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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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To be a weeny bit suspicious of DP going to work today?

403 replies

TallDwarf · 17/03/2013 11:09

DP owns his own company along with his business partner. He does sometimes work weekends but its always from home, today he has gone in to work in one of their popular city locations. It was a last minute plan that he announced on Friday. He said he needed a business meeting with his partner, but they're emailing each other every day and see each other at least once a week at work anyway so seemed a bit weird to give up a weekend day for this.

I've emailed him a couple of times this morning but not got a reply, but have had a text from him.

Am I reading too much in to nothing here? Just seems weird to go to work on a Sunday, text me but not read or reply to emails...?

OP posts:
MoodyDidIt · 17/03/2013 15:44

sorry op but it sounds a bit suss now. esp with him getting funny with you when you offered to meet him

and like lots of others said, i too am a big believer in gut instinct

good luck, and keep us posted x

Maryz · 17/03/2013 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SucksToBeMe · 17/03/2013 15:45

I hope your wrong OP and there is a reasonable excuse.
I've been in your shoes and managed to get email passwords for my brother in law before I found photos of my OH in bed with another woman. I had a gut feeling and wouldn't let it drop.

LadyPessaryPam · 17/03/2013 15:46

You can buy a tracker device that uses mobile phone technology that attaches to the underside of the car and you can trace where he actually goes. Bit extreme but it works, I know someone who did this.

Like this
www.eyetek.co.uk/car-tracker-200

AgentZigzag · 17/03/2013 15:46

That's a bit different if you've been wondering about stuff for a month.

What kinds of things?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 17/03/2013 15:47

Hmm, I wouldn't have been worried right up until you posted his reactino to you staying at the hotel. That's not good. Whatever's going on, if I was you, I'd need to find out one way or the other.

middleagedspread · 17/03/2013 15:47

Nothing to add, except he might be totally innocent. If so, try & have a lovely evening together.
I really hope this is the case.

somedayma · 17/03/2013 15:48

He'll be on high alert though, even if he thinks you're not coming. Good luck, I hope it's all innocent!

SoldAtAuction · 17/03/2013 15:49

I hope it turns out to be nothing, but I am also a strong believer in instinct too.Sad

QOD · 17/03/2013 15:49

Make sure mil doesn't tell dh she has the dc!?

HillBilly76 · 17/03/2013 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

DragonMamma · 17/03/2013 15:50

It doesn't sound great tbh, he's obviously lying about something. Let's hope it's a drinking session and not an OW.

Is the place you need to get to far from your home?

MortifiedAdams · 17/03/2013 15:52

Goodness this sounds incredibly suspicious.

I work in a hotel. There is an awful lot of flings go on. It is scary.

Go there. They wont tell you the room number, unless they are crap at their job. However they may call the room and ask if he can come down of if they can have permission to disclose the room number.

An alternative is to not visit this evening but to call the Hotel Tuesday AM claiming to be his PA and ask them to email you the invoice for expenses purposes. This works best if you have a corporate email address rather than a personal gmail/hotmail one.

MimsyBorogroves · 17/03/2013 15:53

I really hope it's nothing OP, but I would be suspicious too.

squalorvictoria · 17/03/2013 15:54

Oh dear. I always think you should trust your gut, and the whole story does sound rather dodgy. I hope it's not as bad as you think.

scratchandsniff · 17/03/2013 15:54

I can't stop thinking about this. Like someone else said it feels a bit too obvious if there was someone else involved. If that were the case I think it more likely that he would have planned an overnight stay further in advance. Surely if a man was up to something he'd have the sense to realise that arranging a last minute meeting which happens to turn in to an over nighter would make a partner suspicious.

AThingInYourLife · 17/03/2013 16:17

"Surely if a man was up to something he'd have the sense to realise that arranging a last minute meeting which happens to turn in to an over nighter would make a partner suspicious."

Text message from OW:

I need to see you NOW. Can you get away? It's important.

LindyHemming · 17/03/2013 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scratchandsniff · 17/03/2013 16:22

I'm just really hoping for the OP that It's not another woman and to be fair there's every chance it isn't. But you're right a text like that would be all it takes to make them go off at last minute.

MoodyDidIt · 17/03/2013 16:23

i hope op is wrong too :(

scaevola · 17/03/2013 16:23

Ring him now, tell him you've off loaded DCs and are really looking forward to a night off, you and him alone.

See how he reacts.

scaevola · 17/03/2013 16:24

Oops: missed some of the middle of the thread. Ignore me.

myheadwillexplode · 17/03/2013 16:27

I can't believe people are suggesting 'tracking' him. I would be furious if someone did this to me. It would be the end of the relationship even if I was completely innocent. Actually someone turning up because they didn't trust me would probably mean I'd end a relationship too.

If you've been suspicious for a month (good drip feed there) why on earth haven't you TALKED TO HIM instead of asking a group of online strangers.

Ragwort · 17/03/2013 16:28

Sorry to add to your suspicions but this happened exactly to my MIL (many years ago) - she decided to turn up unannounced and found him having a 'business meeting' with his secretary (it was in the 1970s); she actually had the guts to ask her if she was aware he had a wife and four children at home ...............

LadyBeagleEyes · 17/03/2013 16:29

If he really was meeting someone, wouldn't he try to hide his tracks better?
He really does look like he's doing something suspicious, it's almost so obvious it's possible it's entirely innocent.