The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Posters, Lurkers, Old Or New, Come Take A Seat, This Bus Is For YOU!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A huge big welcome to the Brave Babes threads.

We're a varied group of posters, on this wonderfully supportive, non judgemental, gigantic Bus, and we are all heading in the same direction - towards Sobriety.

Some of us don't touch a drop of alcohol, some of us do. Some of us drink too much, openly admit it and are desperate to stop and some of us are trying to manage controlled drinking.

No matter what we're doing, we're just trying to do it One Day At A Time.

What ever you need, what ever your habit, chances are that there'll be another poster who is just like you or has been where you are now, already here, waiting to talk or just listen :)

Yes, some of us have been here for a longer time than others, some of us for just a few days but that's what makes this Bus so great imo, the variety of knowledge and understanding :)

This Bus has been whizzing along various roads now for almost four years thanks to the very desperate cry for help from THIS THREAD BY JWN

And if you'd like to read some of the other threads, maybe how we got to where we are today, then you can follow them back using the links RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon :)

Sorry to hear that, venus. I'm glad you're ok and glad all is well. Lots of love to you.

Venus so sorry to hear of your loss.

Day 18. Hopefully a sunny cheerful day for all. Xxx

Sorry to hear of your loss Venus.
Although expected still must open up a whole range of emotions.
Sending virtual love & strength xx

So sorry Venus. Hope you're okay.

So sorry for the loss of your mum venus. She was a lucky lady to have you for her daughter. Hope you and you family are okay and at peace with her passing. She is out of pain forever now. Love and strength x

Venus So sorry. My heartfelt good wishes to you and your family.

All babes old and new, Good Morning.

Also, I wanted to say that I don't think normal MN rules apply on the bus. We can gush about our fabs kids, give hugs and support where needed. We've all admitted our vulnerability and bare our souls on a regular basis. It's safe. With Mouse at the helm and all babes trying their best, how could it not be?

Completely agree Ladame.
I am stopping drinking alcohol (poison) completely.

I had been doing so well with not drinking and life was starting to feel better and I was starting to feel more optimistic about the future.

It was getting easier and easier not drinking alcohol, saying no, going to things and not drinking alcohol.

Then on the 4th May I had my leaving do from work which I knew I was going to drink at. Tried to have a couple of shandies which released the Wine Witch and the 'fuck it' thought and goy pretty pissed on white wine. Was really hungover which seemed to exacberate my chest infection and anxiety over new job.

Since then I have struggled with ww, drank a few last saturday with friends. Got invited to neighbours on Friday and thought I can do this, took smirnoff ices and mixed them up some more. Was still later than I would of liked to be and little boy woke early. Due to being so tired thought i could have hair of the dog on Saturday afternoon. Had smirnoff ice, then half a bottle of proseco and then had 3 of dh's cans because I wanted to keep drinking.

Had a really, really horrible day yesterday. Felt trapped in my mind in my house. Alcohol took away my positivity, my hope that the future will be better. Yesterday alcohol made me feel full of self-loathing, regret, anxiety, depressive thoughts. It made me feel so low,

I want to be happy, content, look forward to the future and I can see if I continue drinking, Alcohol will take this away from me.

I was a horrible mum to my little boy yesterday, his voice, his presence grated on my every nerve. It wasn't his fault, he is lively, energetic and demading but I can normally manage him but not when Alcohol is involved.

That is it for me, no more poisining my body, mind and life with Alcohol.

No more excuses...it's a leaving do, it's a party, it's a bbq. Done with poisining myself and the after effects of alcohol!

(sorry for rant but had to put this down )

Good for you Clutter!

I'm thinking of going on a general health kick, (I still haven't lost the baby weight!!!) so can use that to explain not drinking.

Does that sound plausible?

That definitely sounds plausible Riots. I'm sure many people do give up alcohol for this reason? If someone said to you they were having a night off because they were trying to lose weight would you disbelieve them? Or just go ok and carry on with your own night?
I find people just generally carry on with their own agenda & was you give a good excuse and show your sticking to it people move on x

I've lurked for a long time and really gained inspiration from you all. Today I've made the decision I need to quit drinking for good (Clutter's post really resonates). I'm caught in an endless cycle of being sober for a couple of months then relapsing big time. Yesterday I had about 15 units at a friend's and had to ask my ex to take DD (13) for the night because I was out of it. I rang 111 several times in desperation (don't know what I expected them to do) and told them I was scared for DD. Of course that set alarm bells ringing and they sent a doctor around but I wouldn't answer the door. I assured them she was safe with her dad but it'll be on my record now (and it's not the first time).

I've decided to take Antabuse for a year to get myself used to not drinking. It's worked in the past for me but I always stop taking it after 2-3 months and relapse. I'm very happy when I'm not drinking but as a binge drinker can simply not have one or two drinks - I nearly always drink until I pass out. I've dragged myself into work and feel utterly useless and am dreading seeing DD later - she's given me so many chances and I can see her telling me she's had enough. I'm a good mum apart from this one fatal flaw. I really have to stop this time, and stop kidding myself I can learn to drink moderately. Sorry for the long post, but like Clutter said, wanted to get it all down.

