The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

PS He told me his heart was broken today when I talked to him about it.

purple (hugs!) The wee man, it makes you all teary doesn't it?

isinde loved the poem!

ma I hope you're drinking enough water?

Well DH and I had another row tonight, life's just SHIT atm but am not going to drink tonight. Sometimes it feels like I'm just marking time until... what? Something good eventually happens ? Or we all die? What IS the fucking point?

Sorry to bring the Bus down. My moods have been very volatile lately

Not at all Joey - life is volatile. You are not bringing anyone or anything down. Keep going sweetheart xxxx

Purps - squidges xxx

Hello babes. Sorry for those who are struggling Joey the point is our babies and the moments of joy that we snatch. I was very down today but 10 minutes playing monsters before bed with my boy and fits of giggles and it all seems worth it. purple that's so tough :( you poor things. I'm sat in the sidecar but I'm deffo getting out tomorrow now ma's got a commode in here!

Some privacy in this sidecar would be appreciated!

Purple, sorry your little boy is struggling with things. Good that he's talking about it though & hope this helps him to process how he's feeling.
Mouse sounds like you've got a hectic time coming up and a huge occasion for you all that its your lovely little boys 4th Birthday.
BabyJ sorry your feeling so rubbish but you keep trying which is amazing. I've had to give Antabuse to people & have seen it make a huge difference & for some the knowing that they would be so ill is enough of a deterrent not to pick up that drink.
Alias, life sounds hard just now. I felt exactly like that when I was continuing to drink & it just felt like what was the whole point. I think I was quite depressed. I've been making myself go to church every Sunday (now I'm not hungover) & it's helping me. Obviously this isn't for everyone.
Curry hope you feel better soon too, sounds like you've had one thing after another just now.
MA sorry you've got a horrible bug & hope you feel better soon.
Waves to all other babes
Watching the programme just now on Hoarders & making me feel like my clutter hasn't quite won yet!
X

I'm lmao at the concept of babes leaping from the sidecar onto the bus because of ma's indisposition Most successful drive to cure the alcoholic ever

Hi mouse thanks and I feel bad sometimes I read everything here and I dont comment much. Just behind scenes wishing everyone well. I loved isinde poem. Today not so good but hopeful tomorrow will be better!! Clutter well done !! I still have bad day and know that ww wont help but still dont listen to any sense!

Yes there are some things that will put even me off wine!

xx

Clutter - Good for you re the hoarding! How are you? The new job?

I am off to bed after having a nice allergic reaction to chilli in the fish cakes we had tonight. Great.

Be safe and sound all, I'll do a new thread in the morning so if you could all pop off to bed now and stop the gabbing, that would be fab, so bed please!

Mwahs xxxx

Hope tomorrows a better day fullofhope. Life is hard & things get in the way of trying to be good but you keep trying. I just wish we lived in a world where no-one drank & we all just got on with it.
X

purple I still have little note that dd wrote when I was splitting up with exh - it says "I don't like the new flat. Please will you and daddy be happy together" then it had a picture of a happy family

It was heartbreaking (and still is), but I keep it because it reminds me never to be complacent about how my behaviour impacts on my dc, and also to remind me that in the whole scheme of things, a sad child was not the right reason to change my whole existence. These things are terribly tough for children, but it also them to understand that some outcomes are not possible. I think the best things I did for dd were to listen and acknowledge her heartbreak (which you are doing). And to find out what (in the circumstances) would help her.

Now, dd is very close to me, and quite amicable with her dad. She is in a wonderful stable relationship and is pregnant with a baby of her own.

It is tough to believe, but this too will pass x

Thanks Joey, Mouse, Green and Clutter. Venus, thank you for that, it's nice to know you and DD worked out great.

Have had a few tears today (especially when cuddled up with small boy) but, as has been said, at least he's talking about it now. XP popped round and, despite me telling him all about it on the phone, left the 'chat' to me to do. Think it would have been more helpful if he'd have stayed and talked to DS2 too. Sigh. The great thing is the school is fantastic with this sort of thing! It only has about 90 pupils and have known all my DC's since pre-school. Plus, they were there for me when things were awful. They really care (and cuddle!) and both my boys trust them with their feelings.

