The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

Just checking in quickly as it's late. Doing ok here.

Well done on 70 days tomorrow, clutter! That's brilliant.

mouse - so lovely to read your post.

Go Nemo! And good for you, you must be feeling proud of yourself too.

Morning all. I went to bed at 9.30 last night and feel great for it. The littlest chum woke up at 5.30 so it's a good job really. Usually I make DH get up, because I'm sleeping off my hangover. He was gigging last night until 1am and would have got up if I hadn't, and I would have laid in until 9, which is really selfish. He is a real gem, but his loveliness enables me to be a selfish drunk so I need to stop taking advantage.

Day six here.

Will read thread properly now and catch up with news from everyone.

curry I think if they offer 30 they may not be able to accept any on appeal (unless they have made a mistake) - i think there is a thread on this in Education section. taking it never ceases to amaze me the lack of support from the doctors, can't beleive you are just left to your own devices in this state. if you are worried, go to A and E don't be dissuaded.

Lots of great posts here the last few days sorry I can't namecheck everyone. I have hit the fuck it button the last 24 hours with eating smoking and drinking. Had some bad news re my health, diagnosed with a condition which is not serious but causes chronic pain and is incurable (all credit to the babes dealing with this aleeady) i will pull it around but need a few days to stamp my feet And wallow in the unfairness of it all.

Greeneyed. Be kind to yourself, darling.

I have been thinking a lot about the Russell Brand article Purple(hope you are okay) posted. Alcohol is not the problem for me, Life is the problem and alcohol is the solution (hugely flawed solution! ). Lots of us have had more than our fair chair of the end of the shitty stick, toxic or alcoholic parents, abusive partners, health problems, challenging offspring etc etc etc and we have learnt to pick up the bottle to cope with all of this. I feel a rush of sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger and i want to quell it with wine. Then happiness, excitement joy, I will quell them also. It's as if i can't cope with any extreme of emotion and where it might take me. Easier to quash it straight away.

The challenge in giving up alcohol is finding another way to deal with those emotions, process them or ease them. Until you do I feel the WW will always be there offering a quick fix and fundamentally when things get really tough and we are exhausted in our efforts to resist we'll give in. I need to find another way, maybe it is counselling to face up to the emotions and process them or let them go or something to change my state of mind naturally i.e exercise or meditation. Until i do this I feel resistance is somewhat futile

Sorry for typos, on my phone. Going back on my meds in the next couple days so expecting semi lobotomy to ensue, will be reading but probably won't be posting much as i will struggle to find the motivation to move my finger :). Thinking of you all lovely and brave babes, have a fab day. I will be spending it in the garden :)

Morning babes. Sorry to hear things a bit rubbish Green, be kind to yourself & know you'll get through this.
Hope all babes have a great Saturday. My dd turns 14 on Tuesday & I have 11 of her friends coming round later to get ready...think I'll make myself scarce til they go & hope my house survives the perfume, make-up carnage!

Well done Mr Bloom, day 6 & up with your little one on a Saturday morning is great

Morning, tis me, Mouse :)

MrBloom - He was gigging last night until 1am and would have got up if I hadn't, and I would have laid in until 9, which is really selfish. He is a real gem, but his loveliness enables me to be a selfish drunk so I need to stop taking advantage. - yes you do but the great thing is that you KNOW you do it. Congratulations in seeing Saturday at such an early time, your first for a while I assume? :) xx

Purple - where are you? xx

Greeny - hello lovely, long time, no speak. Your posts this morning have had me nod, lots. You are spot on in the need to find an emotional crutch that isn't alcohol, drugs, or other dangerous delights. I'm glad you have sought help again and are going to go back on the meds for a while to see if they can help you.

You've had your fair share of shit too, remember that. We can't control what presents itself in our minds each day, it just jumps right in there and slaps the fuck out of you for no good reason, so be gentle and try to let go of some of the guilt/shame/worthlessness (delete or add where applicable) carry with you each day.

You are worth so much more than you think, and I do believe you are starting to get that by now seeking help. Post when you can, please sweetheart because we all care about YOU. (((huggles))) as Nemo would say. xx

Clutter - good look with the 'Here Come The Girls' Boots advert that is about to explode in your house! 14? Wow, DD is 14 and going to McFly tonight. No doubt I shall be blow drying and straightening hair later on! Hope she has a lovely time.

Sorry not to NC everyone, I need to go and start to get everything sorted :)

Oh, no, green. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Take care of yourself, love.

Drank 1.5 bottles of wine last night. Hadnt had any in ages. Didnt enjoy it hate feeling like shit this morning. This is finally it !!!! The end of the line. Really never again.

Greeny so sorry to hear that Yes, take the time you need, stamp those feet, do whatever you feel will help you through the early days of processing this news. Hope the meds will go some way to helping you get on top of things.

Nodding my head at the needing to find another way to deal with the shit life heaps on us - sometimes I look at my kids and the angst they are facing growing up, (plus my youngest has a long-term medical conition among other things that make life extra hard for him) and worry that they will soon lose their knack for coping with life and seeking solutions, hell even coping with boredom, and be seeking out alcohol and/or drugs instead. Terrifies me. Enjoy your time in the garden, take care

Mouse Brilliant news about Nemo! We've actually crossed paths on MN before (in a luffly way, not bunfighty way ) but that was a couple of years ago so you probably won't remember this brain-farting old owl! I admire both you and little Nemo so very much, so pleased you've both had a good week with school

Clutter 70 days, wow, well done you!

full don't neat yourself up, we've all been there at some point. Day 1 is as good a day as any to tackle this, keep going lovely

Sorry not to namecheck everyone, still in my jamas and need to get this lot out of the house today. DD1 has made merry with a bottle of fake tan and whilst I admire her sensible 'fake not bake' attitude, she looks like she's been scrabbling around in a flower bed, digging for treasue. All attempts to help her remove some of the streaks are being met with "It's fine, you don't know anything anyway" so I'm doing my best to keep it zipped!

