Dating thread no 52

[BillMasen]

The first one started by a bloke?

Hmmm Hey that's a tricky one, I think that although you feel your reply is callous, most people prefer to know where they stand even though it may hurt a bit to know someone isn't into you. How about this, as a slightly softer version? "Thank you, I'm very flattered to be asked out, but unfortunately I'm going to decline as I'm not sure we are right for each other and I don't want to waste your time. Lots of luck for the future, Hey"

Hey I tend to just ignore, if the chat's been fairly lengthy. Maybe that's rude, but I always feel a bit funny making it clear that their chat has been found wanting. Or you look like a time waster who was happy to email away but doesn't want to meet.

Although if other signs are good I also wouldn't turn someone down on the basis of bland chat alone, some of my best dates have been with people where the email chat hasn't been that great, whereas the worst always seem to follow the best online conversations...

Thank you everyone! That makes sense and its always helpful to know you're feeling something normal, but also sorry you've been here too. Not really feeling like texting with Indie tonight, think I will lie low for the evening but don't want to do a flaky blowing hot and cold thing.

Hey sometimes the chat's not that good but the date is great! You really, really can't tell til you meet them.

I've just sent a message very like the one you suggested Tigsy, thanks.

It's interesting what you say about the chat vs date thing stranger and OWW. D'oh, maybe I should have said yes! I'm kind of thinking that I want my first few dates to be with people I feel a click with on the chat. Then after learning from bitter experience that it doesn't translate to RL I will widen my net.

I have just asked someone out on a date. Eek. Am now waiting for karma to bite me on the ass and send me a 'thanks but no thanks message'.

What did he say, Hey? Don't think I've ever asked anyone, you are brave!

Feeling a bit shaken up by these LM thoughts. Really not sure what to do now.

OWW, you're regretting the good things about him and your relationship but sometimes the good memories become more 'real' and sparkly and technicolour than the reality of it. It's just a passing, difficult few hours, things will seem better soon. Big hug chuck.

oww I was just thinking yesterday how well you are doing with the split. And you still are. You have to let these feelings out, deal with them, cry if you need to and then move on with more determination. It's all part of the process I think!

You have done amazingly well with everything that you have had to deal with. Don't be so tough on yourself. And you have got plans with the lovely indie! That's amazing but if he doesn't do it for you then you can move on to the next. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have had some serious success on the dating front so you will defo not be short of offers

Silence. Hmmm, we will see. It's the first time I've asked someone out in my whole life! I gad a rare brave moment.

Just try and accept that you are having some sad feelings OWW, you don't need to do anything, you will feel better again, it's just something that's been waiting to come out, and so needs to. Sorry though, these sad moments are shit and awful and can really take your breath away when you expect them least x

OWW you do nothing about the thoughts, if necessary you replace them with a few reminders of LM reality. Here's some starters

Wouldn't reply to texts for days - you were left feeling shit
Didn't call you back - you felt shit
Made you feel second priority when he made arrangements with little friend and you were left feeling shit
Lapped up the attention of his females on bookface - you felt shit
You couldn't rely on him if and when you really needed him (maybe, maybe not - you felt shit
You took a day or couple of half days off work because you felt so bad at his lack of contact you couldn't go in to work
Told his bookface friends where he was when he should have been with you instead of manning up.
Said the right things, didn't do them

Good points
He made you laugh, the sex was good. Plenty of other men will be able to do both.

.dont know y i come on here every1 i meet really likes me we get on really well an some how no1 ever values me enough maybe i am to nice an understanding they think i am weak well tbh u woman r making me weak all i want is the best 4 my boy an that means me being happy , i do anything 4 my boy therefore do anything 4 the rite woman y dont any of u appreciate a guy who has never ever cheated never ever raised his hand 2 a woman,ffs should i keep trying an keep getting let down as i got a very big heart an it gets hurt too easy

...but along with that gem ..some things that really did make me lol today:

'I am returning to POF like a dog returning to its own vomit'
and
'Panning for gold dust in a tin mine'...

The last two are sentiments we could all have agreed with times eh huns??

Thank you for being so kind and understanding. I feel silly about all this, I really do. Most of the time I'm actually glad I'm out of the thing with LM as much of it was no good at all. I'm not going to get all nostalgic about it - there were good bits but there was much more shite.

My mum said the other day it's no wonder I'm on my own and I wonder if there's truth in that.

Oh blimey, Reappearing Engineer has Re-Reappeared and sent me a text. This is weird - he asked me out on Friday, I said yes. Then silence all weekend, and now a text saying how was my weekend with no mention of going out. Odd.

Text off Indie, really nice. Not sure what to do here. Could do with a good seeing to, though.

Thank you for being so kind and understanding. I feel silly about all this, I really do. Most of the time I'm actually glad I'm out of the thing with LM as much of it was no good at all. I'm not going to get all nostalgic about it - there were good bits but there was much more shite.

My mum said the other day it's no wonder I'm on my own and I wonder if there's truth in that.

Oh blimey, Reappearing Engineer has Re-Reappeared and sent me a text. This is weird - he asked me out on Friday, I said yes. Then silence all weekend, and now a text saying how was my weekend with no mention of going out. Odd.

Text off Indie, really nice. Not sure what to do here. Could do with a good seeing to, though.

Ike that dog vomit one is one of my favourite Bible quotes. Useful in many situations not just PoF.

Sorry for double posting.

at times

Thank you Juliette. Exactly.

Right, I have wept like a sad willow on my Marks and Spencer's pillow, sent a provocative text to Indie and am now feeling somewhat restored.

In a financial quandry ...wonder what folk think. Having exhausted the nether regions of POF and Match and found them sorely wanting...I received a message on GS 2 weeks ago from a guy who I reckon I would get on well with....and though not immediately in love with him looks wise ..he is certainly strage looking enough to have me interested. But really begrudge paying £30 membership as there is fuck all else on there..he hasnt been on there for 3 days now though ...what would you do?

I would get someone on here who's got a membership to message him with some way of contacting you. Maybe. What sort of strange?

If it helps at all Ike I'm doing the universally recognised mime for 'puking' at the thought of GSM men

Sigh. I have a membership.

Oh that woud be hilarious!! My mate fancies you...but she's too tight arsed to pay the membership!! Hahahah

Ike I don't think him being offline is a bad sign at all, it probably means he's not mining the sweetie trolley every night. Did you respond with one of those auto response messages?

Shall I give you his username Kin you can tell me what you think?

Hello, you don't know me but I have a wild mate who is unlikely to drop her drawers for you, she thinks you look attractively strange and would like to chat.

Go on then ( they're all tossers, you know )