Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

[OhWesternWind]

Velvet you have all my sympathy. I just close the door on my children's rooms and leave them to it if they want to live in a foul pigsty and be ashamed to have friends round. It's crap, but it's their crap and they can live in it. The "public" rooms downstairs I stand over them and make them tidy up. It's bloody depressing though.

[Shinyshinyface]

Oh Velvet I feel for you. I get back from work and all my kids have been home for 3 hours at least and done nothing but create more mess. It makes me feel like walking back put the door and not coming back...

[VelvetSpoon]

Thank you. It makes me feel a little better to know I am not the only one like this.

It really upsets me though. After all the crap I went through with the Ex, putting up with YEARS of his shit so I didn't have to sell this house, it's still horrible, unfinished and (thanks to the DSs) filthy. I went to my friends at the weekend and her house is so beautiful, I can't see mine ever being a tiny bit as nice.

[mercury7]

my son was the same..he's left home (yeeehaaarr) his flat looks like a tramp broke in and made himself at home while he was out.

I couldnt give a stuff!

[ohmyrainydays]

Velvet my teen is the same. I went out earlier and asked him to wash up and he didn't until after I'd got home homeand nagged. Then i wanted us all to spend just ten minutes cleaning up the living room and he buggered off upstairs. He won't be getting a lift from me tomorrow now.

The bloke who i was talking about earlier has just phoned me! I didn't answer but i thought getting rid was too easy earlier.

[pixiebelle123]

Velvet - my house is a pigsty. My DCs are only little (7 and 5) but I am exhausted from constantly tidying up after them, it's depressing!

OWW - My advice is to make sure you have the most sensational photo of yourself on match and let him wallow in what a twat he is.

Can I ask for a bit of perspective from you lovely people? It's about pof man (again). We are going away this weekend and I was supposed to be staying over at his house tomorrow eve so we can shoot off in the morning together. However, he is now looking after his DCs first thing Thurs morning and taking them to school so I can't stay over. This annoyed me a little but he said he'd stay over tonight instead. He's just telephoned to say he's not staying over as he's too busy with work.

I just feel like he always gets to decide when we see each other and I'm really fed up of it! When he says he'll come over and then changes his mind it feels like a rejection which I find very upsetting. Am I being overly emotional about it? I feel quite down in the dumps in general at the moment so don't know whether I can trust my own judgement in these matters of the heart!

[Pomegranatenoir]

I think fleece man is winning me round. He is very charming. Said he wears a suit for work so he isn't constantly in a fleece!!!

I can vaguely remember fleecegate but can someone fill me in...?

Whilst we are on the subject of messy houses - my two are under 5 and constantly messing up the house!!!

[48howdidthathappen]

Pixie Short answer. I like a man to ask when I am free.

[Snapespeare]

velv

They're big enough to do their own cooking and laundry yes? I'd stop providing room service. If plates and cups grow mould in their room, then fine. Let them.. I'd keep communal areas reasonably tidy by collecting their stuff and putting it in their rooms. Any complaints can be treated to reciprocal selective deafness.

This is a phase. It'll be fine.

[VelvetSpoon]

It just makes me think I will be single forever, what man would ever bear to live in a tip? The Ex would have hit the roof if he ever saw the house a tenth as messy as it is now, it was never tidy enough for him, and certainly wouldn't be now. It just makes me so sad. I was brought up in a house that was spotless, I don't want to live like this.

They are tidying halfheartedly but I know it will be disgusting inside 48 hours. I have friends staying in DS2s room at the weekend (because my spare room has holes in the floor, and is full of wood, and tiles, and paint ) and I wouldn't put a dog I didn't like in there the way it is at the moment.

I may have to break my rule about not drinking indoors alone.

[OhWesternWind]

Pixie I am fucking stunning. Men see me and weep. (Not really, laugh probably). He will be looking at my photos and regretting his crapness every single day . . .

And talking of crapness, that's what you're getting at the moment, sweetheart. All this stuff is the same as the LM stuff, where he'd say he could see me, then it would all evaporate - with very good family - or work-based excuses -and I'd be left feeling like I was chasing after him, trying to get him to see me. It's a horrible feeling. This happened to me the last two weekends, and I just felt like I was being messed about by him all the time. What I knew deep down, and what I think you know too, is that if they want to see you, they will find the time somehow. Your bloke isn't even trying. Really sorry, but this just sounds so, so familiar and my heart goes out to you because it's so awful. Do yourself a favour, honestly and truly you will feel better without him. (((((Hugs))))).