Welcome MrsMiniver and huge well done on posting and taking those first steps towards changing your life.
I'm sure your dd will be ok when he gets home. Children are pretty resilient and love us. I have been getting on so much better with my dd the weekends I have not been drinking.
You have recognised that the way you drink is not making you happy and have recognised that you can not control or moderate your drinking as you are in a slippery slope to getting really drink.
I have tried many, many times to moderate, cut down, controls drinking. One way or another it always ends up with me being hungover, miserable, full of regret and self-loathing. Why why why do this to yourself, it's like torturing yourself?!!
I don't know of you've read it big I read The Allen Carr, Easyway to stop drinking and found this book very useful in helping me to stop drinking x

Hi pm 66 do you mean the drug your GP has put you on is Mirtazapine? If so I have been on it since the end of March was on fluoxetine before that. I am getting on very well with it I take it for depression. I was a bit annoyed as I had lost about stone in weight calorie counting before I started on it then about three quarters of it went back on I did some research online and apparently that is very common but it is then meant to level out and I stuck to my healthy eating and have lost some of it again so I am going to persevere! You are not meant to drink on it! Surprise!!- I have also been trying the controlled drinking too and I stick to 3 evenings a week drinking but I moved house last year and got a new GP this January new GP has been treating me for high blood pressure and it is still not coming down much so I have to conclude that three nights - (heavy drinking) are still taking its toll on my body despite my feeling good that I manage to not drink four nights in seven it is still way over the weekly units a woman is supposed to stick to.

I note that you say you have tried aa - I went to 3 meetings all in different places earlier this year it was OK but at the time my depression was so bad that I felt I couldn't take it in properly now that I am feeling better on the mirtazapine I am going to give it another try and will try and get to a "come and go meeting" in Manchester this Friday!

I did do some research about mirtatzapine and alcohol together and someone posted to say "if it says on the box don't drink then what is so hard to understand - your mental health is too important to be mucked about with" which is true when you think of it.

All the best to you anyway I hope you start to feel better soon.

Venus I am am very sorry to hear about your Mum I have lost both my parents but both were very sudden deaths so my experience is rather different.

Anyway hi to you all you babes Mouse thanks for replying to my post about the Archbishop of Canterbury. You are a nice lady.

Well lovely sunny day here my Dh has gone fishing! He has the car so I will bus into Uppermill this afternoon to pick the kids up from school and then no doubt they will be badgering me to go to the park. Hope you all have good days and get out and enjoy this lovely weather we are having!

xxx

Thank you Clutter, it's good to know I'm not the only one who keeps trying to achieve something which is impossible. I wish you every success and will re-read Allen Carr (read it years ago but it didn't seem to "click"). I feel that I should be going to AA but having tried it several times before, I don't think it's for me. There seems to be a lot of pressure to do the Steps and a belief that it's the only way to achieve sobriety but the success rate is in fact very low. I know it works for some but surely there must be other ways.

Isinde thanks, maybe that approach to AA would work better for me as well, have certainly met some lovely people in the past.

chopin I've drunk when on mirtazapine, seroxat, prozac and various other drugs you're not supposed to mix.

When you're an alcoholic, a wishy-washy warning about side-effects isn't much of a deterrent unfortunately. (especially if you have anxiety issues, and TBH the possible effect of 'increased drowsiness' is seen as a good thing if you want to be knocked out )

For me, a much stronger incentive is needed not to mix: realising that alcohol actually increases my anxiety, making a definite decision to cut down for a whole host of other reasons...

If you are depressed rather than anxious though, that could be a potentially serious combination.

I'm very sorry about your Mum venus. Take care of yourself lovely.

Well after a crap week, I've had a weekend of drinking too much again and I'm sick of this now. I think I need to start posting here everyday, as I was doing so well the two weeks I was doing that.

Yes, regular posting is a great idea.

Horrendous work situation (same one as before) but last thing on my mind is numbing out the pain. I seem to have learned that all pain means something. I will let it in and see what happens.

thank you for all your replies. I am not drinking today and I didn't yesterday. Feel dizzy and ill (but that is the come down from escitalopram) at least I don't feel self-loathing and guilt! love to you all

Day . Today's little 'challenge' was DH coming home with four cans of lager which was totally out of character cos he hardly ever drinks these days (mainly cos alcohol messes with his AD's).

Anyway I'm past my personal witching hour now so won't crack even though there are still a couple of cans in the fridge and usually I can't have alcohol in the house without drinking it.

Sorry to keep posting self-centred posts - I don't feel I know any of your situations well enough to chip in with advice/support yet (even if I had the advice to give!) but have to keep posting myself so I'm accountable.

Sorry - meant to say Day 3 here - but got distracted by DH and DS calling me to save them from a spider.

Good for you Edinbugger would your DH not consider giving up drinking in solidarity? Or at least not bring alcohol into the house? I'd find that hard to deal with, lucky for me I'm ALONE sobs