It was a nice change though to wake up without a heaving bag of empties waiting for me in the kitchen (once the recycling bin was half-full I used to hide all of the empties in the outside bin so would hide a bin bag in the kitchen for this purpose). There I go again, rambling on! I'll either have to learn to try and keep my posts concise and to the point or do as DD says and learn zip it

Have a great day all x

Full I meant don't beat yourself up, sorry! 'neat yourself up' sounds like what I was doing last weekend when the wine ran out and I hit the dirty vodka

:-)

Morning all, have a full MOT on Monday morning, blood pressure too high and have developed a heart murmur, so no alcohol for me this weekend!

Obrigada - big hugs to you, try not to worry (yeah, right!). xxx

I need to go but will be back tomorrow xxx

Good luck with your MOT Obrigada, second the try not to worry, but know how stressy it is waiting to have tests x

Taking been thinking of you today, hope you're as OK as you can be and your reduction to half a bottle goes well tonight x

I've got the 'It's Saturday, g'wan, live a little' monkey on my back, trying to shake the little shit off though so I've made a nice glass of lime and soda with heaps of ice. Keep playing the film through to the end as well and have read back to my post last Sunday to remind me why I'm doing this.

It's hard though, hard as hell.

I used to have 1.5 bottles every single fri and sat nite and thought nothing off it. But now that im not used to it I have worst hangover ever and am going to have to takeainkiller and go to bed!

Hello all,
Quiet here tonight.
I hope everyone is having a good evening.

I didn't do as badly as I expected of myself last night, so managed a hangover free 4 and a half mile walk this morning, as I have signed myself up for a midnight "walk to remember" in June.

Hooty "hard though, hard as hell", you and me both, matey, and lately for me , it's been really hard, because my default for every eventuality has been a glass or two bottles of wine. I can't take any credit for my stopping last night, as I think having my children home did the trick. I couldn't face waking up and feeling bad.

Up to my Mum and Dads tomorrow, my Dad has beeen diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg, that they don't seem to know how to treat, and my poor Mum has had to give him injections every day, I feel that there is a time coming when they won't be able to be on their own, which is a worry.

Anyway, best love to everyone
T xxxx

Morning Babes. Hope you're all OK?

Thurso Sorry to hear about your dad, is your mumcoping with giving him the injections? A very close relative of mine had a similar problem recently (his cancer treatment caused him to form blood clots) and he had a huge one in his neck, which we were all frantic about. He needed the injections for 3 months, and eventually his body reabsorbed the clot. At the time I was wondering why they didn't seem to be doing more, but I think it's one of those things that the wonderful body will eventually deal with, along with a bit of help from the injections. You can always ask about the possibility of the district nurses coming in to give the injections, as it must be a terrible strain on your mum (and dad).

full hope you're feeling a bit better this morning, you've probably decresed your tolerance for alcohol which is why your 'usual' amount has hit you so hard? Hope you mananged to get some sleep

By the skin of my teeth I'm on day 8. I took myself off to bed last night and watched a flim. DP was getting right on my last wick, moping around with a face like a melted welly. Definitely sulking because I wasn't uttering the magic 'let's have a drink'. I just ignored him, I almost said "Oh don't worry about me, go and get yourself some beers if you want' but decided he's a grown man and if he wants to drink, he can jolly well get on with it of his own accord.

No real boing as yet, I feel exhausted all the time (and had vivid dreams about being in pubs all night) but compared to this time last week, well I'm safe and sober, so that'll do for me.

Hi hooty and all - had a nap late afternoon then had lots of nice fizzy appley juice went to bed 11 30 slept till 11 had real nice brunch and now my boing is back!!!!!

I have come back :( God, I've got ino a bloody state again. I was dry all of january, most of lent, then I fell off. I cannot do it, i just can't. Full of depression and remorse today sfter a stupid amount last night. I have to stop properly, it's killing me. I'm sorry to have swanned off and just return expecting help. This is awful. I need to sort it out. I know I can stop but am obsessing about stopping. Rambling a bit now. sorry :(

eminemmerdale oh lovely, I can feel the fear in your post, I was exactly like you this time last week, I hopped on here in a right state. I can also identify with the obsession about stopping, I wanted a time machine to whisk me away from my drinking-self, to be far, far away from it all.

You've admitted you need to stop/cut down (whichever is for you) and understand how ill the drink makes you, which is an excellent start. Keep posting, try and keep the fluids going and if you've chance to nap or even just have a lay down, that might help you get through the next few hours.

Hi all. Been lurking but not posting. Its day 2 for me here. Was doing really well until two weeks ago. Few things sparked it all off work stress issues/stopping anti d's. Stress with the kids you know the usual triggers.. Had gradually stopped the anti d's and thought I was okay... Ha! I wish. Now im back to feeling anxious, sick, loss of appetite and worse of all the constant over/negative thinking!! I totally detest this feeling and wish it would ffeck right off. So what do I do i have a tipple instead which although initially helps it knocks me back to the ground again.
So tired of this cycle. Got appt with docs later this week and know I will ask to go back on anxiety meds. It just such a total struggle not to go out and get a lovely bottle of wine :((