, all the signs were good then so it looks like it's all going well. Really happy for you.

I recognised you too Velvet! Glad things are a feeling brighter, and hoping that C sorts out something to see you soon. Sounds like the lad wants to show you his truncheon . . .

Well, things here are okay. Feeling increasingly ambivalent about last weekend's man. He'd offered to come round and do some work on my house for me but I've texted him and said it's not convenient (in a nice way) and should we go out one night over the weekend instead. I think I want to see him again somewhere where we are not just going to end up in bed to see if there is/could be something there or not as I'm really not sure. Great sex by itself isn't enough and it's actually made me feel quite low.

The man I liked off Match who asked me for coffee and then disappeared has reappeared to say his subscription is up and here's his e-mail so I can keep in touch and go out some time. There is also one I really like but who lives too far away, nothing to be done there, and a couple of others that are possiblities including a nice-sounding ginger bloke who I am quite tempted by.

Worried I am getting the sweet trolley mentality here, though. Do you think I am, honestly, or am I just not wanting to settle for something that doesn't feel quite right? How do I know the difference especially in the early days?

Wish me luck

Bonne chance, mon ami! (Closest I can get to Hungarian). Loo update essential!

Ah, thanks for the hugs everyone on page 13! (too many to name check), it really does help, and I'm a bit touched :)

I'm feeling better today than yesterday, only 2 brief tearful moments, rather than the sob fest of yesterday. And I know that every day I will feel that little bit better, and then he will just become a story I tell. Still hurts though, and I miss him. Wish I had had more explanation, but I deleted his number as soon as it went wrong. I did send him a message on POF but he's not been back on since his pre-dump visit (that sounds wrong), so he's not seen it. It's just so hard sharing lots of really intimate, emotional time with someone and then just have it stopped with no reason. :( Oh, am feeling a bit shit again now!

Have been back on POF today, chatting rather manically with about 5 different people. Displacement activity, I know it's not particularly healthy, but is a distraction.

I can just feel that this incident with MrAttractive has stolen away yet another piece of my faith in 'relationships', and made me that little bit harder and more cynical. I almost feel like I just want to go out there and shag loads of randoms in some sort of revenge act, but who the hell would I be hurting other than myself?

Anyway, enough about me. Am chuffed that Dutchy is still going well Jules,

Very pleased to see you back on here personality twin Velve :) you clearly have a few well deserved admirers at the mo

Bant, hope Cheshire Cat goes well, she sounds lovely and much less hard work than the Translator. Oh, I thought of you and OWW during the highlight of my day, when I asked my 3 year old what music she wanted to listen to in the car. Was expecting 'Moshi Monsters' but got 'The Femmes, Blister in the Sun'. :)

OWW I totally get you about feeling sad about the sex thing, so sending hugs

Scatty hope things go ok with the fireman, don't want to be the voice of doom, but it sounds just like me and MrAttractive, and I am glad that I asked him if things were ok (which they weren't), otherwise I think we'd still be together, but heading for doom. Well done on not replying

secret, dignity in silence always best

thanks for the hugs flipper. Sorry if i've missed anyone.

Fuck me that's a giant post [shame] sorry!

well, sorry long time no post and now i'm afraid to say that it's over between me and Mr EA, 10 months later, 4 weeks before we are due to move in with each other, he has had a change of mind. We had a disagreement last night, he huffed off this morning and didn't come back to mine and when I called him told me he didn't want to move in with me. Totally shell shocked, now left with a house sale going through and needing to find somewhere for me, 2 kids and a dog to move to, and on day 3 of my new job....... life fucking stinks at times

Good luck Bant, loo update obvs.

OWW I don't think it's sweet trolley, the only thing I would say is that you threw yourself into OD right after LM, your default is kind of to do OD as a distraction maybe. Nothing wrong at all with checking out the trolley, maybe just pace yourself so that you give yourself a chance to recognise a great flavour when it hits you

Hey just a couple of teary moments today is very good going! It will pass, don't let it put you off relationships. If it's not good, you don't do it so by that logic although it may take a while, you will have a good relationship

One sleep! I should be packing, instead I'm on here. Have just caved and decided to pay to shove luggage in the the hold thus not having to make any more packing decisions. It's the shoes... . Wedge heels, flats, converse, flipflopy sandals plus trainers. Totes reasonable imo. It will scare Dutchy though

God Tigsy, that is bloody awful, I am so sorry

All is reasonable wrt shoes Juliette

Oh Tigsy I'm so sorry, what a bombshell. Better to know now and all that but the timing is terrible. How dare he let it get this far before saying something. You've been through worse, you will survive and maybe once the shock wears off you may be able to think about what you'd like to do on your own terms. Meanwhile (((((hugs)))))

Tigsy am really sorry :(

Bloody hell Tigsy , that's awful, I'm so sorry. Life does stink to high heaven sometimes. Big hug, chuck. x

Tigsy, I'm so sorry. I was just thinking about you earlier this evening and wondering how you were getting on. You must be so shocked and so worried about what you're going to do. Is there any chance he might just have said that in the aftermath of the argument? Were things ok until yesterday as far as you knew?

Sending you big hugs.

Tigsy oh god I am so very, very sorry. What a nightmare for you. Sweetheart, how are you doing? Have you got someone to come round and just be with you and look after you a bit? You must just be just numb at the moment from such a bombshell but you know where I am if you want to talk.

Please keep posting on here - it brought me a lot of comfort to have the support of my lovely friends on here, you included, and I hope it will help you too.

Sending you lots of hugs and really heartfelt sympathy. Xxx