The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

I am terrified of taking pills, already have to take Metformin and Thyroxine, god knows what effect this drinking has to my diabetes past couple of months curry you are right of course. Just red wine makes me feel so relaxed, that feeling of panic just melts away, if that makes sense

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/podcasts/

or just do a search for the Mental Health Foundation

Afternoon, tis, me, Mouse

venus - fantastic news about your DD, many, many congratulations to you all, :) such wonderful, happy words to read xxxx

Hello Orchid, I'm glad you came back :) . Just try to take the drinking down a touch, I know that is easier said than done but getting shit faced every night won't stop the pain, the heartache or undo what has happened. You know that lovely and are worth so much more. xxx

Hello to the rest of you lovely lot, I need to go and make lunch and sort the very last bits of the DLA for Nemo out before getting him at 3 so will be back soon.

Keep on keeping on Brave Babes :) xxxx

Hey orchid sorry you've been having such a hard time,alias is so right the first few days really are the worst and it gets better very quickly. The sadness of your relationship break up will still hurt like hell but the booze really doesn't help that problem at all, talk to us and let us help you through the first few nights and it will get easier. Honest xxx

Checking in. Guts a bit better today but now windy and bloated and scales say I have gained three pounds! That can't be right, am walking/running three times a week and haven't bloody eaten the last two days due to being ill. What is going on?

Oh, Ma! How unfair! Hope you continue to improve - and stay away from naked flames!!

Welcome Orchid and Stella Well done for coming on here. You've had some good advice. Keep posting.

Baby, how's it going Sweet?

Mouse Hope the birthday prep is going well and your pain level is at a manageable level.

DS2 seems much happier now he's talked to me and his Head teacher. Really seems like a weight has lifted of his little shoulders.

Day 2 here. Feeling calm and happy. Good, upbeat meeting with the Alcohol Services Nurse today. Definitely probably going to do the day programme that they offered me - and maybe acupuncture (which is free) too.

Hope all Babes are OK tonight. xxxxx

*off

Well done Purple, you sound in a really good place just now & overcoming problems that come up. Glad your little boy is feeling happier...it really is good to talk, problem shared & all that!
I need to learn on my days off to devote time exclusively to my little boy as I'm always trying to do a million & one things then I get stressed at him when all he wants is to spend time with me...aw it's hard!
Just watched season finale of The Following, was really good.
Wishing all babes struggling lots of love & strength to keep going.
Night babes x

Hi back to day 2! Feel so much better and able to cope when dont have hangover to deal with! Best wishes to all.

Thanks Clutter. It's so hard to get the children/work balance right, isn't it!

Well done Full. Hangovers don't bother me really, it's the lack of sleep that pulls the rug from under me. Keep on keeping on!

Morning all, actually DP left in Feb so been on a bit of a major binge since then, had a melt down the other night and came to conclusion been running on nervous energy and booze. This obviously can not continue, things pretty settles with DP but still I continue to drink, can't seem to break this cycle. Think I just need to start cutting down, complete withdrawel seem to hard to contemplate. On the bright side what a lovely sunny day, sun always makes everyone happy. we really need a good summer.

Morning all, gorgeous day here and I'm glad to hear to hear purple clutter and orchid all sounding more positive. I'm on day 3 and finding
It pretty easy without the wine, but dealing with stress at home wothout wine is much more difficult!!! I keep losing my temper with dd's and dh but I maintain that they take me completely for granted and it leaves me feeling worthless and pointless. Wine always appreciates me, makes me feel special, improves my perception of my life UNTIL TOMORROW when it becomes the deceitful, lying bitch we all know and hate. I have to learn to live happily without "that" friend, therein lies the problem!!!!

isin Oh I know what you mean about food. I will feed DS and then open the red, well forget eating I am now interested. DP is the opposite and will eat for England. On a positive note going to Zumba class tonight, see if I can resist urge to crack open bottle when I get home
baby if I got to day 3 sure I would be in a right state of agitation, you seem to be doing well?

Day 3 for me, too Baby. x

Afternoon lovelies....

Day 2 again here and feeling GOOD about it. Feeling "with it" first thing in the morning is great. The grogginess and panic is just not a good thing for me.

Did anyone have any comment to make about my Mum's remark to me which I posted upthread? Am I over-reacting?

