Fresh Start, no more losers.

[LoserNoMore]

Just thought I'd start a new thread, general chit chat, moaning, skipping etc before I go to work and incase the other one fills up.

Hi lovelies, sorry didn't mean to worry anyone. I'm ok, just had a horrible week and shut myself away from everyone. Waste of time attempting to talk to my boss about work, nothing changed. Ex is indeed being his usual wankerish self, appeared her on Thurs night drunk, I had to call police. Don't really want to go into it too much but was horrible.

SAF, I hope your surgery went well. Hope everyone else is ok. Dd1 and 2 are away to sleepovers tonight, dd3 is with my friend for the night. I'm sitting in the garden with a beer wondering where the fuck it all went wrong.

LNM, sorry to hear you had hassle on Thursday. Hopefully you calling the police sent him a message and he'll think twice about doing it again. FWIW, I absolutely think you did the right thing, no question.

Can't say I'm surprised about your boss, bloody annoyed with her though. A good boss looks after their employees and doesn't try to run them into the ground.

Those situations are both beyond your control to an extent. You can't make people behave well unfortunately. None of this is your fault although you have little choice but to deal with it. Keep looking for another job, someone will realise how amazing you are soon. Your ex, I hope has had a fright and be more sensible in the future.

Enjoy your beer, look back on your lovely snog a fortnight ago and smile to yourself. Life will get better, I promise. There will be a crack in the clouds soon

LittleEsme! I read that agog thinking wow brave/lucky woman. Der...!

LNM. I too was forced into calling the police. Horrid horrid horrid. Probably a defining point in our divorce. It marked a boundary but of course he just tried another tactic to get back at me. I suspect in your exs little head he feels badly treated and justified in his behaviour

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Lazarus,seems like everything is beyond my control right now, that's the hardest part to deal with. Ex has been charged, he seemed to forget we no longer share a bed and in his drunken state or whatever mindset he was in he decided that he'd have his own way. Sorry trying not to be cryptic or go into too much detail.

Trying not to get too drunk either, very tempting though.

LNM - I have been lurking for a few days, but your latest post is :( and ... I am glad that you got the Police involved. Can you up security on the house so that X cannot get in? Even if he is on the mortgage, if he has progressed to ?sexual? assault, then you should be able to change to locks now....

I hope that you are OK xx

LNM

Really concerned, in fact.

oh LNM I hope you are ok. Ex has no right to be anywhere near you, never mind anything else. Ive PMd you, just shout if you want my number.

You need a shoulder, and I have lovely broad ones.

I thought ex would be involved somewhere along the line. And I understand not being in control of things is awful. I wouldnt say Im a control freak, but deep down I know that I am a big bit. I also dont like not being able to control my life or at least a portion of it.

Just remember, this too shall pass.

Bastard

I'm so sorry LNM

Oh LNM - just catching up on thread as been away! What a total bastard! Hope you're ok - that probably sounds a bit feeble but don't know how else to say it! I'm so and !!

It's another situation dealt with, and like others have said, perhaps this will help him to realise how serious this all is. I know none of this helps you right now though

You absolutely did the right thing though, don't think that you didn't or that you could have handled things differently. This was in your control and you dealt with it. Now he has to deal with the consequences. I hope it's sunny up there for you. I hate to think of you going through that on your own

Take care

Try not to get drunk, not on your own when you've been through something traumatic, alcohols a depressant.

I think we can all guess what he did .

What can we do to distract you?

So sorry to hear what a shitty week you've had LNM, I wish there was something useful I could say or do but hopefully it helps at least a little bit knowing there are so many of us wishing you well and sending you love, albeit remotely.

This too shall pass,and one day you will look back and cry with pride at how amazingly well you handled it all. You are such a brilliant role model for your DDs, a great mum and a strong woman with solid values and a high sense of self worth. I wish I could give you these in person

Thank you. Just so tired, you think you've hit a low then somehow you slip lower. I try so hard to keep going everyday, I need to but something just drags me back down. I need a break.

