The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

hi again well, I had to go and collect dd from her friends house and she, little friend and friends mum all went out for lunch - I made myself have a roast dinner and that was lovely. Feeling a bit more on top of it now. My liver is hurting though - have been a bit (a lot) bingy lately. Am determined to see how long i can go though. Have done a year in the past and need that motivation to return. Hope it's ok for me to jump back in. MonsterCat doing well - very noisy and still enormous

I've just fallen out with my in-laws. Am angry with them, and myself, and DH... well, everybody really.

Thank God I'm not drinking tonight. I know it wouldn't help, but I really want it. God I hate people. Most of them.

Except my dog. He's lovely and he cheers me up. Why can't people be more like dogs? Without the arse-licking, obviously.

I've just made myself do the first day of C25K. It was really hard, bu it helped. People are horrible sometimes :(

Well done on C25k emm. I do it every year and just completed w2r3 today. Keep at it, you CAN do it and you will feel so proud of yourself. There is a c25k thread on MN where loads of lovely ladies will give you all the support you need

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Just very quickly popping in to say that I'm going to bed but I've missed you guys the last few days... busy, busy weekend. I love watching the thread change, evolve and develop.

Be back tomorrow. xxxxx

emin well done you!

I don't think my DH is speaking to me cause I pissed off his parents. I'm trying to sort through my anger (how fucking DARE THEY tell my daughter she was stupid) and guilt (umm, perhaps I could have handled the situation more maturely)

It's weird, but tonight I feel really glad I'm not drinking because I know it would make me feel worse. I wish I had someone to talk to though. I'm bottling it up. Usually I talk to DH about everything, but I guess he thinks I Crossed a Line.

I don't think I swore at them (can't actually remember - I was in a red mist)

alias maybe these 2 poems about dogs will help to cheer you up (and yes, why can't people be more like dogs?)

How to Love Like a Dog
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand that sometimes your loved ones are too busy to give you any time.
If you can overlook it when those you love get irritated with you,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than an poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer stress without medical help,
If you can relax and have fun without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, colour, religion or politics,
THEN, my friend, your love is almost as good as your dog?s.
Almost, but not quite,
Because besides not having any of your hang-ups and vices,
He would without hesitation, sit by your side all day long, and ask for nothing but your adoration.

If a Dog Were Your Partner
If a dog were your partner, this is what you'd learn...
? When the person you love comes home, always run to meet them
? Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your hair to be pure joy
? When it's in your best interest, do what you are asked
? Stretch before you get up in the morning and take lots of naps during the day
? Every day, run and have fun, and play with each other
? Thrive on attention, and let the person you love touch you
? Don't over-react to things you don't like; avoid biting, when a simple growl will do
? On warm days, lie together on the grass
? On hot days drink lots of water and sit together under a shady tree
? When you're happy, dance around, and wag your entire body
? When things go wrong, don't pout and sulk - run right back and make friends again
? Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
? Eat with enthusiasm and stop when you've had enough
? Be loyal
? Never pretend to be something you're not
? If what you want in life is hidden and buried, dig until you find it
And MOST of all
? When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and offer a gentle nuzzle

Thurso lovely to see you posting. How's things? x

venus thank you lovely

I have now decided I want a drink (not at 9am, I mean later on) I just want to make all the bad thoughts in my head go away. I know it's not a long-term solution, but just a few hours respite.... mind you, then I would hate myself even more for not being able to handle a minor disagreement... DH left the house in a thundercloud this morning

God I feel so shit and pathetic but still angry with them and also angry with myself.

jango36 Your post struck a chord with me. The dreaded anxiety/depression and alcohol cycle that so many of us fall into.

Anxiety, lack of appetite, rubbish sleep, low mood are all symptoms of depression. So we naturally look to something to numb those feelings. We reach for the wine, lager, whatever and yes, that initial hit of the first glass is warm and fuzzy, softens the edges. But that hit doesn't last nearly long enough, so we seek another, and another and another until we've completely wrapped ourselves up in a black-out bubble. But, when you drink to excess, you're left with the side effects. Which are anxiety, lack of appetite, rubbish sleep and low mood. You see where I'm going with this. And so the cycle begins and it's not easy to see a way out, I know that all to well.

Kind of like a chicken and egg scenario, isn't it? There's nothing lovely about that bottle of wine my love.

