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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH kicked me, wtaf do I do now?

59 replies

TotallyKerplunked · 23/05/2013 23:00

DH kicked me while I was carrying DS, I fell and dropped DS (he is fine but I'm pretty sure my ankle is broken as I've broken it before).

DH flipped because I went to the shop while he and DS were napping and when I came back and found them both awake I said please don't sulk. t's not been great for a while but I would never think he would do that, he adores DS and I wouldn't believe he could do something so stupid that could have really hurt him.

I don't know what to do, I've told DH to leave and he has gone to his parents but he didn't take any of his stuff so I can only assume he will want to come back tomorrow. I haven't contacted the police, I don't want to jeopardise his job and as I'm a SAHM I rely on his income.

Can men change after a violent outburst? Is there any coming back from this? We have been together 7 years and its the first time he has even shouted at me let alone been violent.

OP posts:
SisterMatic · 23/05/2013 23:01

He kicked you, breaking your ankle while carrying your child..an you are worried about him??

Please ring the police.

auntmargaret · 23/05/2013 23:03

Police. No brainer, really. How are you?

FannyFifer · 23/05/2013 23:03

You need to contact police and get medical attention.

SisterMatic · 23/05/2013 23:04

Are you seeking medical attention as well?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 23/05/2013 23:05

Please call police. And seek medical attention for your ankle.

You do not rely on his income. There are ways to leave him. He might rely on his income but then he should have thought of that before he assaulted you.

Can you call family? Is there anyone who can come be with you?

hiddenhome · 23/05/2013 23:06

How old is your Ds?

A lot of abusers don't actually start abusing their partners until she becomes pregnant or has the baby. Her relatively vulnerable state can trigger something in these types and then the abuse starts.

If he's kicked you hard enough to think he's seriously damaged your ankle then you should be calling it a day and be making plans to go it alone tbh. You will receive benefits, you don't need to be dependant on this pig's income.

Do not allow him to enter the house tomorrow, change the locks if necessary. Personally, I would report him to the police.

SimLondon · 23/05/2013 23:06

Refuge - you don't need to be reliant on his income. Or dependant upon him, refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/
0808 2000 247

Please don't put your kids through the stress of an abusive home-life
call refuge - they will help.

DiscoDonkey · 23/05/2013 23:07

He kicked you hard enough to make you fall and drop your child and you think you may have broken your ankle the only way forward is to leave. This might be the first time but there is nothing to say there won't be a next time

katieks · 23/05/2013 23:09

If you don't call the police now, he may get the impression that he can get away with it again next time something makes him mad. you can call the police and have the incident on file even if you don't press charges, I think that'll give him the message that you mean business.

JumpingJackSprat · 23/05/2013 23:09

Call the police, fuck his job - what about your child if he had been hurt when you fell? Quite aside from that, this utter bastard may have broken your ankle ... if someone did this in the street what would you do?!

50shadesofbrown · 23/05/2013 23:11

You say it's the first time. I bet it won't be the last. You want your DS to grow up seeing that?

Call the police. Leave him. Protect yourself & your DS.

TheChaoGoesMu · 23/05/2013 23:11

He kicked you and quite possibly broke your ankle. He kicked you whilst you were carrying your child. It is only luck that your child wasn't injured. His actions aren't rational, and it is likely that he could flip and do this again, no matter how much remorse he might show right now. There is no coming back from this.
I'm sorry.

Original poster
TotallyKerplunked · 23/05/2013 23:12

I haven't called the police, I'm just shocked and need to get my head round this, and I can't get to a hospital tonight, I have no one to look after DS, (we are away from home), DS took a lot a calming down so it was more important to focus on him. I just wanted to talk as
no one in rl will believe me.

OP posts:
DiscoDonkey · 23/05/2013 23:13

Also your DS is unhurt by chance not because you husband was making a conscious effort to keep him safe in the cross fire. What if you had landed on your child and it was him with the broken bones?

Xales · 23/05/2013 23:14

Another one saying call the police.

He may have broken your ankle over the most trivial thing.

What the hell will he give himself permission to do over something less trivial?

What would be your line for calling the police if an assault bad enough to break bones is not it?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 23/05/2013 23:14

Why would your family not believe you?

SimLondon · 23/05/2013 23:15

you need professional advice - please call refuge, tomorrow it could be your child that's injured.

DiscoDonkey · 23/05/2013 23:15

If you call the police they will get you to hospital and checked out. You and your child are away from home with a violent man and you may have a broken ankle.

Mumsyblouse · 23/05/2013 23:16

That must have been an extremely hard kick:(

I would never ever tolerate any violence, that is just a line you can't cross. I'm sorry. I think you need to get out of that relationship, it cannot function when one person breaks another person's bones.

Xales · 23/05/2013 23:16

You could increase the damage if you do not get medical attention. That will impact your child more if you have to stay in hospital longer than if you go, taking him tonight.

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/05/2013 23:23

I'm so sorry, this must be a huge shock. However even if he has never been violent before it's very likely that he is emotionally abusive - you expected him to sulk because you went to the shop while he was napping? You do know this isn't normal?

If you need medical attention, take DS with you to hospital. They don't usually get children in adults' A&E and they'll probably be quite taken with him! You don't have to tell them how the injury occurred if that us what you are afraid of. But if you do choose to, you will be believed and they won't make you contact the police. Take a taxi or call an ambulance since you can't drive with a broken ankle.

Noregrets78 · 23/05/2013 23:25

When you say you're getting your head together, please don't come up with the conclusion that this is not such a big deal...

This is very serious, and you really do need to get it sorted. You can call the police and DS will sleep straight through. Just calling the police will not jeopardise his job, and they can talk you through the options.

AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 23:34

Medical staff and the police will believe you

Why would they not ?

BlackeyedSusan · 23/05/2013 23:36

please do not stay with him. don't make the same mistake as I did.

get medical treatment.

tell the drs how it happened and you own gp if you do not want to tell the police, though it would be a good idea to tell the police.

it does not necessarily mean an end to his job.

chipmonkey · 23/05/2013 23:40

You poor thing! Go to the police and go to the hospital for treatment and tell them how it happened.
He risked the life of your child. Your baby could easily have been injured and your H had no regard for your safety when he did that.
His job is really the least of your worries, there is help out there. Don't take him back, he will do it again.