Those of you in healthy relationships - is this reaction abnormal?

[kimberlina]

I'm so confused I'm not sure what's normal and what isn't. Basically last week dh asked me to go to the post office to post a parcel for him. I'm not sure why I had to as we both work ft but I duly obliged.

Today he asked whether I'd checked the signature as he's not had a refund. I replied that I'd only posted it first class as he hadn't said to get it tracked. He basically replied I was an idiot and why else would he have checked that I could go to the post office. I said I just thought he wanted it weighing to check. the right postage

He then stormed off muttering that I can't be trusted to do anything and hasn't spoken to me since!

Is this how your dp's would react. If it was the other way round I'd have said "oh I meant for it to go recorded but sorry if I didn't make it clear. Still it's too late to change now. Let's hope it gets there"

Am I being stupid or has he over reacted. The parcel is worth £20 by the way

Yes af and others definitely right, sorry for the bad advices re thread showing. my dh sometimes over reacts and makes me feel idiotic but as af said, he apologises a lot, explains why he over reacted and we forget about it, not the same situation here.

Is your posting name still the same one, kimberlina? If so, I'd be tempted to ask MNHQ to remove this thread (after saving it) and to change your posting name for the future. Just to be safe if he knows you use MN and your posting name.

PS - the shop might have had the same tracked returns policy as ebay. It's not important - if he knew it mattered, he should have made it clear to you.

a bloke that is "anti bf" ?

I like him less and less

agree re name change if necessary

I've not posted for a long time. More of a lurker really. But perhaps I should get it deleted and nc. I have my answer now and some good advice and links too. Thanks to all who've taken the time to post.

kim, please do look at the links at the top of the emotional abuse support thread

Don't show him this thread, start preparing to get out. I second AF - people in normal relationships do not feel like this.

Find a reason not to do anything like that he asks u to do or just tell him you think he is being an arse. Which you do depends on the dynamics of your relationship.

AF i've had a quick look at the ea links. And I have to say you're spot on. Thanks! I'm off to read in more detail

Change your name and come back to the board on a new thread when you've read them. Lots of experience here to help you.

We will be here if you need us, kim

and the ea thread is superb for support

there is a new one just starting, so let it settle for a day or two, then introduce yourself

I guarantee you will not regret it

Say 'I'm afraid I'm not a mind reader, you complete DICK HEAD!!!'

Then LTB.

Total over reaction. I might be a bit pissed off if it was me but not enough to ignore DP for days!!! Not a sign of a healthy relationship I'm afraid.

Good luck. Recognising is the first step, and it's a big one. He had failed in his attempt to control you, the proof of that is that you can see his emotional abuse for what it is, hear him tell it and it's all your fault, well done for not letting the creep get the better of you. as others have said, read through the ea threads, speak to wa, you can did this.

oh kim I post things for my DH often, he specifies if he needs it tracked/recorded/special delivery. If he just said would I mind posting something, it would go 2nd class.

You wont win, because you cant win. Please follow the advice you have been given. You need to leave.

I would put £20 on the table and get the hell out of this relationship, it would be money well spent.