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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The train has departed Loserville - Next stop Happy Town.

996 replies

LoserNoMore · 23/04/2013 19:06

Just went to post on my other thread but it's full already!

I'll attempt to link it but I'm on my phone so probably won't work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1726699-Last-train-to-Loserville-Part-2

Excuse the cheesy title, my brain won't work. Just going to read last few replies on old thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 17:56

Jax, still haven't looked at the wallpaper since I bought it!

I might attempt it this weekend. Ex has girls tomorrow so will have empty house and nothing else to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 17:58

It is a long wait imtheonlyone!

OP posts:
lazarusb · 10/05/2013 18:47

Glad it went well. Fingers crossed for you. Sending full-time vibes your way Smile
Thank you all for your kind wishes - fourth one since Tuesday tomorrow Hmm Last one next Wednesday - can't come soon enough!

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 19:33

Thanks Lazarus, bet you're looking forward to the end of exams.

So ex isn't moving in with OW now. I told him if I find out he has taken dd's to her house then god help him. He then told me he's not moving in and he isn't seeing her anymore. I spoke to his sister and she promised the dd's would be at hers with ex. I'm just going to drop them off now. I don't want them to go. I feel empty and sad about everything tonight. Tomorrow would be my due date with little baby I lost last year. Things have changed so much in such a short time.

Sorry for the whinge.

OP posts:
pmgkt · 10/05/2013 19:47

Poor you, that would be a sad day even if you were still together. Thinking of you.
On a different note, your ex changes his mind more than his underpants, now not moving in? What about the baby, or have I missed any update on that.

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 10/05/2013 20:31

ah yes, wasnt OW pregnant? That has mysteriously vanished, along with OW.

I am sorry for your loss LNM, it is a sad day regardless of your situation. Try to do something nice for you over the weekend, go out with friends, cinema, pub, lunch, dinner, or gym and a swim.

Or go get your hair/nails done. But do something nice just for you. x

lazarusb · 10/05/2013 21:19

I know how you feel about tomorrow, I had early mcs and found their due dates hard. Try and do something nice tomorrow, a walk or lunch...just a little something just for you Flowers

CabbageLeaves · 10/05/2013 21:20

The memories remind you of what you have lost don't they. It's time to make new memories and they will contain happy ones LNM. I found it very hard to let go of the family life I had hoped, expected and planned. Embracing my new life has been a struggle but I really can honestly say I am happy and at peace now. It isn't fast but it does slowly get better. You have to consciously force yourself into a different mind frame. I did spend time moping and grieving (tbh think you do need to do this) but always made myself do something active/different (long walk with dog or buy unusual ingredients and cook something unfamiliar)...anything to stop those intrusive thoughts.

I think wallpapering could be your activity. Grin. could go either way of course...visions of you wrapped in soggy paper sat crying in your house

swallowedAfly · 10/05/2013 21:23

i hate to say it but it was probably her call to not see him. i don't get the impression he is that decisive and able to choose something that leaves him without a table for his feet to be under.

glad interview went well.

early night? tomorrow is another day.

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 21:57

I didn't get drawn in on his "I'm not with her anymore" speech. I couldn't care less right now. He hasn't mentioned her pregnancy either. Who knows what's going on in his sordid little life. As long as it doesn't affect the dd's I don't care.

He sent a text just after I dropped dd's off "I do know what day it is tomorrow, I hope you'll be ok. I've fucked up big time, I should be there comforting you. Is there any way back?"

I don't feel like doing anything this weekend although soggy wallpaper may be an option, Cabbage!

Popping a couple of those Solpadol I had last night is looking likely. Best nights sleep I've had in weeks.

OP posts:
imtheonlyone · 10/05/2013 22:00

Thanks To you lnm. Tomorrow will be hard - keep yourself busy - wallpapering sounds like a challenge Grin I've done it with DP but not sure I could do it on my own!!! So well done you!

As everyone has said, you will have good days and bad ones. Make the most of the good ones and cherish them - they will help you through the bad ones.

Hitting the wine tonight - it's been a long bloody week despite only being a four day week!!!! Wine

imtheonlyone · 10/05/2013 22:02

Just seen your latest message - at least he's realised he's fucked up!!! But asking again for a way back?!?!?! Keep strong, he has realised far far too late

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 22:07

Thanks imtheonlyone, it's too little too late, you're right. I'm not even going to dignify his latest text with an answer.

OP posts:
CabbageLeaves · 10/05/2013 22:13

I'm with SaF. He's been dumped and is feeling sorry for himself

The most honourable thing he could do is act with dignity and support the mother of his child to parent separately.

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 22:24

I know, Cabbage, I know. :(

OP posts:
CabbageLeaves · 10/05/2013 22:31

I'm sorry LNM.

Are you going to lie in tomorrow?

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 10/05/2013 22:46

It's ok ,

Yen I probable will.

OP posts:
CabbageLeaves · 10/05/2013 23:06

Hope you have a peaceful sleep

skyebluesapphire · 10/05/2013 23:13

Fingers crossed about the job. I'm sorry that tomorrow will be a difficult day for you. Maybe set some time aside to light a candle and remember.

Definitely keep your ex at a distance for now. This is about what you want from now on, not what he wants.

lowercase · 11/05/2013 01:29

Hello love, just caught up with everything.
I'm glad it's sinking in for him...he's showing some human traits at last.
Here's to the rising of his conscience, long may it remain.

Tray nice bath, meditation, foods you like, crap telly...
The candle is a nice idea.

Hope you find some rest and peace this weekend. X

lowercase · 11/05/2013 01:30

Try a nice bath.

Don't bath in a tray.
Too messy.

CabbageLeaves · 11/05/2013 06:58

I thought the tray was a reference to her nose diving into the shower

Morning LNM. We are here with you. Lots and lots of people thinking of you today

swallowedAfly · 11/05/2013 07:18

do what you need to do to mark today. it's ok to mark it and 'feel' you know? that said if it feels right to go out, distract and keep busy then go for it.

it does sound like it's sinking in a bit for him finally. trouble is whether that will last or is just the latest stop on the way iyswim?

themidwife · 11/05/2013 07:34

Sorry today will be so difficult for you & you're right not to reply - he had sex with her - you have absolute proof of that - whatever else he says about her is likely to change on a weekly basis!

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 11/05/2013 08:22

I hope you have a lovely lie in today. Thinking of you, however you decide to mark the day.

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