I've had anxiety and depression on and off for almost 20 years, some episodes occurring when I've not been drinking, so I'm not blaming alcohol as a cause, not at all. But it's no coincidence that for me, the longest spell I've been on antidepressants has been this 5 year stretch, which also coincides with the longest spell of continuous heavy drinking I've had (also 5 years).

So I know deep down that there's only one depressant in this mix that I can actively do something about and that's alcohol. My problems aren't going to go away overnight, I'm never going to be free from triggers and I can't rub out my past, but what I can do is give my brain a chance by removing alcohol, otherwise I'm fighting an uphill battle that I'm never going to win.

Hope that ramble makes some sense, I hope your GP is supportive of you this week x

Waves to all the babes out there, I'm rushing off out but will be back later x

Depression - yuk. I also have suffered for years. I now the alcohol doesn't help, but it always seems to be the answer - until the next day Feeling a bit better today but still obsessing a bit. The running should help..I hope. Nearly threw Cat out of the window last night - he simply does not stop miawing. I have no idea what is wrong with him. He had started going out at night but the neighbours very sheepishly said they were being kept awake by his yowling . he's fit, fat, happy, healthy, but NOISY!!!

Morning babes

joey what happened? Tell us, get it all out of your system

hooty quite right, alcohol is the part you can control and it is a depressant and worse. Good for you.

emin oooh! I'd forgotten monster cat. Give him a massive squish from me, I love great big yowly tom cats. Hope you are feeling lots better today. How is your health in general are you still having treatment ?

'lo there venus andmouse ma jango

I've finally shifted my bad mood. Think that I'm finding it hard to socialise properly again now that I'm sober. I was always pissed and loud and now I'm much quieter, which for an extrovert is a disaster! So I have to grow up a little and listen to people a bit more,turns out I'm wrong about a lot of things,who knew? I'm also horribly oversensitive in general now-wtf? It was MUCH easier to be a loud mouth,piss artist. Nice and safe.lol.

hooty said: that initial hit of the first glass is warm and fuzzy, softens the edges. But that hit doesn't last nearly long enough, so we seek another, and another and another

and I can see how true that is!

guggs well... (sorry, long) my DD (11) has struggled with her maths for a long time. She has had a maths tutor for 18 months, and her confidence is slowly improving. Yesterday, we went to my PILs and my father-in-law suddenly asked DD what 12 x 6 was (they were writing out a cheque for something) DD put on the spot, panicks and starts guessing. I could see in her eyes the terror

god I can actually feel my heart beating as I recall this. But I could FEEL her panic. Anyway she came out with some ridiculous answer, and FIL told her she was stupid. I lost my temper, said How DARE he call her stupid and dragged DD (in tears by this time, no doubt my fault for making things worse) into the kitchen. Told DH we were going home. He refused to go for 15 mintues, wouldn't take sides (more neutral than Switzerland, my DH) eventually we left.

I was just so ANGRY we have worked so hard on helping to improve her confidence, right now I'm feeling tearful again just thinking about it. I know its partly psychological, she has a mental block and panics. I know, I'm probably too soft on her. PFB and all that. They now think I over-reacted, DH is not talking to me. I rarely lose my temper, but when it happens, it lasts about 30 seconds and then I start shaking and crying. Poor DD could see how upset I was and she was trying to comfort me so I am really crap at the whole parenting thing.

Christ I'm going to cry again.

I really shouldn't burst into tears at work. Luckily my boss isn't here today.

DH has emailed me to say he thought we should discontinue the tutor. I replied>>

I?m not sure what would be an alternative though. (humiliation and distress?) Mr Maths is really there to help her grasp the concepts, for fcks sake who needs a 12 times table nowadays, we?re not imperial anymore

oh and the damned relaxation podcast on my kindle isn't working. Sorry for letting it all out. This must have triggered some episode from my childhood about being called stupid? (amateur psychology)

and breath

*PS. Mr Maths isn't his real name.

Oh, joey.

I'm really sorry you're having a rough time.

FWIW, my mum tutors children who struggle with maths, she has a PhD in maths, and she would totally agree with you that firing questions like that at a child who's slowly getting her confidence up is really not a good idea.

I can't see how calling a child stupid is ever ok. Your DH should be having words with his dad, not being cross with you!

