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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
Scrazy · 11/05/2013 20:28

OWW, sadly I'm not on a date and didn't get my cocktail, my mate cancelled.

What's up Tigsy?

TigsytheTiger · 11/05/2013 20:33

its my 13 year old daughter birthday, I have a house full of 5 screaming, hyper active 13 year girls, with full make up on looking about 17 but acting about 9! I'm trying to block it out Scrazy Grin with alcohol!

Scrazy · 11/05/2013 20:42

Grin Tigsy I remember it well, treasure it because they go off to uni and leave you missing them.

TigsytheTiger · 11/05/2013 20:51

I know! I don't know where the last 13 years went, she was a gorgeous early baby and I can remember her being put in my arms and now she is screaming with her mates and arguing over the Ben and Jerry's ice cream! Such a cliche, but where does the time go? If any cock ever messes her around I will tear his heart out!

HidingFromDD · 11/05/2013 20:58

Unlurking (from about 20 threads ago!) to say thanks Juliette, I'm sore and achy after a day spent painting but that made me laugh Grin

JulietteMontague · 11/05/2013 22:13

Hiding sore and achy? I know a physio who could sort that Wink

KinNora · 12/05/2013 02:36

Drunk and tired, email from Talent Show - WTAF?? Night everyone, I love you all, hic.

VelvetSpoon · 12/05/2013 06:38

Kin sounds like you had fun!

Hope all those on dates had a great evening :)

And happy Sunday everyone!

I'm a bit meh today. Found out a group of friends had a dinner party for them and their DHs/DPs last week, one more reminder of how I really don't fit in being the only singleton in the group, and I never will until I find a man. I get so fed up being the odd one out all the time, not just in that group, but generally.

Plus it's my birthday this week. I have always loved my birthday until last year when I had a massive meltdown about being 40. I don't feel much better about the prospect of being 41. Doesn't help that I'm not doing anything to celebrate it. The DSs will forget, as always. No-one I work with knows what date it is. And my so called best friends (not the dinner party group) are seeing me the weekend after the bank holiday Hmm because they were 'too busy' to see me on my actual birthday, or anything less than 2 weeks after.

So, all in all, not feeling overly happy. And I can't even drown my sorrows in chocolate!

Moanranger · 12/05/2013 07:14

velvet - get some single friends -right now! See your old coupled -up ones a lot less. Organise your own birthday party - ask anyone who is available, even if that includes your cleaner & your uncle! Get presents & flowers & drink a bit at some relaxed venue. Do not mope on B-day.
My STBXH announced end of marriage 10 days before mine ( he was supposed to be organising a hotel for mine& wasn't), so I organised my own & spent evening surrounded by people who really cared about me & actually smiled & laughed.

VelvetSpoon · 12/05/2013 08:13

Moan I do have some single friends...they're the ones who are too busy to see me on my birthday!

I'm definitely not organising a party, I did that last year for my 40th, went to a lot of trouble, and about a quarter (if that) of the people invited turned up. It was hugely stressful and I didn't enjoy it at all...never again. I'll have the DSs here next weekend so we'll get something nice for dinner and hopefully that will jog their memory to get me a card :)

JulietteMontague · 12/05/2013 08:37

Velvet I'm with you on this. I gave up taking a day off work years ago as it was just more time to wallow. I've found the only way is to ignore it or do something completely different. Whitewater rafting was a recent one, it blew the focus away and there were no couples. Is there something alternative you could do?

VelvetSpoon · 12/05/2013 09:05

Juliette I've honestly always loved my birthday til last year, I think last year it was a combination of being 40, and all that represents, and also the stress of organising a party completely on my own that most of the invitees didn't attend. I think if I can get over the slight disappointment of not going out on the day, or being in any way made a fuss of (because I am a terrible attention seeker...only child) I'll be fine. Not sure what I can do - whitewater rafting prob not adviseable as I can't swim and am scared of water Grin. There's a tiny chance I might see C, depending on jetlag, other commitments etc, but not pinning my hopes on that. If that doesn't happen, I'll just be at work on the day, then at home with the boys in the evening. I might allow myself permission to break the diet if things get really bad though Grin

OhWesternWind · 12/05/2013 09:18

Yes absolutely no dieting on your birthday Velvet! I usually end up going out for a birthday curry with the dc, good fun and no stress, bit special but not ott.

