Swallowed- lol. No it doesn't involve keeping my business. Although today he even said I could keep the business as long as I involved him in it. Om will never agree to this in a million years.
Caja- dh would happily do all the counselling. I'm pretty sure I could get another job but obv he would have an eagle eye on me always. Ie checking my phone, emails. He's said I can't keep a pin lock on my phone. Or that he needs to know the pin.
Offred- the harm in simply doing nothing is I HAVE to work out what to do re business. I can't just not go in whilst I figure it all out. Om will have to replace me/find someone to take over my role. He can't do it on his own. Plus om needs to know where he stands, he's left his house and move into his mothers. Is on the sofa right now. I know that's not my problem as he should have sorted all that himself. He was never going to live with me anyway so is not dependant on me for a roof, but he wants to know if I want to have a future with him and he can then take steps accordingly.
I am ready for counselling definitely. I need to sort all this out and find the guts to do the right thing. However scary that sounds.
AF- I think once all the shit has come off the fan, dh would be more reasonable and I think he would be ok with work. He only hit me once although I'm not saying that's ok. He says he's sure he will be able to bring back the love again.
Squidgy- do you really think there is a possibility of a future with om after he has lied so much to me? He's told me pretty much everything now, and is really sorry. I just wish he had come clean years ago.
Despite the lies about his dw and Dc, he couldn't do enough for me. He's been amazing the past few years and really helped me so much.
I am considering him to be a possibility but the trust issue is a major factor. He's nothing like dh. Has never demanded anything of me or tried to control me. He encouraged me to put dcs into private school even though I was worried about the money and said we will figure it out.
My name- one of the main reasons why I turned to om was lack of attention and friendship etc. dh was a workaholic. He had no time for me and Dc. I had pre-eclampsia and a section, then pnd. But I did everything a-z at home alone. Feeds, nappies, baths cooking cleaning etc. it was a tough time. Om came along at this time.
Dh left/got let go from his job and only since then has he started to be a bit more hands on with dcs and hw. He works nights now so still not there like he should be.
I'm sure if I gave it a chance I could find the friendship with dh again. But that's not enough for a good marriage I know that.
And you made an excellent point re how will it be in a years time. My biggest fear is that it'll be the same but ill be more dependant on him.