Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

I love the and just to look at him for a bit

hahahaaa :o

Hmm yes don't fancy two day hangover and WINEDOOM though it has to be said.

Thanks for the crossed fingers. Will need them.

I can't work this bloke out at all, he blows hot and cold all the time. Thank god I'm only interested in his trousersnake.

Good morning! Wine sounds like an amazing weekend but maybe one to leave as a happy memory.

Feeling quite excited and hopeful about dating again! Maybe I'll actually write a profile over the weekend, maybe not, not doing too badly without one. Once again I am getting quite earnest, well-behaved professional blokes, no silly messages or rude pics. Must give off some weird vibe ...

Spring is in the air Hormones are raging on here.

Seeing Mr R&R again tonight. Last chance before he heads off to Yorkshire.

So I am posting this on the behalf of my friend who doesn't use internet forums. Having broken up from the father of her son 12 months ago she is missing sex, her son is only 12 months old and she doesn't want a relationship but would like intimacy. She is thinking of having a friends with benefit arrangement with a guy she has known for about 10 years but he has said that he wants the FWB arrangement to be exclusive as in, she only sleeps with him. Obviously she was asking me for advice on whether this is the norm, and given that I have never done this sort of thing I have no frickin clue what the rules are....

Can anyone shed any light?

x

Hi Rose - hope things are going well for you. How's the job going?

Well, I've never done a FWB thing, but I don't think there are any official rules. As with any relationship, it's a matter of the two people involved coming up with something they are both happy with. Is he proposing to only sleep with her or does he want to have his cake and eat it? Having an exclusive arrangement might be better from a health point of view just in case the protection fails, but could lead to things being a bit more intense emotionally. And if he wants her to do something he's not prepared to offer, I'd take that as a bit of a red flag for him being controlling.

It's fine if she is happy with it Rose and provided he's going to be a reliable fwb. Makes it more casual monogamy really so a relationship more than fwb, but that could still be good. Depends how much she likes him and all that I suppose.

My experience with fwb is that you just don't really mention who else you might see and/or that you don't even have time to see anyone else anyway. So I don't see anything wrong in making it exclusive.

There's a bonus to it too IF they both get tested and get the all clear, and IF she has reliable other contraception, then they can ditch the condoms. Maybe he's thinking along those lines?

Hi Oww, Hope you are OK today?

Thanks for asking after me, life at home is worse than abhorrent. And after a particular incident that happened on the weekend, I am now getting the move expidited (will work all hours possible!). So, I started work Monday, and as much as I feel exhausted already, it's my gateway to freedom!

Thank you for the advice about the friends with benefit thing, I copied and pasted yours and lubey's reply into a facebook message to her ha!

Ok point taken i shall try not to get emotionally involved. He is so sweet though i could do with a nice man.

Sorry things are awful for you at home, Rose. Do you think you'll be in a position to move out soon? It's soul destroying to have to live in that sort of environment, but I am so pleased that it looks like it's only for a short while. Are you safe at home, Rose? I know he can be a bit of a piece of work and it doesn't sound like he is behaving well if you are having incidents.

I'm feeling quite good today, getting a bit excited about the date tomorrow with Mr Veggie (sorry, Lulu). He has sent me his mobile number so I will text him later. He says he is getting excited, haven't told him that I am as well . We will see!

Can we have an addition to the rules?

6 Don't settle for the crumbs!

When are you meeting up with him, Rainy?

Ohmyrainydays, well he could well be a nice man and all be fine. But these types that get so carried away so early, well it's rarely a good sign put it that way.

Definitely don't start happily skipping through the meadow, romantically fantasising and all excited and loved up, at least until you've had a couple of dates... for the meadow is RIDDEN with hidden bear traps and potholes

So yeah... try and keep those dating commandments in mind. And good luck.

The week after next. I can't do evening dates so easily so he's going to take a day off in the week when the kids are back in school. We haven't got a day yet.

Oh that does make it difficult, Rainy, as there will be a lot more messaging etc before you meet and it's easy to feel that you have an emotional connection. I think it's always better to meet sooner rather than later, then you will actually know when you see them whether they are a possibility or not. However nice the messages are, it's no guarantee that you will click in real life.

Could you get a babysitter or something so that you can meet sooner?

Ok i won't ,I'll keep my wits about me. Or post on here all the time so you can all tell me cause my track record with men is terrible. He hasn't pushed for. date we've been talking for a few weeks and he said he was happy to meet when I'm ready.

I may be able to. Do you think we should meet sooner rather than later then?

Yes rainy always sooner rather than later... then you have a much much better idea of it all actually works in person or not and whether to begin to be a little bit excited or not.

Yep, I'd always go for a few days' chat as a basic screening process, then meet. You really can never tell how you will get on until you see each other face to face. And it also saves wasting time and emotions on someone who's a non-starter, if that's what happens, or time that you could be using to properly get to know him if he seems like a good 'un.

Rainy what everyone else has said. Otherwise you really run the risk of getting emotionally involved with someone you haven't met and who you may have no spark with in RL. What can seem like Mr Wonderful sweeping you off your feet online can sometimes turn out to be the signs of a charmer who is manipulative.

Is it possible to ask someone to mind DC for a couple of hours and meet up for coffee, then you could have your big second date if he measures up.

yep, rainy... what OWW and Juliette said :)

run's into thread scattering [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish] [wetfish]

I think I've used up a weeks worth.

as you were.

Still sniggering about the Emergency Crash Carp

Ok i shall try. and see if i can do that.

Good move Rainy

Juliette :o

good luck rainy!