JulietteMontague · 12/05/2013 09:31

Velvet yes to cake at least. You buy it, you light it, you eat it Grin

OhWesternWind · 12/05/2013 09:50

What did Talent Show have to say Nora? How very weird. They're all coming out of the woodwork at the moment.

KinNora · 12/05/2013 10:23

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggg

Morning everyone, I feel a bit fragile. Memo to self - don't try to keep up with the youngsters.

Velvet you need to do something very self-indulgent on your birthday, no dieting.

OWW as far as I can recall, and bearing in mind I was really rather drunk when I read it, he said something like 'I suppose it must be my turn to email you'.

KirstyWirsty · 12/05/2013 10:32

Morning all!! Well therockclimber and I have the most amazing chemistry together that I have ever experienced .. He picked me up and we went for a drink , dinner, a couple more drinks and then I invited him home .. He is very sensual and gorgeous and we both just click. I am going hillwalking today withlovingfreedom and he is going climbing and then we are reconvening at his place tonight to watch Dr zhivago ( as my dd's name is Lara and I have never seen it and it is one of his favourite films) and eat pizza and have a sleepover :)

KinNora · 12/05/2013 10:39

That sounds fantastic Kirsty, have a lovely time tonight.

JulietteMontague · 12/05/2013 10:49

Wow Kirsty that sounds fantasic! How wonderful, really pleased for you Grin

Kin I'm sure they are all affected by the moon or something

ike1 · 12/05/2013 11:27

Kin ...oh the romance of that e-mail...Kirst you lucky, lucky moo. Right Velv get thy self down to the local spa/beauty salon for a facial/massage or whatever you fancy...then home for prosecco and cake. x

Pomegranatenoir · 12/05/2013 11:35

kirsty wowzer that sounds amazing!!! Enjoy it

jules love the sound of dutchie!!

oww you are one very strong woman. You are doing an amazing job and don't ever forget it.

kin want some alka seltzer??

velvet I understand your birthday angst. It is still a little while away so you have got time to shape it into something you would like to do. I hate anything that deviates from the norm now be it birthdays, Christmas, bank holidays. Just fills me with dread.

Big waves to everyone else

OhWesternWind · 12/05/2013 12:18

How are things with you Pom? Hope work is still going well, and you're feeling brighter. "Special" days can be so hard sometimes but I think it does get better.

Well, good, flirtatious stuff from Indie. He's had a drastic haircut apparently so hope I will recognise him tonight. Not going out tomorrow as I can't get a babysitter - teenagers are all on exams - wondering what will happen after September when my old reliables go off to uni. Need to find some more cheap ones but not sure how, no other ones on my street ... Any ideas?

Pomegranatenoir · 12/05/2013 13:16

Hello oww work is going really well. I am enjoying it a lot and being pushed. Love mon - fri but still wobble bit of a weekend but every week seems better. Really want to go out but plans keep getting cancelled. Think I need a network of single friends but most of mine are married and lead very active lives.

Glad it's going well with indie. You have done a brilliant job of forging through all the rubbish that has been put in your way. You should be proud.

Babysitter wise - could you ask your current sitters if they know of any? Might have friends with younger siblings??

JulietteMontague · 12/05/2013 13:38

For the avoidance of crash carp, tell me all will be well here even though I really am not at all sure. Dutch has not been in touch since the email on Friday evening. I know he was away until yesterday back home in the evening. He'll be busy at home, but should have been in touch by now. I did say not to Skype every day as its a big time commitment, we don't text each other so not missing that. But he is usually consistent and this is what happens just before relationship vanishers, vanish. I have to ignore the silence, don't I.

KinNora · 12/05/2013 13:46

Juliette yes, you do have to ignore the silence. What would you say to one of us ? some men sometimes have a different view of contact than we do, I think sometimes once they feel kind of established or secure in a relationship, they don't see a problem with not keeping in touch all the time.
Don't make me run with the crash carp, I am mucho fragile and I haven't had my emergency Irn Bru yet.