This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

OWW is it correct that anew partner can claim step children as dependents for CSA calculation? The whole thing seems odd. Surely Titto would have claimed he was living in the same house and they were already dependent to reduce the amount before now. Do you think he could have made it all up just to let you know he is getting married/moving in? or simply to make you worry you about the payments due?

Juliette any of those things is possible. It sounds a bit odd to me too and it's more difficult as I don't have proper information just snippets. He is a brazen liar and fantasist though so I am very wary about what he is saying.

I am so relieved to be rid of him.

OWW - I had a quick look at the government website for CSA payments. Seems like they reduce the payments due if the paying parent or their partner claims child benefit. So I guess he could just be moving in with someone from today, and therefore considered as supporting other children. Like "Juliette" said, surely if he was getting married he'd have moved in before now and already have tried to reduce his payments? Hopefully the CSA will sort it out anyway. But it's just under stress isn't it.

I have made do with some left over crumble, so haven't missed out on pudding entirely

Thanks for that Splish. He's definitely getting/got married, his sister and dad have confirmed this separately but not the date. I really don't care about it in some ways, but in other ways I am really fed up as like you say it's just more stress.

There is no pudding in my house at all unless you count bloody Frubes, which I don't but there might be some chocolate left over from the party which shouldn't be left lying around

eeeeewwww I'm getting winked at by a 61 year old hungarian woman. Photo of her looking suicidal in front of the PC, with the monitor reflecting off her big square glasses.

Have you winked back Bant? She sounds right up your street.

Bant they do say that if what you always do doesn't work, it's time to change what you always do...

yeah we're having dinner next week. I won't offer sticky toffee pudding though

Might cause difficulties with the dentures, Bant

The nice man from down the road has just said he'd like to meet me - this is all very exciting! (Must not get carried away but I feel a little bit hopeful here).

I wemt back to bed earlier for an afternoon nap. And woke up at 8. Bizarrely I still feel tired!

Am on my phone as DS has commandeered the laptop so apologies for typos and if I forget anyone!

Western, glad the party went well! I felt a bit sad when we had DS2s party last year, realising it was the last party they'd have (no doubt until DS1 is 18 and has some huge party when I'm on holiday or something...wouldn't put it past him to try )

Yoga, good to see you back! Have missed you!

The stuff about types etc...my own 2ps worth is that its good sometimes to try a different type to the norm. C works in an office (always one of my complete no-nos) and doesn't do a practical, physical job. Physically he's very slim which is not me (I normally go for stocky men, or those like the evil ex who are slim but wiry..if that makes sense). But he is gorgeous and I am hugely attracted to him, even if in others ways he isn't the type I'd go for. I didn't hear from him yesterday, but I can't be certain I told him it was my birthday before he went away so am not going to get huffy about that!

I don't really have a type- but don't really find very thin or very overweight attractive - pretty much anything in between is ok. Not bothered about classic good looks or anything - there just has to be something appealing about the other person

Thanks Velvet - what age do parties stop? Roll on the day . . . Eighteenth birthday parties are a good excuse for a piss up, much more my type of party! Actually, I do quite enjoy these things and I feel quite chuffed that I managed it all by myself with no help at all and it went really well.

Going out with this man next week babysitters permitting. Need to think of a name for him, will call him . . . no idea at all, will come back to this one tomorrow.

Seen an interesting guy in Preston if anyone is keen and on OKC..

Left tonight in somewhat bad mood - a heavy metal tribute band - kill me now!
Have invited Meet Up guy to dinner on Sat. Feeling unsure, to say the least. He sort of gets me, but there are big disparities in our situations - let's just say I will always be comfortably off - how much does this matter? Am I over-thinking?
It would be easy to anesthetise myself in an endorphin-fuelled sexual relationship-but is this a good idea? Also, I kind of wish there was a 15 page questionnaire I could hand out to assess sexual competence before DTD. The nightmare of extricating yourself from a first (& probably only) night of crap sex. Ah, the joy of dating...

ranger
Maybe that's one advantage of online dating, something like Ok Cupid has the questionnaire so you can weed out the (overly) fetishists or people who like it once a month after a nice cup of horlicks.

In real life, you have to discover these things the old fashioned way.

Advice needed...

Potential Lovely Man is coming round tonight (for valid, non-romantic reason). I have told two people in RL that I like him and thinks he likes me. One has said I should ask him for a drink. One has said not to, not to make the first move. The first is a woman, the second is a man.

So which is it? As I said before, I've been in a LTR since the Middle Ages for a long time and I'm totally out of touch with anything and everything!

Of course, all this could be moot. After all, asking him for a drink requires courage...

Morning all!

