Caught my husband out he has been seeing someone else.

[Inrealshock]

Name change for me as i am so devastated. Hes on a business trip at the moment but was sent random texts between her and himfor the prior 48 hours which somehow i think maybe because if icloud landed on my ipad including a naked phot of herself which she had sent him. He replied shes a 10/10 and perfect - shes a good 10 years younger than me. They were planning to meet in a restaurant and go on to a hotel room. The last year I have suffered from breast cancer and had various operations and i know that it all strted in December when i was just bck from hospital after my fourth operation. He knows I know and is getting a flight home this morning. I hardly slept last night and am holding it together for the kids. I have though in a fierce rage cut up numerous suits ties and shirts. From the conversations we have had he is blaming the cancer as having affected him. I have done my best to make him happy we do have a sex life but my body and breasts are scarred from all the operations including a mastectomy and reconstruction. I felt i had turned a corner with the cancer which was only diagnosed last July - his fling with her started in December - he assures me it was just kissing but i know they had a hotel room lined up. Sorrybfor the rambling - he gets back at luchtime - what shall i do ?

So your 'd'h is a coward and a cunt, your life will be so much nicer without him. I hope you can stay strong and please don't allow him to put any bame on you, he's a spineless cocklodger

He is a coward and a liar - no way was it 'just kissing' and how dare he blame anyone but himself?

It's interesting the slight disparity between their versions - ow, 'hmm, well, men have affairs it's no big deal...' and him - 'things weren't right between us, it's because I'm bald etc, etc. etc justification etc etc.

really the guy has no balls - and he knows this, hence the panic that other people will find out.

He needed something for himself! So you got cancer and he got a mistress. Riiiight. He really is a twat.

You are worth so much more than this. Don't forget that.

Utter wanker.
You are doing amazingly well. Stay strong. You deserve so much better than this.

Do you reckon he has gone to her to get their stories straight?

Well, as others have said he is an absolute shit. You needed him like never before, you were fighting for your life, and he betrayed you.
He lost his hair? Wtaf?! His wife lost her breast. I can't imagine how painful it is that he went off and found some perfect looking woman.
You are understandably unsure of your post-surgery body, but I just wanted to say that when I have noticed a woman's mastectomy scars what I see is a warrior. Any future man worth his salt will see the same.
And you certainly sound like a warrior.

OP I am so sorry you are in this situation. I hope you have RL support and agree with all the other posters. Sending you lots of virtual courage. You can do this!

As much as I can understand that it wasn't easy for him too while you had breast cancer I would kick him out just for using your breast cancer as an excuse to cheat. Absolutely horrible.

I can't believe he's not home yet.

Too scared to face the consequences.

He was expected home at 2pm and its now 4.10pm

WHERE IS HE?

Idiot

I would be tempted to tell him not to come back until the kids are at school tonorrow

I agree.
Kids will be home soon (if not already), soon it will be time for some food, TV and bed!

He's missed his chance for today as far as I'm concerned. He can stay in a hotel for the night and come back tomorrow morning.

What a cheating piece of shit. I'm so sorry OP.

the delay will just give you more time to put more of his stuff outside.

Or to start making copies of financial stuff.

He is obviously crapping it and has stopped somewhere while he thinks up more revolting blaming excuses.

My counsellor mentioned to me today that a relationship is only viable if the unfaithful party takes full responsibility for their actions. No matter what their motivation, or their perception of the state of their primary relationship, the decision to cheat was theirs and theirs alone.

Please do not let him put ANY blame onto you.
I really hope you have some real life support?

This is possibly one of the worst things I have ever read on relationships topic. What a massive wankshafting cunt he really is! Who the actual fuck does this to their wife, the mother of their children. Men and Women cheat which is bad enough but to do it to someone who is probably at their lowest and most vunerable and then to have the fucking gall to then say "I needed something" is just utterly vile. Yeah cos I'm sure your wife wished for cancer when she blew out the candles on her birthday cake it's only fair you should get something too.
OP- you are amazing and don't let anyone (including yourself) convince you otherwise. Urgh he's just so disgusting. Tell everyone you know what he has done, take an advert out in the local paper if you need to- he deserves everything he has coming to him. Take him to the fucking cleaners in every way you can. Dispicable.

You think you've heard everything then... Am so sorry OP, you deserve more than this, hope you have good support from rl friends.

Wow - not sure how much lower someone can go.

I have read about some awful situations on this thread but blaming infidelity on your wife's cancer descends to a level of quite incomprehensible vileness and cruelty.

It really is all about him - needs, wants, feelings, support. They top trump everything else including the health and well being of his family.

Did he think about the consequences of putting you at STI risk whilst undergoing cancer treatment?

I would much rather have scars on the outside (and I have a corker btw!) like you, than a black heart on the inside like your husband. Believe me the former is much more attractive however you may feel at the moment.

I rarely say walk away, but in this case I am really struggling to see how this situation can be salvaged. How can you ever forgive (never mind love and trust) someone who has betrayed you at a very vulnerable point in life - the time you should be strongest in your support?

OP here keep strong. I doubt he is worth 10 of you. xxx

^ very much agree.

It would be a whole different story if he was heartbroken by how hurt you were or at least accepted what he'd done & didn't voice his 'excuses'.

What a twat.
The sheer unbelievably selfish thing HE has done, yet HE is not too blame???!! What???? He can't even face you, what a complete waste of space he is.

Speechless

He's late. That's shit.

Leave some of his essentials outside & your self respect intact OP

OP, only just come across this! ... I feel sick just reading it so I can't imagine how you must be feeling!

You ARE strong enough to do this, you 100% deserve better than this! And it is all HIS fault! Do not be guilt tripped into thinking otherwise!

After everything you've been through this will be nothing, and worse your free of this utter cunt you will feel so much better!

You sound like an amazing woman so please don't worry about not finding someone else, you will, and you'll be looked After and respected and treated how you deserve to be treated!

Don't listen to his or this other sluts womans rubbish!

Get your friends round for support, we're all here to listen and help but you will need rl support also!

Sending you all the strength you need right now

This is shockingly similar to the way my parents split up. My dad moved in his ow to our house, supposedly to help with my DSis, whilst my mum was in hospital having her first chemo.
Mum finding out about the affair was horrendous at the time but in the long run we have been so much better off without him.
You have fought and won against much worse. You can overcome the hurt he has caused you.
It is entirely his fault. He is disgusting. Do what is right for you and your children. He is not your concern at all.
I realise I sound harsh but I'm just so angry on your behalf that he would put you through this after everything you have already come through.
Btw, we found Macmillan cancer support really helpful with practicalities after the split. You might want to get in contact with them.
Take care

Drama Thats seriously awful and shocking!!