Tell your DD that you know grown-up women who are doing just fine with maths now, but who would still go blank and panic at a question fired at the like that. Tell her it's ok, she will get there with the maths. It's true, she will.

joey that's awful!! Your FIL behaved like a child himself. I can fully understand why you feel so strongly and you've done exactly the right thing- speaking out when you see your child being hurt. You decided to defend her rather then people please- Well good for you

O.K- you're feeling the after shock now and there is mass sulking because you didn't tow the line.

I've taught loads of children and lots of perfectly competent and able children just freeze when they are asked an unexpected question,especially girls. It's the equivalent of making a spelling mistake or getting tongue tied- just one of those things.

In his defence, asking kids questions is normal for some generations though inexcusable to call her stupid.Perhaps he would care to answer some quick fire questions about technology - the kind of thing 11 yr olds fully understand?

I say keep going with the tutoring yr dd is benefitting- sod anyone else. Don't apologise and don't explain,you are occupying the moral high ground and they bloody well know it. I think you have every reason to feel ragey but I wouldn't continue the row if I were you because it's so stressful for you.

Just wondering who the cheque was for? I don't mean was it for the gas or 'lekkie but was the cheque for your dd? Maybe the bugger was feeling mean and didn't really want to write a cheque?

Right- cry away, rage away- you have stuck up for your dd.Hope you feel better soon.xxxxx

guggs LRD thanks you guys, I do feel I did the right thing (actually had no choice, it was sheer instinct that made me leap in) you may be right about don't apologise, don't explain.

And how clever of you to have cottoned on that the cheque was for DD! (are you psychic?) but it was for her singing lessons (which she has a talent for) rather than her maths tutor. So, yes there is a cheque sitting at home burning a guilty hole in my wallet.

You definitely did the right thing.

Even if he did think firing a question at her was just normal, he has no excuse for calling her stupid.

joey that's horrible :( I'm so sorry. Sounds like my mother - she had a go at me for telling dd that she is a 'clever little girl' 'you mustn't keep telling her she's clever, she'll get all big headed'. Gahhhhh!

joey take the cheque and spent it on.... no wait...must behave like an adult....Ok can't. spend it on ice cream and eat the whole lot in front of him

Don't drink tonight lovely,it will just lead to going over the row. Try to leave it for another night when a bit of time has gone by.

grrrrrrr!

so much for good resolutions, I have just sent DH a rude email. I really am fizzing about this.

I won't drink, there is no alcohol in the house and it would just make things worse.

Yes, don't drink. You'll only give him an easy route to the moral high ground (or more seriously, he might think you only minded because you'd got a bit tipsy, and it isn't that).

Hi there, I have been lurking on the bus today and think I should probably join

Big night out with work on Friday, made an arse of myself, at least I think I did I really can't remember too much, I feel so sad and anxious. And I am noticing that this is a bit of a trend with me sometimes. I don't go out as much as i used to pre-DC so most of the time drinking is a glass over dinner with a friend or sharing a bottle with DH on a friday night. however when i do get a proper night out, i can really binge and i am the one who gets drunkest quickest, most of the time I am fine and have a fun night out, but sometimes I seem to lose control and really suffer for it - terrible sleep, awful mood in the morning, no patience with the DC, awful feelings of guilt and anxiety, intense need for DH to reassure me.

My ideal scenario would be that I NEVER binge drink again. That I manage to just have a few glasses a few times a week and enjoy myself but without going completely over the top. Is this realistic? Am I kidding myself and should I really just stop altogether?

Be gentle with me wise women of the battle bus, I am feeling fragile and worrying about facing colleagues in the morning...

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry I'm not around just now.... lots of paperwork to do. Nemo's DLA has come through for renewal. So many questions..... I'm exhausted.

So, sorry to be rubbish on the support front right now but as Arnie would say - "I'll be back"

Night all, take good care, sorry not to catch up.

Mousey xxx

Hi all, just wanted to say hi & wishing all babes love & strength. Not been on the thread too much as started new job today & dd's B'day tomorrow.
Car went wonky on me today of all days & going to cost £200 to fix. Feel this is my ying & yang as life going well so something needed to fix the scales!
Life does feel so much calmer & problems more manageable without alcohol.
Venus loved your poems about dogs, I have cats & think it could easily be about them too. It's funny I've often looked at them when hungover & thought they're life's are so much simpler & easier & wished alcohol had never been invented for us humans.
Night babes x