Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

Keep posting on here though Rainy!

Winefiend :o

My cunning and evil plans is working

Rainy - if we all seem a bit cynical, that's because most of us have been on dates where we were all excited about the fact we'd 'met' someone lovely and great and interesting and funny and attractive - and then when we met there just wasn't a spark. That just happens sometimes - it's mutually disappointing, a chemical thing or whatever, but all you could ever really be is friends.

Or sometimes they had used fake pictures, or were only 3'6 tall, or whatever, and we've been disappointed and upset. So we've learned to not assume anything until we've met them, maybe a couple of times, and they turn out to be who they appeared to be by email/phone.

Having said that, though, some people are lucky enough to just meet someone wonderful straight away, and they live happily ever after. We will all be jealous if that happens to you :)

Thanks for the wise words i will take them all on board. He's added me on facebook so I've seen loads of pictures. Only sticking point may be that he's the same height as me. If what I've heard is true then that really means he's two inches shorter.

Wine he may just be playing it cool

In other news, Buffy appears to be living with me. Or at least she's spent 4 of the last 5 nights at mine, has left her toothbrush at mine, will be staying at mine over the weekend as she has some friends kipping in her very small flat, has keys and has left some of her favourite food in the fridge.

Hmm. These things do move a bit fast. I'm bemused. Think we both are.

Well it's kind of self-limiting. She's leaving, we can't get too emotionally attached, so there's like a built-in barrier to stop feelings from getting too strong. We talked about that, we're very affectionate with each other but we're just.. not going to fall in love.

Also, she has a history of leaving the city/country when she's proposed to. Happened twice, two boyfriends proposed, and each time she said no and basically ran away and got herself set up in a new place. She has issues, needs to keep moving on and putting down new roots for a while. Seems kind of odd to me but people are strange.

All this talking of getting emotionally overinvested too early has got me thinking.

How early is too early after you've met someone to feel completely smitten that you want to be together?

There's not as queer as folk, Bant. If it works for the pair of you, then good for you. I wonder if the fact that it's time-limited has meant that it's 'safe' for it to go at a hundred miles an hour - you both know that whatever you do now has no bearing on what will be in the next couple of months, so you're acting without consequences.

Or, she has a habit of getting in deep very quickly, then running when she realises that the other person is seeing the relationship as something more than she thinks it is, hence the unexpected proposals and then moving? If that is the case, it sounds like she's telling you how it is.

Sorry, you didn't ask for opinion. I'm in an analytical mood today.

Lubey, share the cunning plan...

bant this would all seem a bit fast if she wasn't moving back to the states. (understatement!) As it is it's just a kind of hyper fwb-ing - the issues are odd, but as there's no question of it developing into a LTR, then I guess it's easier to accept as you won't have to deal with the issues...

...unless she changes her mind. [evil look]

yay for lubeys evil plan. [highfive]

I'm pissed off with work, a bit annoyed with DS1, missing nameless and joyously looking forwards to DCs going to grandparents on saturday for almost-a-week! (if DS1 doesn't pull something to mean they cant go...)

Choo I think you can feel completely smitten very early on, once you met someone, it's natural if you like someone, they like you, the chemistry is there and so is the sexual tension, and if it's all mutual then you want to be together.

I think what everyone on this thread is warning about, is that however wonderful these feeling are, you only ever really know someone over a period of time and that it's always worth having that knowledge in the back of your mind to balance out the "high". Enjoy all the fabulousness of feeling smitten but don't go planning a happy ever after until you have known someone a while.

Although, in my opinion also and to contradict myself above, i thought I knew my STBXH inside out and he turned out to be the most duplicitous, cheating, self serving bastard ever.

I didn't follow the rule book at all with Mr EA, from when I first messaged him, was totally emotionally invested before we met and here we are 6 months later, so there are always exceptions to every rule!

Tigsy thank you - I am worried I am already too emotionally invested and it is very early days. I only met him a matter of weeks ago.

Sorry to hear about your STBXH.

I have had abusive relationships in the past and am very aware of warning signs but haven't seen any evidence of anything concerning and he has been nothing but lovely so far.

I guess I have to keep my wits about me but at the same time it's very hard not to be a little bit smitten. He is just so lovely.

Choo I would say go for it, enjoy it, nothing wrong with feeling smitten, it's a lovely feeling .... and wait and see what develops. I think even the fact that you are thinking about it, shows that you aware of what's going on and what the red flags would be, if they were ever to appear.

Have fun!

Choo I fell in lust with Mr R&R very quickly. Only recently, 3 months on have I admitted to myself and him that it is more than that.

Bant Similar to Mr OZ and me. I knew he was going to OZ when we met. Made everything easy. Until he had gone.

Are you smitten, ChooChoo?

OWW I am a little, yes! I don't think I have ever been so attracted to someone in my life.

48 was it the same for Mr R&R?

OWW is this date set up then with Mr Veggie? please re-name him soon

48 where as we could have told you it was more than smitten very early on but would you listen?

Flipper... TSSDNCOP

Yep Tigsy it's tomorrow!! I am trying not to get too excited, I need to take my own advice (and everybody else's) as he does seem like a really nice bloke, stuff in common etc etc. It is so easy to get a little bit carried away, so I am glad we're meeting sooner rather than later. I am nervous, though - nice anticipatory nervous, not the angst. I have got out of the swing of dating and need to calm down a bit.

We are going to a quiet country pub. Sounds lovely and no temptation to drink a bit too much as I will be driving.

Will rename him after tomorrow if he's still around . . .

If not, it's on to Mr Cake! Who I like as well, but physically isn't my type as much, not that you can really judge from photos. MrV could potentially really do it for me looks wise . . .

ChooChoo it sounds lovely. Go for it!

OWW Good luck with your date with MrV. I was very sorry to hear about LM by the way - I have trouble keeping up with these threads but have read up. I'm very disappointed in him.

I am going for it. DS is with his dad for Easter so we have the whole weekend together and the first opportunity for Coffee. I am very excited. It has been a VERY long time for me. And if the way he kisses is anything to go by it should be very good.