Fresh Start, no more losers.

[LoserNoMore]

Just thought I'd start a new thread, general chit chat, moaning, skipping etc before I go to work and incase the other one fills up.

I've never done that on my own, Lazarus. I'm so bored when they're not here. Even watching a movie I find boring. I've always enjoyed my own space and not needed anyone but that was when we were together. Now it is so overwhelmingly bloody lonely. I think because I have no choice in the matter. I hate feeling like this, I know I'll go home, tidy up and just be bored. Having time on my own used to be great but now it's just too hard.

LNM is there any decorating you could be getting on with? Just putting a different shade of paint on the walls can change the look of a room. Or get JD to help you move the furniture around.

How about bagging up all of ex's stuff and making the place your own?

Also might be a good opportunity to see a solicitor.

Plan your week with activities to keep you busy in the evenings. Could you got for a swim or a fitness class to make sure that you are physically tired too.

There is lots I could do, Fairenuff. I'm just not used to doing them when I know I should be part of a family doing them. It probably doesn't make any sense, at this moment there is only one thing I have planned. I've even stayed on late at work. Thanks.

Just wanted to say thanks for every bit of advice/support/laughs.

LNM, get yourself out of that office!
Are there any foods or things to do that you like but the DC don't? Can you treat yourself to them while they're away, to try and flip it to be (a bit) positive? my food would be pickled onion monster munch

I'm home now, Miffy. Not sure. Btw roast beef monster munch are better ;)

Just gonna pot mysel a very large vodka and coke

Make a list of all the things you can't do (or do easily) with the dcs and get them all done this week so that you are completely free to spend lots of time with them when they are back.

And if there is anything that you've been putting off because you just can't face it, get it done now.

If you're having a drink could you take a book out into the garden and lose yourself in it for an hour or so whilst sipping your vodka and nibbling monster munch?

Just drunk contemplating everything. Had enough. The end

Yeah the drink will do that to you LNM.

You really have been through it these last few weeks. One thing after another. You have been amazing. You will get through it, you've had some good days and, at the start, you never thought that would happen.

Have you had something to eat?

I can understand how you feel about not wanting to that stuff on your own. This feels like bad timing, you've been doing really well lately and starting to sound more positive. I'm gutted that this week has come as a shock and you didn't remember it last week. At least that way you could have made plans.

But...you will do this, as Fairenuff says. You have dealt with more shit than you can have imagined over the last couple of months and kept your strength and dignity. I am in awe of you, honestly I am. You will turn this corner and keep on walking.

Nah, no more walking. Had enough, no amount of walking with head up works

I wouldn't be missed what's the point

Cheesecake??? Goes well with alcohol so I've noticed

Honestly LNM, you've walked with your head held high these last two months and come through some real crap. You will always get days where you feel sad, lonely etc. Does it mean you want him back? Lets hope not because you are clearly a much better person than he will ever be. And you deserve better. And life will get better, it will. It's another first isn't it - first time the girls have been away for a week can seem quite daunting - and lonely. You'll probably be amazed at how fast the week goes. Have a night feeling sorry for yourself - you're allowed to do that. No one can be strong all the time. But that's what we're here for - to help you when you're down. Tomorrow is another day - but just you make sure you don't stay late at work every day cos that really is no way to spend your week.

I've had a crap start to the week - got a dicky tummy and been off work - being a carer I can't go in at all when ill in case I pass it to one of my clients. Should have been enjoying the sunshine but really have seen more of my bathroom wall and the bottom of the toilet than sunshine

Your DD's would miss you your family would miss you. We on Mn would miss you.
So put the vodka down pour yourself a coffee then a pint of water and get to bed.

I

Oh, LMN! Your DD's would definitely miss you, JD'd miss you and, as said above, we'd miss you!
Nights always feel worse - first nights alone particularly - and if only booze could make it better but it doesn't. I'm sure things'll seem better in the morning - if you're not hungover. Take care - you've got a lot of people rooting for you on here!

You would be very much missed LNM. I don't post much but always catch up on what's happening with you and so admire how you've handled the crap that's happened to you. Similar happened to me - will be 2 years in October and I promise you it does get easier with time. It is very hard to accept, as much as anything it's the loss of the family we so wanted. Of course we still have a family with our children but its not the way we expected.

Maybe some other wise posters will come along with very practical tips on how you make a fantastic new life.

I just wanted you to know there are people who are thinking of you.

Right Lady! Step away from the vodka. Call a friend, call ME if you want to. But this is not you, this wallowing is not on. You are better than that.

I have no one literally know one. What a life

JD? Your DD's? Us? Your friends?

Hate to hear you sounding so sad. This will pass.

I am having to put up with the company of my FIL tonight. He has moaned that there is nothing to drink - there is plenty but just no full fat lemonade!! So he's thrown his toys out the pram and gone to buy some!!! Such a bad hostess me! I only made his dinner and my DS has given up his bed for him to sleep in!!!! I would rather be on my own tonight than put up with him all night!!!

I'm d's sad to leg you all down but I've had enough

When your really down LNM the only way is up.

You know how much your girls adore you. So many of us here, who don't even know you, admire your dignity and respect your strength.

But you don't have to be strong all the time. It's ok to feel weak and lost and helpless. It's a natural feeling after all. But you won't feel like this for ever.

Feelings come and feelings go. We never feel the same all the time. This too will pass x

Ha! theonly we both said the same there - see LNM it must be true!

You need help with this. Its not a weakness, its feeling vulnerable. Acknowledge it and lets see what can we do to help you?

This is not forever, this is a feeling now, in this moment.

It all means nothing all of it, disengages mstter good noght