The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

Joey I hope your evening is going ok. Fwiw I would absolutely have jumped in to defend dd in your position. That older generation still think it's ok to call kids stupid (fil does it to my dh even now!) but they need to learn it's not ok and in fact is damaging to their self esteem.

Your dh is probably not used to standing up to his parents but that's his problem, no reason why your dd should have to take it just because he wants to keep the peace with them.

It sounds like he wants to 'punish' your dd by taking away her tutor? When he is calm he will realise that that is not in her best interests. Anyway, come back if you want to talk some more about it.

elporto welcome to the bus. A familiar story I'm afraid but at least it's brought you here to us. There are lots of things you can do to stop that overdrinking you describe such as having a meal before you drink alcohol, alternating soft drinks, diluting with soda water & ice and just getting into the habit of sipping instead of slugging

Hang around and keep posting.

elport and joey I will post tomorrow when I have more time but I reckon you both need a big ole hug, stay strong x x x x

Thank you it really means a lot to get responses so quickly and such lovely support you have bolstered my strength for facing colleagues in the morning.

I am going away this weekend w/o DH and DC, and am going to take the chance to try and reevaluate what I am doing and why, could be some hard questions but I have to start somewhere

Joey what a rotten thing for your FIL to do to your poor DD Well done for sticking up for her, I can hear you roaring like a brave, lioness protecting your cub Rather than her remember the time granddad acted like an arse and tried to humiliate her, when she's older, she's likely to look back and remember the way you took control of the situation and fought her corner Hope your DH comes round and can see what a shitty trick his dad played.

elportodelgato welcome to the bus, I'm a total novice and newbie here, but it's a very welcoming place. The best advice I can give you about facing your workmates is to remember that if everyone else was drinking, memories will be blurred. Plus we're only ever a passing thought in other people's heads, what happened on Friday is old news and I don't think people will have sat round all weekend thinking about what you said/did (well not for long, anyway )

Whether or not you think your drinking habits are an issue is for you to decide, no one here can tell you that. But if you're doing something that makes you feel so crap afterwards, I guess it's food for thought? If you're having another night out soon, maybe think about planning ahead, deciding beforehand if a) Could you drive instead? or b) make sure you alternate your drinks with soft ones, making sure you've eaten well before you go out? All easier said than done, I know, I'm rubbish at this!

elporto welcome and well done for being brave and posting! We're all different on here, some people abstain completely, others are able to ride on the 'regulated roofrack' (controlled drinking) and quite of us trail behind in the sidecar of shame

It depends what is right for you. It might take a while to find your balance. Do you have any support in real life?

Cross-posted with lots of you, sorry, takes me that long to type at this time of night

babyjane hooty thanks

Oh God. A bottle and a glass of red wine tonight. Feeling sorry for myself crossed with revulsion for my bloated face. Not looking forward to staring myself in the mirror tomorrow. Christ, will I never learn?

Morning everyone witco are you ok babe? You sounded so sad in your post, we can help you, you can help us, I too have a bloated face and a body I don't even recognise, your not alone and need to keep posting. I'll be thinking of you. joey you were 100% right to react as you did, it's in our DNA and she will be glad you did, go mummy joey.elport how you doing? Have a good day, I'm off for a swim and to drink my body weight in water x x x

Ps this is a lot of water xx

Morning, had my "MOT" yesterday, diagnosis high blood pressure, which is exactly what I knew I had before I went to the hospital for check up but doc insisted on sending me up. Anyway no alcohol for me at the weekend and no plans to have any today!

Morning all.

Hi elporto!

mouse, hope you got a good night's sleep.

Sorry to hear about the car, clutter. I hate the sinking feeling when they tell you how much it will be - hope it's sorted out for you soon.

witco - I know how you feel. Hope you're not feeling too bad this morning. One day at a time, right?

obrigada - ooh, that's not too bad, is it? (Or am I very ignorant? ). Hopefully it will come down with you off the booze.