Orchid I've read your thread and you have been in a tough place, but time for some action! You can do it, you know you can. Now, gritted teeth, girded loins... You know the drill

mouse so glad that nemo is doing well. He's a little trouper! Glad that you're doing well too.

purps baby keep going!

joey have you got over the FIL business?

venus what lovely news for you..

stella are you still here?

ma curry and anyone else I haven't name checked - how are you all doing?

Thanks Lemony and well done! As for your Mum's comment, she may have wanted to offload some of the guilt she may feel on you - or even be trying to normalise what she does by trying to joke that you're not far behind - and therefore similar? I know that for me, when other people make 'alcohol/over-doing it comments to me, I do over-react because I have a guilt complex about it. They could make the same comments to others and the comment would just be laughed off. So, not very helpfully given you two viewpoints! You know your Mum best - do you think she was having a go?

Hi All

I posted up thread a while ago and haven't been around to keep up so apologies for not name-checking.

Well, I ended up admitting myself to hospital. Things were too bad. I was in for 5 days and 13 litres of ascites was drained from my abdomen. They said it was decompensating liver failure and it was very serious. I have referrals in the pipeline and more tests to discover the full extent of the damage and what my prognosis is.

It was a very scary and lonely time but also a great relief to admit the extent of my secret drinking problem.

Day 10 sober.

You poor thing Taking. So impressed that you admitted yourself to hospital, that was amazing. And also impressed by 10 days sober. How are you feeling now? Are you on any meds? And do you have any follow-up support apart from the referrals? Sending you a hug and don't forget to keep posting on here. Don't be a stranger, loneliness is pants. x

Ffs!!!! Ankles still not better and have now pulled a muscle in my back making it painful and difficult to move!! Deep, deep sigh!!

lemony I am trying to forget all about FIL although DH and I are bit at each other at the moment, he still thinks I over-reacted, I think, welll... maybe I did but that's because I'd been pushed so many times; straws and camels.

anyway moving on...

orchid do you have any plans after Zumba tonight? One thing I've learned on the Bus, is its not a good idea to just 'hope' your willpower is strong enough - maybe try and have some alternatives to take your mind off it? Whether its chocolate, a good film or phoning a friend, something to look forward to?

Brave Babes I have to confess I have not asked my aunt about having a meet-up at The Farm. I'm so sorry.

It would have meant explaining to her about The Bus, which would have been hard - but I thought I could do it (although the idea made me want to have a drink...)

But then if we wanted her to disappear during the meet, she would probably go to my mothers - so then my mother would find out! (and that thought makes me want to have another drink...)

And then also the problem of organising it, and trying to make sure everyone was happy/entertained/fed; and meeting strange new people, even nice Babes - maybe I'm just shy antisocial I don't know. But the whole thing freaked me out a bit.

It's hard to imagine dealing with an anxious situation like that without any alcohol! Maybe if I already knew one or two of you in the Real World... maybe I just prefer the anonymity of the Bus.

Sorry.

Joey Don't worry, and don't be sorry about anything Sweet. xxxxxx

Taking Nice to see you back {HUG}

joey don't worry, don't be sorry, we understand.... I think I'd react in the same way, to be honest....

purps Hmm, I think that maybe I was overreacting, but I don't think she was having a go, she was just being her normal self-centred-not-thinking-about-anyone-it's-all-about-me self. I'll get over it. I think I'll just vent to my sister who's been on the receiving end of my mother's mature nature......

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Well, I'm v emotional today so Jeff only knows what I'm going to be like tomorrow when Nemo is actually four! Soft old tart.

Orchid - I found that when I did Zumba (or any activity that was later in the day) made me not want to drink. You can do anything, just do something other than drink.

I do try and get to the gym sometimes at night now (when the pain and the boy let me) and have to say that all I want to drink is water once I'm home, get into bed and sleep or veg out on the sofa.

A 'distraction' will do you the world of good too, focus on you, focus on the Zumba, you need to start to rebuild YOU and you can only do that bit by bit, day by day.... with our support and love, and those in your RL, you will heal.

There's no instruction manual on relationships breaking down, affairs, people leaving or abuse..... you have to go with it, ride the horrific nights alone, crying yourself to sleep or lying awake wondering what your ex is doing right now. It's so torturous. It's just not on is it? Life like that.

And the pain is deeply cruel, twisting you into a person you never thought you'd be. You want to be yourself again. You need to write down what it is that YOU want every single day, every morning. Start each day a fresh, a new you, a new goal. Just one goal per day and gradually, slowly, get to where you want to be.

Purps - day 3 is better than day 1 so bloody well done you, and you Baby, maybe you can be day buddies? :)