Right, off to bed now before Mouse shouts at me for gabbing. Night Babes xxx

Oh dear what a mess at the moment:-( keep failing miserably at controlling my drinking so feel rubbish also bikker with dp afta drinking then last night massive argument and out the blue he went for me grabbed me by the throat and the argument turned into a brawl with him smashing things up grabbing me and me having a go back:-( (I started a thread on it last nite) but although I hadn't drank much he did mention drinking wen he went for me and I'm not surprised it bothers him he was brought up by alcoholics off and on. Oh just feel like things have gone from bad to worse:-( :-(

stella what a terrible situation, is he drinking with you? Has he got a history of violence? This is a bit our of my depth but some super babes will give you some great advice and support very soon, take care and thinking of you x

Stella how awful for you. Had this happened before or completely out of the blue? How has he been with you today? Does he drink too?
Could you both make an appointment with GP to get help for drinking & maybe anger management for dp.
Your GP can point you in the direction of alcohol services who could help with all your issues that arise out of drinking.
Thinking of you x

Oh Stella: It might have been bad for your DP being brought up by drinkers, but that's NO EXCUSE for grabbing you round the throat.

I second clutter's suggestion of seeing your GP. Hugs to you.

Day 1 here again. I'm happy with that. I had wine last night and didn't really enjoy it. Don't really enjoy the feeling I have either. So that's OK. I can deal with this. I'll start again. I was feeling so good, that I want to feel that again.

As you know, I have a bit of a complicated relationship with my Mum, who is terminally ill with cirrhosis of the liver. So, this little story may or may not amuse you - feel free to give your honest opinions of the story and her/me:

DS (15) has signed up for the organ donor register with my backing. I've been on the donor register since my DP died. I spoke to my DM last night and she told me that DS was worried about how I would take the fact that he was on the register. I told her that I'd encouraged it because we don't need anything when we're dead anyway and we could help or save other people's lives, blah, blah, blah.

I told her that 2 people's sight could be restored by my eyes; my heart & lungs could save someone else; 2 people's lives could be saved with my kidneys; my liver is very well preserved and could help someone live to be 150.

Cue my DM laughing and saying "Well, you're not that far behind me on the road.... ha, ha, ha, ha".

Is this a strange thing to say? No words of concern or encouragement? Just a strange kind of glee? AIBU? Am I over-reacting?

Ha ha I like that story lemon!! It is a bit strange from your mum but not from a drinker if you know what I mean?? I'm feelin betta now thanks all. Dp is very sorry today and agreed to see doc this has happened once before wen I was pregnant but he didn't grab my throat then. Also no he doesn't drink so its not even something we can control just his temper. He has been under stress lately tho so that could be why. He has asked me to stop with wine as makes me argumentative which is true half the time the stuff makes me bloody miserable but I just cant stop. Well a good reason now tho I guess or otherwise dp may kill me!! Not funny really but its just so strange as he's not normaly aggressive at all its just so out of character for him. Right then day one. And what a beautiful day too:-)

Hello all, I hope you don't mind me climbing aboard again but I really need help. I have been posting on another thread about the split up of my 21 year relationship, left in Feb. Trouble is I have really been depending on booze to "get me through" I am scared it has really taken a grip. I manage to cope all day busy working but come evening can't wait to reach for the Red wine, followed by a few cheeky bourbons. I realise I have a a real problem, tried to abstain the other night, could not sleep, lay awake sweating having a major panic attack. I think my body is addicted. I am in vicious cycle. I feel ok during the day. Please any thought how I make this better

welcome orchid it sounds like you have been through a tough time, but at least you've spotted the problem early, and are willing to do something about it. The first few days are the worst, it WILL get easier.

ODAAT. One Day At A Time. You only need to make it through today. Re. lying awake (I am the resident Bus insomniac!) the best thing I have found is podcasts (free) from the Mental Health Foundation. I also take various medication/herbal tablets etc, it will take a while to get used to, but eventually becomes a habit.

joey, can you post links to the podcasts?

Thanks joey I have always been a heavy drinker but thought I had under control. Trouble is not ready to give up right now but something needs to change, I afraid I will make myself ill

orchidlady, you sound very sad and tired. maybe you need to talk to the gp. about sleep, alcohol, everything. perhaps you are not addicted to alcohol but need something else to stand in for it to help you sleep (not nec. meds but maybe). you are stressed and self-medicating, I think you need to get some help.