Western I think the parties (certainly for boys) tend to stop around the age of 11...however girls seem then to have sleepover-type parties for birthdays (which according to my friends who have teen DDs consist of up to 10 girls giving each other french manicures, applying false eyelashes and huge amounts of makeup and screaming over the boys they fancy, plus eating sweets, crisps and chocolate well into the early hours...!) before both sexes then lobby for 'proper' parties with alcohol from the age of 16. Ah, for the days of pass the parcel! I actually used to really enjoy the parties when they were little - the Ex is shit in social situations (unless he's pissed) and incapable of dealing with children so the whole thing always used to get left to me even before we split!

ranger IMO you are overthinking it really. If the sex is bad, it's bad. No big deal - if it's really bad then that's the end of that; if it's the sort of bad which is seems to have potential to improve, then it depends whether you feel strongly enough to bother, or not - and if not, then the first answer applies. And of course it may well be good anyway. There's no guarantees, you just have to go with the flow. As to financial stuff, I've never been out with anyone as well off as me, I grew up in a council house and couldn't give 2 shits about money, it doesn't bother me but it does often bother men. The insecure ones don't like the idea of a woman having/earning more than them. It only matters if one (or both) of you is unhappy. If you're ok with it, and he is, then no problem.

unexpected firstly do you know he's single? assuming you do, then maybe suggest a casual drink...honestly, the worst he will say is no. I have been turned down before. It stung at the time, but I don't regret asking. Just keep it low key. If he likes you, he will say yes. If not, at least you know and aren't left wondering. Of course, he may ask you first, in which case, accept!!

I am up early again, awake since 6ish (no doubt tomorrow when I need to be up early I will struggle!). Having a bit of a think about the whole situation with C. Which is tricky because whilst it's not entirely what I want (yet anyway), I know full well that the single men round here are seriously unattractive and/or entitled, unintelligent fuckwits. So the alternatives are not appealing. ATM I think I will let it drift along a bit longer, another couple of months, and see if anything changes.

Anun I think I'd probably ask him for a drink, life's too short to miss an opportunity ( sounds like a dreadful motivational speaker type statement but it's too early for me to think properly )

Yoga how lovely to see you back, I'm glad work's going well.

Moan how much easier it would be if they came with some sort of sexual guarantee so you didn't waste time with some bloke who drums on you or twiddles with your nipples like he's trying to tune a radio - ' Derek, aged 45, good runner, 12 careful lady owners. Excellent bodywork, thoroughly serviced. Skills include cunnilingus, light spanking, languorous stroking and appropriate levels of dirty talk. Will not 'accidentally' attempt to take you up the wrong un or suggest you might appreciate being urinated on. Never stalls. Ideal for long runs out in the countryside '

unexpected - another option is to say you need a cinema buddy as you hate going to the cinema alone. It's not so loaded as drinks together

Morning - I forgot how much u lot make me laugh! Nice to see lots of familiar names. Really nothing else interesting to report but will try to keep up for a while (not easy as I'm on my phone).

splish I'd give him another chance. I thought nameless was lovely when we first met, but I didn't look at him and immediately think I'd like to rip his clothes off. I remember wondering what it might be like to kiss him, but then thinking that might be a bit scary, so I didn't.

Speaking of which, I am now paying for my own holiday, it didn't sit well...and he's suggested a dreadful huge monolithic complex in lanzarote that looks like a city, so I'll be spending my day googling.

And doctor who was wonderful I cried because he loved river and it was too sad and romantic!

Oh and for yoga and thread-wave for thread...

I'll have Derek, Nora, if he's going spare ...

Yoga hope everything is going well. Lovely to see you again.

Turn personally I wouldn't ask him because I am horribly shy, but I might lead the conversation in that direction a bit and see what happened.

When's C back off his hols Velvet?

Ranger has there been any kissing yet? That might help you make up your mind. Wouldn't worry about the money stuff unless it bothers you/him. Am assuming there's no suggestion of freeloading too when I say that.

Snape - yes, I loved DW, I really want to be River in a way that is utterly unseemly for a 46 year old woman.

I know OWW, I was thinking that about Derek as I typed it, perhaps the engineer will be Derek.

Velvet, anything in particular triggered off your Cuthbert ponderings ?

Hello everyone, have a lovely Sunday - mwwwwwahhhhh.

Snape Sorry but I am slightly at Lanzarote...not quite the relaxing, quiet holiday destination! Am sure you will find lots of rather lovely Greek island type alternatives though :)

Western he's been back since Weds/Thurs. I haven't heard from him yet, but that's not a major surprise. Kin I think it's a bit of post- birthday 'I'm 41, what am I doing with my life' type thing. Combined with another 2 people on my FB 'in a relationship'-ing, which is yet another affront to my competitive nature...