Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Upset about been brushed with the same brush, is it a mothers thing?

49 replies

EvenHotGirlsFart · 28/05/2013 15:23

Right, this my first thread. I just need some guidance and help. Maybe I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I'm really upset.
My parents in law like to treat all their 3 sons usually the same, fair enough, I can understand that, been a mother myself too.
We are going on a holiday to a Vila, and there's 4 bedrooms, but only 3 have on suite bathroom, all the family is going
So one of the bedroom is for the parents in law
The other is for the oldest son and his partner who have a small baby (9monthsold) , fair enough.
And I was thinking they were going to offer the last on suite bedroom for us , im married to his middle son with a 3years old Dgd.
But no they said to toss a coin to see who's going to get the last good bedroom.
His younger brother is not married doesnt have a child but he's taking his girlfriend and her son who's 9 years old to the holiday.
Now please help, I said to husband that's not fair I'm not one of her sons and I don't like to be brushed by the same brush like that, I'm over 30 with a small girl, not a child. He said I'm been unreasonable.
Am I really. Please put some sense on me then. Because I feel really upset.

OP posts:
Patchouli · 28/05/2013 15:25

Sorry, I don't get the 'brush' thing.

I can see why they went for the toss-a-coin if it's going to cause bad feeling.

seeker · 28/05/2013 15:27

So, let me get this clear- you think you should get a better bedroom because you're married????????

seeker · 28/05/2013 15:28

I think "brushed with the same brush" means being treated the same as the unmarried brother.........

GoodbyePorkPie · 28/05/2013 15:28

Is it really a big deal? Is the last room really awful or is it just that it doesn't have an en suite? Is there another bathroom you can use?

shiningcadence · 28/05/2013 15:28

Tossing the coin seems fair to me. I don't understand why you have more right to the en suite than the other brother? And I don't understand the brush thing. Sorry, I'm not being mean, I genuinely don't get it!

smokinaces · 28/05/2013 15:29

So youngest son has a family too? Only not his blood child? And youre pissed the grandparents aren't putting your dgd above this "ring in" child?

It's a bathroom. Yabu.

KatoPotato · 28/05/2013 15:30

You've still got a bedroom though just not en-suite?

KatoPotato · 28/05/2013 15:30

x-post

StrawColoured · 28/05/2013 15:30

Do you mean "tarred with the same brush"?

DiscoDonkey · 28/05/2013 15:30

Erm have no idea what the brushing thing is all about but I do think you are being unreasonable. Not sure why you think you have priority over someone else?

Who is paying for the holiday? Are you all paying an equal share?

thefirstmrsrochester · 28/05/2013 15:30

I don't get why the BILs marital state comes into it. They are a couple with a child just the same as you, your DH & child. Neither group trumps the other. Toss of a coin is fair.

AnythingNotEverything · 28/05/2013 15:30

I think you mean "tarred with the same brush".

It sounds like the only fair way is for everyone to draw straws.

Original poster
EvenHotGirlsFart · 28/05/2013 15:30

Ok then, appreciated the help

OP posts:
DiscoDonkey · 28/05/2013 15:31

Also if three bedrooms have ensuites surely that means you will have the main bathroom to yourself? You won't be without a bathroom will you?

KatoPotato · 28/05/2013 15:32

What's 'the mothers thing' ?

TallyGrenshall · 28/05/2013 15:33

The oldest couple are having one en-suite room, and a couple with the small baby are having another, leaving the 2 couples with older children to fight it out over the other en-suite.

A coin toss sounds a fair way of deciding it to me. It's nothing to do with who is married or not, or how much they think of you - it's being fair.

Or because you are married to one of their sons, do you want to be treated as special and more important than your BIL's girlfriend? Because they are not married?

TheRealFellatio · 28/05/2013 15:34

If thee bedrooms have en suite bathroom facilities then presumably the fourth bedroom gets exclusive use of the main family bathroom, which none of the others will need. I don't see the problem. Confused

Also do not understand the thread title AT ALL. Grin

TheRealFellatio · 28/05/2013 15:34

three, not thee

Original poster
EvenHotGirlsFart · 28/05/2013 15:35

Just the toss a coin thing felt all a bit childish

OP posts:
FobblyWoof · 28/05/2013 15:37

What tally said.

That's how I see it, but then maybe I'm confused from the original post.

Could you clarify OP?

Original poster
EvenHotGirlsFart · 28/05/2013 15:38

I'm sorry English is not my first language , but that's what strawcoulored said"tarred with the same brush"

OP posts:
shiningcadence · 28/05/2013 15:38

It's fair though.

shiningcadence · 28/05/2013 15:39

Sorry x post. Tossing a coin is a fair way to decide something like this IMO.

lottiegarbanzo · 28/05/2013 15:40

But expecting to be treated better because you are married and not 'just' a GF (who sounds pretty long term, if she's bringing her child) and feeling aggrieved about this isn't childish?

Patchouli · 28/05/2013 15:40

Oh I knew you meant tarred with...
I just still don't quite get it.
Unless it's as seeker says: you don't like to be treated the same as the other brother and his family.