Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

Oh dear Mr Veggie is getting a bit fruity! Well nothing is going to happen tonight so he can just calm down a bit.

Kristy, I didn't know that. I find LinkedIn when I am doing my 'research' about a man, but I don't have an entry there as I am in healthcare.

I think I have a penpal on Match...maybe a slow burner. He seems reassuringly normal...always a worry

OWW it's those rudely shaped vegetables again !!!!

OWW how fruity? I have cancelled dates for that, it gives me the creeps.

Hello Tigsy how are you?

I need more help oh wise ones. I'm trying hard notto get emotionally involved but it's not working. We're going to try and meet sooner.

He said he almost wished we could skip the dating bit and just start a relationship but he was aware of how crazy that sounds.

I think i need the wet kipper treatment again.

Fruity rather than pornographic so still just on the right side of the line ... I will be on my guard though now and nothing more than a little snog even if I do like him.

Going to a pub where LM has been known to hang out - in fact I went there on my first date with him. It would be so funny if he was there. I would have suggested somewhere else but there's a shortage of decent pubs round here too and they all seem to be having turns and karaoke on tonight for Easter.

Rainy, sorry but I strongly suspect he's bullshitting you, probably hoping for first date sex...after which you won't see him for dust. I had one last year who'd planned dates 2 and 3 before we'd even met, wanted me to think of him as my boyfriend, blahblahblah. We had one date (I didn't have sex with him though he v clearly wanted to). Next day got a text saying he wasn't ready for a relationship!

ohmy you feelings are based on HUGE assumptions. You don't know him, he doesn't know you, you have had no shared experiences. You like what he could be, what you hope you might turn out to be. (He could be a nose picker and eater , you just don't know yet)

Maybe go online and search for other suitable potential men, don't contact them yet, but note their names etc as a way of distracting yourself and diluting your thoughts of him.

I'm with velvet on this one rainy .. Tread carefully!

Velvet i know what you're saying but he hasn't mentioned sex at all, not even hinted at anything.

I'm so confused.

My typos have returned

There are some funny ones about. Be on your guard Rainy and treat it all with a huge pinch of salt. This man doesn't know you at all yet. Meet him soon but be careful.

It's the intensity oh, wanting to jump ahead, why not just take one step at a time, what's the rush? Sometimes people rush because they have something to hide and want you too far in before you find out whatever it is? It might seem romantic but usually comes from a position of weakenss/insecurity.

I'm with Velvet tread carefully.

im thinking of going down the online dating approach when i decide to do it. Im 30 and going out and meeting someone in a bar is a young mans game. Im still hurting about what happened to me but i really miss female company already and i dont mean in a sexual way. Are the any dating sites that more for friendship and building upto a relationship?

Rainy - when I first started doing online dating, about 6 months or so ago, I got chatting to this girl. She was lovely. Had one daughter a bit older than mine, had been single for a couple of years. Her photos were stunning, beautiful smile, and she was funny. She really 'got me', I really got her, we talked on the phone most nights for a couple of weeks as we couldn't meet up easily due to mutual childcare issues - we finished off each others sentences. It was like kismet.

Then we finally met. It was an hour of somewhat strained conversation because there just wasn't.. something. Chemistry, a spark, whatever. On the phone, by email, yes. In person, no.

So I learned to not get excited about anyone until I've met them, and not think about whether there is relationship potential until I've met them several times.

He may be lovely. He may be a nutter. You don't know until you actually know him.

Daddy 30 is young .

You say in your profile what it is you are looking for, although I find that if someone says 'friendship' it may be interpreted as online penfriend.

I have a few suitors in reserve but i have stopped talking to them for now because i found it was getting too complicated and time consuming.

He hasn't said he's going to skip the dating stages just that it would be easier. I am going to take it slow though and not rush in.

The two men I've had bad feelings about have turned into twunts and I'm not getting a bad feeling about this one.

Morning Bant, how are you? Buffy still slaying you?

Rainy another one in agreement with Velvet.

In fact this bloke is getting right into crazy nutjob red flag territory now.

[wetfish]

I know it feels good but it is NOT good - at best he'll be clingy and you'll never get any space... at worst, controlling, jealous, possesive, nutter. You read the red flag thread (or several) in relationships and all of them say the worst nightmares were like this at the start.

Plus you haven't even met yet and if things don't click for you, you're going to have slightly stalkerish problems here.

I am crossing everything that all goes smoothly but my doom radar is going mad here

Right. I am going to attempt the impossible, ie clean my hovel. I am sad/glad that I am not alone with the kids untidy house. But first, another cup of coffee and off to the gym, pleasure before pain, always.

i will have some thinking to do then if i ever sign upto one.

What are the best sites to use? I know id have to make it clear that i wanted to take things slowly.

Thanks i am listening, I'm going to see if we can maybe meet this week or next.

Daddy i use plenty of fish and I'm sure there's a category on there for just friendship when you create your profile. You can always add to the descriptin too.

Daddy they are all much of a muchness, tbh. The paid sites are slower IME, but require less sifting through dross, however, if it is just friends then perhaps a free site POF, OKC might be better. If you live in or near a city/large town you may find higher volume/more interest. Or you could look at some of the smaller sites or special interest sites like single parents, or hobby sites.