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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

newish partner called me a disgusting bitch....its got to be the end hasn't it?

120 replies

KidderminsterKate · 04/05/2013 19:53

...

OP posts:
whattodoo · 04/05/2013 20:07

Did you say "pardon me"?

I'd ditch him, to be honest. Either he should have said something (un-insulting) at the time or not at all.

Not acceptable to speak to you like that.

Nagoo · 04/05/2013 20:07

run away

ouryve · 04/05/2013 20:07

Good grief, yes. You can pretty much say he's failed at the application form stage.

Original poster
KidderminsterKate · 04/05/2013 20:07

just mulling it over......I really want him to realise it was not on to speak to me like that.

OP posts:
Thisisaeuphemism · 04/05/2013 20:07

Jesus, he is a major twat.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 04/05/2013 20:07

Yeah...time for a re think.

SingSongMummy · 04/05/2013 20:08

God yes, get away from him. Sounds like lots of anger simmering beneath the surface!

Spidermama · 04/05/2013 20:08

Sorry KidderminsterKate. That's really shocking. He's clearly got a nasty streak. You don't want to risk having someone like him around if he treats you like this alcohol or no alcohol.

Get rid.

Thisisaeuphemism · 04/05/2013 20:08

I wouldn't bother re educating him, just get rid of him.

ShatnersBassoon · 04/05/2013 20:10

Ditch him. You have to imagine how he'd cope if you were ill or you in some other way needed him to man up and help with something slightly unpleasant. He's enraged by a guff, he's a nasty waste of space.

interalia · 04/05/2013 20:10

Um, my politest response to that would be 'get the fuck out of my house'.

If someone spoke to me like that they would not be sleeping in my bed that night or ever again.

There's no point even trying to reason with him.

scottishmummy · 04/05/2013 20:11

and now he's sulking?tell him to fuck the fuck off

Original poster
KidderminsterKate · 04/05/2013 20:11

its been a very slow burning relationship......dont want him round kids and they've not met him and I'm quite glad about this now.

Should I call him or wait for him to call me?

OP posts:
flowery · 04/05/2013 20:11

"Why on earth wouldn't it be?"

Yes that. And you should not have apologised when he spoke to you like that- that was the time to kick him out.

Original poster
KidderminsterKate · 04/05/2013 20:13

yes he's sulking.....didn't even mention it this morning before he went to work.

he finds it hard to say sorry or admit he's wrong

OP posts:
SugarPasteGreyhound · 04/05/2013 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LemonPeculiarJones · 04/05/2013 20:15

Either I guess (who calls who). Just make sure you won't be swayed by his protestations of stress etc.

Don't let him try to make it a debate - just explain to him that the relationship is over because you never want to be with someone who treats you with such disrespect.

It can only get worse if you hang around.

Restorer · 04/05/2013 20:15

I think if i's a newish relationship you can just leave it. If he's sulking so doesn't call/text and you don't either, that's the job done!

AKissIsNotAContract · 04/05/2013 20:15

Yes dump him. I have an ex like this. He didn't see women as real people with normal functions.

Fart on his head, then ditch him.

defineme · 04/05/2013 20:16

It's the shouting and the intent. My dh and I say stuff like that jokingly to each other and have a laugh about our awful wind problems...Seriously saying it though about a fart-he's got to go. At least you found out when it was newish.
If he does it now he's really not going to change. Do you really want someone that's supposed to love you thinking those thoughts about you, let alone voicing them. You deserve to be adored. If it's new it's not supposed to be hard work.
If he wigs out about a stir fry and a fart, what's he going to do to you when something serious happens?

LemonPeculiarJones · 04/05/2013 20:16

Actually I agree with SugarPaste. A text. Exactly that. There is nothing else to say.

SugarPasteGreyhound · 04/05/2013 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nehru · 04/05/2013 20:18

Bin.

SoulTrain · 04/05/2013 20:18

Seriously, get rid. DH and I call each other offensive things like this but PURELY in jest.

A friend once went out with a bloke who lost his rag with her for leaving a skid mark in her toilet once. I told her this is mental and she wouldn't have it, he later revealed his true colours as a nasty bastard.

fastdriver · 04/05/2013 20:19

There is nothing to do here except dump him. You said you want him to realise it was out of order but that's not the point. The point is that you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who speaks to you like that so he's got to go.

Whether this demonstrates to him that the way he spoke to you was wrong or not doesn't matter. He won't be your problem any more.

Even if he prostrated himself and apologised there is no scope for a future with this man unless you want more of the same. He will get worse. If he shouts at someone for farting an hour after they've done it, so early in the relationship it wouldn't take much for this to escalate to physical violence.

Dump him asap and don't look back.