(Anyfucker my feeling is certain posters are too cheap to call a sex line and share their pitifully mundane fantasies with someone actually paid to tolerate their nonsense, imaginary silk smalls and all. Sad, really.)
On topic:
No-one should feel bad because they have a lower sex drive/less adventurous tastes. And equally no-one should feel bad because they have a higher sex drive/more adventurous tastes.
Unless obtained in advance, or in a context of established trust, a sleeping person cannot consent. She did not want him to do this and she'd made that plain when he'd done such things before. He wasn't trying to awaken her for mutual, consensual sex, which is what (I profoundly hope 
) you're talking about; he was availing himself of her body for his own needs. What this man has repeatedly done constitutes a serious sexual offence in every nation with whose criminal law I am familiar. If you think sexual assaults aren't something people "should feel bad" for, you greatly disturb me. There is a gulf between desiring something and just taking it from someone without the least concern for their feeings or wishes, or even bare consent. He should be on the sex offender's register from what the OP has typed here, not in his victim's bed.
OP this thread has creeped me out more than any other on Mumsnet. Please, please at least call Women's Aid - number at the top of the thread - and have a chat about your feelings. This is not normal, and nor is casually telling you that "he knows it's wrong after checking Mumsnet". He sexually assaulted you, became angry when you complained, and then stalked you? The mention of MN is scary in this context, I'm sorry but I think it is. He seems to have no boundaries or basic respect at all.
I have to ask - do you think the relationship being modelled is one you would be happy for your own kids to repeat in their own future lives?