This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

Ok!!!

thanks Snape x

I don't know exactly what a revenge stylee beard would be, but I think it may be like the Master in the 80's Doctor Who. The one with the pointy goatee. That I could stroke while saying 'Mwah ha ha'. But I'm not really a 'mwah ha ha' person so don't know if that would suit me.

Plus, I'd look like a tit.

Thank you for the good luck wishes...

But house was a NO. Just NO. It was filthy. I like using bleach when I clean, but this place would need gallons of the stuff. It looked like a crack den. Never been to a crack den before but I am guessing this is what it would look like. Landlord is clearly a con artist, pictures were not an accurate reflection in the slightest. And the bugger wants to charge top end rent.

Back to the drawing board.

Wonder how OWWs evening is going?

A question for the more succesful daters. After how many dates with one particular person does it become unacceptable to meet up with other people for a first date?

I'm sort of off the view that because OD is such a numbers game that anything goes until a conversation has been had. But if the shoe was on the other foot, realistically I'd be annoyed if I was on say a fourth date and knew that the guy was still meeting up with new people. But I'm not sure if I'd have a right to feel annoyed or it would just be wounded pride as it would be obvious they weren't that into me, IYSWIM.

Well, that was a very good evening. Very nice man, quiet but funny, easy to talk to once we got going, nice normal bloke I think. Nice looking, not stunning but nice. Stayed for three drinks which I don't usually do on the first date. He held my hand when we came out of the pub and we had a hug and a little kiss in the car park. I like him.

He's asked to see me again and I've said yes, text off him by the time I'd got home. Looks like I am on a roll this week!

Aaaaaaaaaggghhh why do they do this? The man from Friday that I'd gone and slept with and then he disappeared...has no resurfaced as if nothing was amiss.

So conflicted over whether I want to tell him to shove off or just go shag him again. Gah! Men, just be normal, please!

Morning all.

Hey 24 hours

Sounding good OWW

I always try to look on the positive side of life pom Bloody hard at times.

Raf I had one like that, turned out to be what my gut told me he was, an Arsehole

Yay oww love it!! You will have to share your secrets...?

Thanks 48 I always try to be positive. Look for every silver lining etc then Sometimes something happens and there just isn't any positive to be found. I'm okay but just sad for other people.

Looks like I'm in for a date with Ruggers next wed. I suggested tomorrow but he is busy till mon and I can't do mon so next wed it is. Not sure it will happen bit if like it to. He isn't a big texter, I can be so I find it difficult to interpret what he is thinking. Please tell me how to be cool and not a texting idiot...? You all seem to play the game so well.

raf he might just not be a big communicator. I always expect people to be the same as me but they're not. Meet him. See how you feel 2nd time
around.

stranger 4 dates in and if it was going well I think if be put out by other dates. Have the chat, set the boundaries then you know

Pom the problem is I don't want to set boundaries, I'm still in the keeping my options open stage, but worried I may be being unreasonable.

I am going to take a break from posting. Every time I do, its just one more reminder of how lonely and 'odd' I am. How normal everyone elses lives are. Because mine isn't. It stopped being normal 20 years ago when my mum died, and its. Never got any better. I can't relate to anything most of you talk about because I've never done any of it. I've never been on holiday with a man, never celebrated anniversaries. Its all stuff that happens to other people.

I know that most people think I'm weird, how can I be normal if men are repelled by me, if after 4 years not one is interested in me? I was on a thread before this. All the people on it who were my age are in relationships/ living together/ married. And nothing has changed for me. And despite all the 'oh, you'll find someone eventually', no-one believes that, least of all me. I have no-one who loves me, the way I feel right now it seems impossible I ever will.

And yes so I have a house, a decent job, 2 kids who I don't like much atm and vice versa. I also have no mother, father, grandparents, siblings, no-one who loves me. In those terms what I do have is pretty insignificant.

Are you not that into him stranger?

Pom The texting stuff is crap. I like a man I don't have to worry about who does what, when. They seem to be as rare as hens teeth though.
Just don't get too involved. He is just some bloke off the net at the moment.

Oh Velvet You sound so sad. I am so very sorry.

Have a break if you need it. You will be missed.

48 I don't know, guess not. I don't want to marry him and I've never been good at dealing with the 99% who fall into that category. It's probably why I never have short term relationships.

morning all, I have been reading, honest, even if not posting.

Just a quick one to say ... OWW keeping my fingers crossed for you, you are indeed on a roll

just had to post to say Velvet sweetheart, you sound so sad and lonely and I completely understand why, I guess all of us do. It's hard feeling that the only person you have to depend on is yourself.