[OhWesternWind]

Oh Velvet I think I am just about to drink indoors alone - join me in one. I have no carpets, a rotten floor in the room of doom, a late 60s stone fireplace and now bloody ants. Home sweet home.

Actually, I love it (although it depresses the hell out of me sometimes). It's mine all mine, no man can tell me what to do with it or in it and it is up to me what happens here. Best thing.

[pixiebelle123]

I don't like being messed around and I deserve better, grrr. Now if I could just get someone to look after the DCs while I nip to the local shop then I would be joining you OWW and Velvet in drinking alone tonight!

[OhWesternWind]

If we're all drinking, then we're not drinking alone, right?

[Snapespeare]

'What man could ever bear to live in a tip?' HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahaHAHAHhahahahHhAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHH!!!!!

velvet this is nameless, nameless, velvet (you may kiss chastely on the cheek) . I have learned to ignore plates and cups. They're not an issue compared to that smile and those eyelashes. If someone likes you they really won't give a damn about messy teenagers. I get a bit anal (usually) about untidiness because it does stress me out when things aren't ordered... And there a things I can't hope to control, but I do like to think if I work a stssul job to pay a fuck-ton of rent and cook and clean and all that stuff, then the small folk can do their bit to make our home life less stssful by picking up after themselves.

'I may have to break my rule about not drinking alone indoors' sweetie, if I lived by that rule, I'd never get drunk.

[Snapespeare]

^^ above typoes suggest the may have been an element of 'drinking alone'

[JulietteMontague]

Velvet every single day, sometime several times a day, DS comes home and dumps not just his bag, but his coat, jumper, jeans and whatever sports equipment he has onto my precious rug in the kitchen room. Every day. Last Friday I had a friend coming around and by 2 in the afternoon there were 6 items on the floor. He then steps over it and goes upstairs to his room. I am now going to put up a picture on my profile that I took to remind myself that IANBU when I loose it.

[VelvetSpoon]

I am still so indoctrinated into the Evil Ex's way of thinking that I cannot imagine any man putting up with this mess. He used go off like a rocket if there was so much as a crumb on the floor. Probably doesn't help that the lovely Ex had cleaning OCD and used to fold/hang up his clothes before bed.

Every time C comes here I spend HOURS cleaning beforehand, despite which I live in horror of him finding any mess anywhere, and it putting him off me completely.

Ok, am cracking open the alcohol! As Western said, if we're all drinking we're not alone :)

[JulietteMontague]

btw it took me 6 long years of bum cleavage, ebay and brick dust to turn this wreck of a house into a home, I am allowed to be precious about it

[Snapespeare]

Any man worth his salt will barely notice a dirty plate and just want to dive into your fabulous cleavage velv ...

...but I'd help any fucker who thinks I'll pick his socks up unless they really annoy me, but then I'd probably put them in the microwave

[JulietteMontague]

Velvet really, have a small unsmoked kipper for 'I cannot imagine any man putting up with this mess'. The man worthy of you won't give a toss and if he does, he can do more than his share or get a cleaner

[Snapespeare]

I like to think of velvet reclining on a satin bedspread, reading a jackie Collins and being too cleavage, hair and eyelashes to pick up after anyone.

Dock their allowance to pay for a cleaner. Little buggers!!!

[OhWesternWind]

Juliette I never had you down for a woman with (horror) bum cleavage!!! You can wear trousers that fit, you know, even if you're doing DIY.

[JulietteMontague]

OWW actually I have been known to accidentally flash the neighbours in the garden

[lubeybooby]

Velv, while I agree a bit of mess isn't going to put anyone off, it can't be good for you having the house thing with the ex hanging over you, and not being able to spend any money on the house in the meantime (saw the other thread) - is there anything you can do to get things moving in that area? That would drive me batshit mental it really would. It's just emotional baggage you don't need and would be so good to know you were free of it, all loose ends tied up.