Good afternoon everyone. Day 3 and second C25K run to come tonight..Witco..I know -That 'why the hell did I do it again'. feeling Horrible - I hope you feel ok now. Beautiful warm day, a good day to keep going everyone Despite Cat driving us MAD all night long. he Never Shuts Up

Morning

Not doing so well here, still so much stress, still drinking for the wrong reasons.
Not so much last night but still, too much because I had not meant to drink at all.

Welcome to all the new people

joey I am super-impressed with you for your response to your PIL.
obrigada, high blood pressure is very common, I think. Do you have advice on what to do about it?

elporto, that sinking feeling after a blurry friday night... I know it well. try to put it into perspective by thinking: if I never do this again, in a few weeks they will have forgotten I ever did it at all. Try to think ahead instead of backwards.

So busy at work, I have read all your posts but don't have time to write any more. Sending you all lots of love and hope

xxx

curry your so right in what you say, we are powerless to change the past but the future is ours to play out as we chose. My very smart Gran had a saying "it's not where you start, it's where you finish" the people I have let down I thankfully have time to make new memories, whether
It be last night or last year, it's already behind and this bus is only going one way and that forwards. Today we all start with an "A" x x

Thanks all, I was feeling very sorry for myself last night but I got angry this morning so I will NOT drink this evening. I hate my bloated face and fat middle! My Dad was an alcoholic and I refuse to go the same way (he died at 53). I have a lovely family and a lot to be grateful for, it's great to have all the Babes with me x

Hi all, dd's 14th Birthday today & had my folks, pil's, sil, aunt, partner & family round. Normally this would send me running for alcohol as tend to get stressed quite easily. My dm had also given me a bottle of rosé to sneak in my fridge so I could just appear with it & my df couldn't then moan at her (she too is bad on wine!)
I didn't feel tempted at all. Thought about my Allen Carr book that its an illusion that I needed alcohol to get me through stressful situation. Situation which is normally stressful became less stressful so I'm thinking in the past the alcohol hasn't helped an had then made things worse. That kinda makes sense in my head, sorry if it doesn't read well!
Thanks LRD, car cost two hundred pound. Had to borrow off my parents. I'm 35 & still having to go to them

Got a wee question to say if you lovely wise babes can help.
I have 3 cats, mummy cat & her 2 boys. My cats are neutered. If I leave their cat flap open through the night a horrible Tom cat comes in & sprays in the house I changed cat flap to magnetic one & cats wear magnets. Tom cat still gets in. I lock our cat flap at night with cats in & open in the morning. This works in winter. Now we're getting into summer cats want to stay out longer than I want to stay up & want out earlier than I want to get up. They scratch to get out at 5am & quite often wake my crazy 3 yr old up.

Wondered if anyone had any suggestions for how I can stop Tom cat coming in & spraying & let my cats come & go?
This problem is driving me mad!!
X

OhClutter, is the Allen Carr book good?

Dont know sorry though! I was half hoping when started to read that u had cat that needed home as probably could be talked into cat rather than dog. Had hard day today. Worried about ear. Mum v sick in hospital and job difficult. I think I need nice easygoing friendly cat. Wat do u think then?

X posted - answering as well as clutter! Acarr v good!

Hi clutter - if u have spare cat send him over (if hes friendly and easygoing) Witco - clutter will confirm (im presuming :-)) value of acarr (v cheap on kindle)

witco I ordered 2 Alan Carr books by mistake so
If you want to pm me, id gladly send you my spare, it's brand new but hardly worth returning, then you can pass it on to another babe after you've read it x x x

You don't sound self-pitying or judgy, isinde. In fact I think if you read it sober you'd see that. You just sound as if you're negotiating something that's really difficult.

Obviously I don't know what it is like ... and I'm going to put this badly ... but I think sometimes it is possible to be so convinced it's important to do the 'right' thing, the good-partner thing that everyone talks about on threads about partners, that you sort of over-compensate, or you don't admit that it's really hard to do that.

It sounds like maybe a one-off where both of you had really rough days, but you shouldn't feel bad for how you felt.