Just going to bed, got a splitting headache. Thanks again for all your support, it's very much appreciated.

Have you got anything you can take for a good nights sleep?

Everything seems so much better when you aren't dog tired.

/hugs

LNM if I didn't have work and small child I would get in the car and drive to you. I'm probably old enough to be your mother (just ) but I'd stand guard on that door, feed you, deal with crap, clean your house and take you and your DC for a fun day out. Empty gesture maybe in view of my small child and work ... But honestly if it wasn't for them ...

I'd be your wing man Cabbage, I really would. I'm hating what you're going through LNM. I wish I could make it all better

Ah that's kind, thanks.

Haven't been able to sleep, headache has developed into a migraine and I've had to make myself sick to try and get rid of it but its pounding.

Just caught up on your thread LNM.

I too wish I could make this awful situation go away. I've no words to describe your ex. How dare he - he's overstepped the mark too many times now. I'm glad you reported him.

Hope your headache soon goes

Love & prayers to you and DC. Xxxx

The nightmare will end LNM. I know it seems unlikely right now. It will though

Oh LNM, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. How someone can appear to change do much in a matter if weeks, it is so confusing and disturbing. I'm so glad that your girls have got a positive, strong and constant role model in you!

What might help for these headaches, neck two painkillers and a can of coke at the very first sign. I suffer from migraines and sometimes I can put a stop to them developing with this. Sorry if I am telling granny how to suck eggs.

I'm glad that you managed to get to a phone and call the police. If you need to offload and can't do it in RL, I'm sure any one of us would be happy if you PMed us. If we're guessing right, some of us have been in your shoes. Remember, you aren't responsible for his actions, only he is. If the police have charged him, that indicates how serious they see his behaviour - doesn't always happen I can tell you!

You do need a break, we'd love to be able to do something practical to help. Migraines are awful, I haven't had one for a long time but they were so debilitating. Really grim. No wonder you feel bad, but it will get better. Promise.

SAF, hope all is ok with you and things went smoothly.

Morning, unbelievably tired this morning. Beautiful day again but I think it was the sun that brought on the headache yesterday so avoiding sitting out too long. Bleedingheart, I'm terrible for taking painkillers, I always leave it too late. Bloody hate migraine, I've been suffering a lot with them recently.

Girls will be home around 1pm so I'm going to set up the paddling pool and have a BBQ. I am most definitely not going to work this week, I think it would break me.

Ex sil text me this 'I don't know what has happened between you and ex but he's been gone since Friday evening, he said he's visiting a friend in Newcastle, any ideas?' I've ignored and I'm going to change my number. I don't want to see or hear his name.

Defintely moving away from this whole area, nothing keeping me here at all. Infact all reasons to get the hell away, too many bad things have happened.

hey. god she sounds like an insensitive numpty doesn't she? she might not know what's happened more recently but she damn well knows enough to know she should either be supporting you or having the decency to leave you alone

i'm sorry you've had more nightmares from him lnm. don't know what happened and dont' want to assume but very cross and sad for you.

glad you're not going to work. i shall be having the week off too so if you need company i'll be sat around with my sore boobs and up for a chat or a game of online scrabble or something.

surgeon is happy with how things went and i am home. one dog is with me on sofa the other and my son are coming back later this afternoon. thanks for the soothing vibes people sent - keep them coming please!

Your SIL is playing along with his stupid little game. He may or may not be 'away', but either way, it's not down to you. Can you just block her instead of changing your number? I hope he's sitting somewhere, feeling miserable, ashamed and disgusted with himself. He sinks lower and lower over time. You, on the other hand are getting stronger. You are seeing that there is a way out and forwards for you and your dds. Build on that strength and anger, let it focus you and carry you forward.

SAF, glad things are going well. Hope your sons will look after you well.