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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Telling me what to wear in bed

45 replies

YorkshireQueen · 20/05/2006 20:14

if your dp told you not to wear anything for bed would you do what he said? I have always had trouble sleeping completely naked but I do occasionally make the effort when DP stays over (we dont live together) and go to bed with nothing on.

I dont like doing it though and do normally wear either a silky short nightie or silky short pyjamas but last week when DP stayed over he was in a mood over it saying I didnt 'do anything for him' looking like that in my 'grandma pyjamas' and said he wanted me to sleep naked when he was there. I agreed but after thinking about it, why the hell should I do what he wants when it makes me uncomfortable?

What would you do?

OP posts:

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 20/05/2006 20:16

If hes not there very often then i'd make the effort to please him (more so if it was a new relationship)

Maybe you can compromise - go to bed naked and cuddle up (basically do the sex bit) and then put your jammies on?

Angeliz · 20/05/2006 20:18

I'd tell hi to bog off!

expatinscotland · 20/05/2006 20:18

No. I don't feel comfortable sleeping nude.

I wouldn't expect someone to sleep the way I sleep so I don't see why someone should demand that of me.

Sorry, but as Oscar Wilde once said, Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.'

tenalady · 20/05/2006 20:19

They just dont like pyjamas do they. Try a long t shirt just below buns.

mrspitt · 20/05/2006 20:20

If dh asked me not to wear any thing,..............

I would be totally over the moon , knew i would be in for a good time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

expatinscotland · 20/05/2006 20:21

My DH LOVES my PJ's. I adore nightware and take good care of my matching PJs, even though they are from George and Tesco and Primark.

They're still good and I treat them as such.

He wears boxers to bed b/c he wants to.

Good for him.

We both sleep comfortably.

Tortington · 20/05/2006 20:28

tell him to fuck off and buy some pyjamas, and if he dunt like you in yours he knows where to go. take me for what i am warts n all or fuck right off

jac34 · 20/05/2006 20:34

I don't feel comfortable sleeping in PJs or nightie,I get all tangled up.However,I really love my very,unsexy,PJs.
I spend all evening in them(undress same time as kids),take them off to go to bed,then put them back on,to get up in the morning.I do all my tidying and chores,then put them in the wash, shower and dress.
I know DH doesn't find them sexy,but then why should I dress as a sex object to please him.We live in a draughty,victorian house,they are for MY comfort and warmth(I also wear fluffy socks) and I do take them off in bed.

Could you not take them off to go to bed,then after the "sexy bit" put them on again.
Could you get comfortable wearing sexy bra and knickers,or would he not be happy with that either.

nicnack2 · 20/05/2006 20:41

dh used to ask me the same thing. which i ne ver did. now he wears pj bottoms. he still married me.

Hoopoe · 20/05/2006 22:05

Whaddaya mean 'told you'? Are you a naughty girl who's misbehaving? Of course you should feel comfortable when you go to sleep in your own bed!

fattiemumma · 21/05/2006 15:18

I' tell hi to pog off, that your an adult and quite capable of choosing what to wear in bed and if your not comfortable then you wont enjoy yourself whether its simply sleeping or anything else and that seeing as you have children in the house if you dont want to be walking aorund starkers in your own home you dont see why you should be made to feel guilty.

TBH i am a little sensetive about things like this as i just feel if he is like this now what would his next strop be about? its a form of "behaviour modification" if you ask me and i wouldnt do it if i didnt feel comfy

GDG · 21/05/2006 15:26

tell him to shove it! Cheeky bastard!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 21/05/2006 17:39

It sounds like both a power (i.e he wants to wield power over you) and control issue to me I am sorry to say.

Does he also try telling you what to do in other areas of your life?. If so alarm bells should start ringing!.

motherinferior · 21/05/2006 17:42

I'd keep my socks on.

(I am actually quite serious about that.)

IknowDazsManager · 21/05/2006 17:42

It sounds like both a power (i.e he wants to wield power over you) and control issue to me I am sorry to say.

Does he also try telling you what to do in other areas of your life?. If so alarm bells should start ringing!.

Agree with Meerkat.................

Do you live in Darlington ??

zippitippitoes · 21/05/2006 17:44

I wear what i want or not..can't imagine dp piping up with his opinion

EggyCorgan · 21/05/2006 17:49

Do you tell him what to wear in bed?

LadyTophamHatt · 21/05/2006 17:53

I never ever ever sleep nude.....what happens if you have an itchy bum in the night???

Ewwwww

kama · 21/05/2006 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IknowDazsManager · 21/05/2006 17:55

I agreed but after thinking about it...........

Is that the same as "looking back" ???

kama · 21/05/2006 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

moondog · 21/05/2006 21:34

LTH..eh??
I never ever wear anything in bed.
Got some strange looks in hospital when having my children.

I dunno,think it's flkattering he likes your nakled body next to him meself.

LadyTophamHatt · 22/05/2006 06:56

well, I'm not saying my mum is alway itchy at night but what if you get an itchy bum when you're naked.

I'm not gonna scratch my own bum when it's naked.

(BTW i don't mean bum cheeks, that's ok, I'll scratch my bum cheeks...I mean the the bit between your bum cheeks!....ewwwww)

LadyTophamHatt · 22/05/2006 06:58

obviously my MUM might be itchy at night....I don't know. I'll ask her when I next see her

My BUM on the other hand isn't always itchy.....

eidsvold · 22/05/2006 08:13

wear whatever you want to wear....

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