Dating thread no 51

[JulietteMontague]

All tales of online and real life dating here!

Quick bit of advice needed, Showbiz wants my home address so he can send me a present. I'm minded not to give my address out to anyone - do you think that's a bit paranoid ?

Kin no I don't and I wouldn't. It's not necessary, and imo a bit creepy. A lot of people would do it, a lot of people give out a lot of information they shouldn't imo. Does he know your surname? If so, depending on how unusual it is if knows that and your approximate location he could probably work it out anyway. I am super cautious on this stuff, but then I used to work in security.

Not meaning that I know 'better' just that it's ingrained in me.

Kn, I dont recall exactly what the situation is between you & showbiz, but I agree with Juliette, it sounds creepy and manipulative.

It 'feels' designed to put you on the back foot because if you refuse then you risk offending him by rejecting his offer of a gift

(Kin, not Kn )

Kin his style is 'worldly' and possibly 'old school' so it could be that he wouldn't realise this is not on. But, he has consistently tried to insert himself (behave now) into areas of your life you are not comfortable with. This feels like another attempt whether it's deliberate or not.

Oh god

Now Mr B is texting wanting a second date.

why why why why why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is it that the ones I'm not interested in do the very sweet, politely chasing me, texting firt, asking me out thing?

He IS actually nice and intelligent and fanciable enough to go out with again. So that makes this decision difficult and weird.

The sex being a bit lacking and my cba-ness to teach him anything is the only prob really...

gah.

I think people who are used to being in control and setting the terms in relationships are often not consciously pursuing those strategies...it's just 'instinctive' to them.
If you call them on it they seem genuinely perplexed.

Then again as people get into their 40's and 50's you'd expect a little more insight & self awareness...wouldnt you??

texting first*

Kin he's a nice guy who you have met and want to have sex with - why not?

I mean, don't, if you really don't feel comfortable... but I wouldn't have a problem with it. Presents are nice. he's a nice bloke.

I think theres a lot of overthinking here... just shag him

Lubey, it seems to prove that treating them mean does keep them keen.

When you genuinely cant be arsed they come after you, but when you are trying desperately to play it cool when you actually are keen...well I find that very hard to pull off

Lubey second time around he might be better, if not you could still tell him what's needed and see what the response is. He might be a very quick learner and surprise you

Yeah maybe Juliette. I suppose it would be nice to have another distraction while I await an actual properly decent favourite sex evaaahhh shagathon with BC. (isn't it June yet? ffs)

Could be a nice distraction to make the time til June go by faster?

I was hoping to arrange a date with Shorty at the weekend as children seeing ex's family, but he can't do and has suggested an evening in London next week. Am not sure whether I can be bothered - would cost me £30 or so in babysitting and travel, couldn't meet til 8.30ish, it's about an hour's travel each way.... without any guarantee of a good time. I don't know much about him, just exchanged a few emails but he seems witty and intelligent and not been inappropriate at all - rare! Is a dilemma....

Oh fgs.

It's obviously one of those weeks again

Just got a text from an ex... on his way over to my town wants to know if I want to catch up while he's here. (he means have a sip of coffee then shag)

actually I do (damn you libido!!!!) but I don't think i can be arsed at this short notice and I still have work to do

Blimey that's got to be a record. From CBA to changing my mind to shag ready in 24 minutes.

He'll be here in five...

Thank you everyone, he does know my surname and those of you who know my first name know that it probably makes me easier to identify, I might ask him to send it to work instead, either that or keep it until we see each other again. By nature I'm quite easy to trust in others, I'm attempting to be a bit more circumspect.

Ahhhhhh...... that's better. Jeez. :o bout goddamn time.

KIn getting it delivered to work sounds good then in that case.

Bloody hell that's some quick work there Lubey .

I don't think Showbiz has any dubious intentions, I'm just slightly uncomfortable with giving out details like that to a man I've met twice, who I really know very little about, I'm under no illusions as to how easy I am to locate via t'internet as my profession, forename and surname are all pretty distinctive as a combination.

I've been 'matched' on okc with someone who describes himself thus, 'A little bit of Spartacus and Che Guevara and a Raven.
Sensitive and emotionally fluent. A Midland version of Edward Scissorhands.'
Don't buy a hat.

Nora as you've met him and feel reasonably comfortable with him AND he lives a distance away, I don't think it's too much of a problem. He's not going to turn up on your doorstep is he? (Or is he??).

Have got into a dreadful situation with my mum about her extremely erratic behaviour and how she is treating the children. This is really horrible, so many echoes of abusive ex and his behaviour. Things have deteriorated very quickly this week. I think there could well be some dementia-type issues involved here but it is impossible to discuss with her. She has just e-mailed to say she has left a letter on my bed. I am dreading reading it as I know it is going to be foul, full of allegations about me and the children. She has made allegations to the doctor about how I treat my daughter and all sorts of things, which are not true. Yesterday she made the children get on a bus then wouldn't get on herself and they had to get home on the bus by themselves which they have never done before, including crossing a busy main road by themselves. There is worse but I don't want to write it here.

I am at my wits' end to know what to do here. She has a partner, but they don't live together and she is very unpleasant to him too, calls him all sorts of names and is downright nasty to him, but he just buries his head in the sand and avoids her for a few days until she calms down.

Sorry that was a bit of a rant but I am dreading seeing this letter. I know it's going to be horrible.

God that sounds dreadful OWW does she have any history of mental health problems ?

Oh oww hope you are okay...

The dread is often worse than the deed. At least I hope it is for you xxx

(The Midlands' answer to Edward Scissorhands is looking for
'... a warrior. A Goddess. A Joan of Arc type. But, subservient to the Green Man warrior.' Fuck me )

Sorry about the kisses - how terribly un MN of me!!

She will admit to having SAD so is currently in ADs I think but there's a lot more to it than that. She's been "difficult" and "hot tempered" to quote my late gran

Had emergency call off dd. leaving now. Really bad. Shit