But, you are like everyone else, don't hold yourself apart. OK you haven't had some of the life experiences some people on here have had, you won't be the only one and there are plenty of experiences you will have had which other people will envy and have wanted in their lives, having a great job, being able to have kids even if they are little shits and having financial security. I'm trying to say we are all different.

I don't know if you will find what you want eventually, how do any of us know what the future holds? But, please don't give up on life. If you really were repellent to men, would C, still be around, would he lie in bed and cuddle you and compliment you? No!

I don't want to sound harsh or too much like, be grateful for what you have although i suspect that is how this will read but you do have lots of good stuff, it is isn't insignificant.

A bit of self-indulgent, my life is shit time, is completely and utterly allowed but it needs perspective too my darling.

sorry if I have spoken out of turn, it is done with the best intentions.x

oh velvet

I absolutely get that - I have no parents or siblings, my only family is the DCs, 2/3rds of which don't go to school or have any focus - at least they do the chores I leave them to do - and the kids paternal grandparents who are just getting my back up at the moment. because nameless is having a M.E. dip, he's quiet and because of my issues that leads me to expect the other shoe to drop and be all doomful and worried when I shouldn't be?I'm just trying to put that out of mind at the moment, but what with everything money, career, children I'm over thinking and worrywarting. [selfcarp]

I would say that the grass may not necessarily be greener for your friends who are in relationships and how things seem from the outside are seldom how they look from inside.

I'm really sorry that you feel low and hope things look brighter soon. If you'd like a cake date then hit me up.

Men are NOT 'repelled' by you

and oww glad your date went well -

raf go and shag him. The time lapse can be put down to bloke-hours being ike dog-years.

Raf what Snape says. He doesn't sound like a disappearer, maybe just impolite.

bloke hours being like dog years Snape, how true!

Perhaps I am a little old fashioned. I like a man with good manners.

Suppose it depends what you are looking for Raf

Velvet I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. I also get it. It is just DS (who also doesn't like me generally and has said so) and me. I do have a Mum but I can't remember her being there for me. This is one reason why I can't face birthdays and Christmas, it reminds me there is no one. It's just very hard sometimes, and you're right, great job, nice house does not make up for it. Friends have their own lives and having access to friends is not the same as knowing they will be there no matter what. As for your friends who are all in relationships, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. As for holidays, I've lived in resorts and know too well that holidays are full of bickering couples. As is Ikea, and Tesco, and a lot of cars at the traffic lights. No one thinks you're odd.

I hope you stay here but if you need time out then I hope you'll come back soon. I'm also available for cake anytime.

Just stopping by to give Velvet some support. I know exactly how you are feeling.

While I have been on a few holidays with men, and have celebrated an anniversary, all my relationships have been abusive. it was only yesterday I deleted a photo on my facebook of a bottle of wine, choccies, roses, candles, and a massive card my ex bought for me on valentines day Underneath that pic, the comments were ' wow, you are so lucky Rose' Err no. It is not always how it seems... I don't have a supportive mother (she has given good advice in the past but I don't have her in my life for many reasons I wont go into) and I don't have a dad either, basically I have zero family just like you and it's bloody hard. I get that. And I know this is not the be all and end all, but least you had your head screwed on to get yourself a career so that you are in independent woman and you have your own 'shit'. There are so many women who appear on the outside to 'have it all' when in reality they have no independence and I wouldn't want to live like that either. I think you have a lot going for you, and to raise two sons on your own is remarkable.

I am just about to start my journey as a single mum, with zero family but I have decided I am going to create a family by having lots of friends in my life. I hope this will suffice...as I know it is not the same as a mum/dad etc but I figured that I need to give it a go...

You have probably already tried the lots of friends thing, so I am just rambling really. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone...

Just wanted to pop back and say thanks for your kind words. I am, if not quite as low as I've ever been, then pretty close. I know others are worse off than me financially, but most (thought not all) have families and/or spouses, partners, someone. I'd give it all up just to have one person who loved me, be that a parent, a sibling, a partner.

I cant drink at all or eat cake atm due to the diet (which I have to stick to because I am disgustingly fat at the moment and even more repellent to men than normal) so thank you but I will have to pass, plus I am truly dreadful company. No surprise I am single really. The best I've managed to do in 4 years is a man who doesn't want a relationship and who I only see if I ask him repeatedly, and then only every 4-6 weeks. So he's clearly not interested. And that's the best I could do. See, even though I pretend I am, I'm really not 'normal' in the slightest.

I will come back, if things improve, but I don't know if they will, let alone when. I hope they do, but not sure if I expect they will - if that makes sense.