A happy update from TIL

[TisILeclerc]

She and the children are where they need to be now and she is very grateful for all the support and encouragement she has received. I hope very much that she will return here but for now she?s intending to lie a little bit low.

Please just be sensitive to the fact that this is a huge, life changing decision for her and I think she would like it toned down a bit wrt pompoms and congratulations. I hope very much that this will change as the days pass and she becomes accustomed to the incredulous joy of freedom. She is already sounding positive about life where she is right now.

This time they really are ?safe? in the way that everybody hoped previously.

NB I have not used any names in this for a reason. Please be aware of security as she is understandably very worried about him locating her

Thank you, Tis. I'm so glad to hear that.

Wonderful news :)

So glad you are getting good RL support x

Good to see you in good spirits GS

Take a look at your own arms and hands sometime. Those arms have carried three babies around, done everything for them, those hands have done many household tasks, done complicated work tasks, have taken the hands of your children to lead them away from danger and fear. Your own arms are pretty strong, and capable. Don't think you have to look elsewhere for strength when you have your own.

GS, lovely to hear from you. You truly are an inspiration.

Well done GS.

What juxsaid

Wonderful to hear from you, GS! You truly are an inspiration and have changed your DC's lives for the better more than you know. Wonderful post from Snazzy - please take heed.

Always good to hear from you GS.

Nice to hear from you GS. I'm sure it's still tough but (whispered woohoo) you're free.

Just found/realised who this thread was about.
Was a big old lurker, but thought of you regularly.

Am so happy that you are happy and safe, I even tried to do my happy dance, but due to my dodgy hip I looked like a constipated penguin (according to OH, who is also very glad you're safe)

Sorry I don't want it to sound like we were treating you like a soap, just your story, and then your strength shocked and then impressed us.

Its important to know thats its far more complex than being about stupidity hun.... You very bright brave lady... no certainly not stupid... but one that we all recognise and felt too xxx

Hello GS -- very good to hear from you. So glad you are getting sleep. It makes a lot of difference and I think it's significant. Think of the 'little' things like that when you feel wobbly.

You can share your feelings all of them, even those that you think you need to censor with your support worker. It would be most unusual not to feel the way you do. Very few people who are normal (like yourself and the rest of us here) are able to walk away from an intimate relationship no matter how far awry it all went without having conflicting feelings. Feeling the way you do shows how completely normal you are.

Are you still seeing your counsellor? There is absolutely the ideal place to talk about that in rl.

Do you have rl support?

Sometimes the feeling that you miss something is masking the feeling of general nervousness about the present or the future.

It's more a hankering after the feeling of having familiar life than wanting the specific people or things from that familiar life that you have left behind.

I don't know if you've seen this thread GS - Mourning my normal family life. It may strike a chord with you.

Just a quick hi and well-wishing from me, GS! I've only just seen this thread and am, of course, delighted for you and your DC. Thanks to TIL for the thread, too.

There's lots of very good advice here. I'm confident you'll make good use of it :)

After reading an upsetting article in the Guardian yesterday, of a woman who realised too late that her husband's version of events was not true (I won't link, it is harrowing), I was in tears again thinking of how much you have done for the sake of yourself and your kids, GS.

Thank you for wondering, and letting a little bit of doubt in, and questioning, and questioning again, and coming back over and over to say, 'Is he right?' and thank you thank you thank you for realising.

I'm sure you don't want me to be dramatic about this, but I feel
time I have to say thank you, because, with a bit of luck (if that is the right word), your kids might never really need to understand the enormity of what you have done. They might never say thank you, but I will on their behalf, if that isn't too presumptuous.

I know, I really do know that this isn't the end of a story, that you all have a whole rich life ahead of you, with ups and downs and twists and turns, and what ifs and maybes and comings and goings, but I still want to mark what you have done so far and honour you, for my own sake as well.

I'm not waving pom poms, or maybe I am a bit. I'm just literally actually in my bedroom on my knees with gratitude that you (and women like you) have stood up for your kids in the face of awfulness, and I wanted to tell you. I hope that is not too much for you. Feel free to tell me to shut it if I've overstepped.

oh building, you gorgeous person

I saw that article, building, and thought of GS's exH (what wonderful 3 letters to type!!!) and Ds3 falling down the stairs.

Argh, pressed post by mistake. Wanted to add that what building says is superb and so, so true.

You deserve thanks, even if the DC never realise the enormity of what you've done and, more importantly, the enormity of why you had to do it. So THANK YOU, wonderful woman.