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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Relationships

To be a weeny bit suspicious of DP going to work today?

403 replies

TallDwarf · 17/03/2013 11:09

DP owns his own company along with his business partner. He does sometimes work weekends but its always from home, today he has gone in to work in one of their popular city locations. It was a last minute plan that he announced on Friday. He said he needed a business meeting with his partner, but they're emailing each other every day and see each other at least once a week at work anyway so seemed a bit weird to give up a weekend day for this.

I've emailed him a couple of times this morning but not got a reply, but have had a text from him.

Am I reading too much in to nothing here? Just seems weird to go to work on a Sunday, text me but not read or reply to emails...?

OP posts:
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TheCautionaryWhale · 18/03/2013 13:33

You can post elsewhere for support if you do get this thread deleted tall
Plenty of us would like to listen Smile

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MrsCosmopilite · 18/03/2013 13:33

Sounds as though MIL is being very supporting, TD. I do hope you have some friends in RL that will have your back too.

Sorry that there are some nasty comments on here. Hopefully moving the thread will bring some people with helpful and constructive comments to the fore. Look after yourself. x

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lysteddy · 18/03/2013 13:34

Hi Tall i hope you are ok, nothing you have said sounds un truthful i hope you can get past this.

Sending you positive vibes.

Lys xxx

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GirlOutNumbered · 18/03/2013 13:55

Thanks for bothering to reply and update. Your MIL sounds brilliant. Its horrible to realise that your worst fears are true, in the long run you know that it is best that you found out, but it is so hard and hurtful to face up to it.

Stay strong, so may of us have been through it and are willing and happy to listen, should you need to chat.
Take care.

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dadofnone · 18/03/2013 14:22

LittleBairn. Genuine question. Why do Jewish women wear wigs? I'd never heard of that before.

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Mumsyblouse · 18/03/2013 14:42

Some orthodox jewish women cover their heads when they are out in public, so wear wigs or another head covering, I think it is to do with keeping their own hair private (i.e. for their husbands).

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NormaStanleyFletcher · 18/03/2013 14:52

I can understand why you might want the thread deleted. If you do, then do start another thread in relationships and take the care and support that WILL be offered by those who have been through this or similar.

So glad that your MIL sounds like a star

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LittleBairn · 18/03/2013 15:29

dad it's like the mumsy says its mostly orthodox Jewish women who wear wigs once they are married. A very small minority will also shave their heads ( usually those termed ultra orthodox) too partly because it comfortable and partly because they no longer need it to attract a man but many also wear head scarfs and hats outside the home instead of wigs. Amongst Jewish communities it really differs some feel that to wear a wig is cheating and it should be properly covered up.
They do it because it's one of their religious laws that they must cover their head once married, a women's hair is considered beautiful it's between her and her husband.

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dadofnone · 18/03/2013 15:42

littleBairn and mumsy. Thanks for that,
I'd never heard of that ritual before.

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KatieScarlett2833 · 18/03/2013 16:11

Oh love, what an out and out bastard. Please take care of yourself, you are so much better than that rancid sack of shit Hmm

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Horsemadhere · 18/03/2013 16:25

Oh dear OP have just caught up on your thread.....
You were very brave last night, well done! I would of done exactly the same in your shoes.
The trouble is if it smell like a rat, then it usually is.
I'm pleased to hear you're being looked after.
Take care xx

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noddyholder · 18/03/2013 16:29

I admire you in many ways for tackling this head on immediately rather than dragging it out and waiting for his explanation as is often the case here! You know where you stand and in one day it is done and dusted as in you know its over. Hope things work out for you.

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YouTheCat · 18/03/2013 18:15

Keep strong OP. I think you did the right thing. At least you know for certain what a turd he is now, and so does his mother.

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NotHoldenCaulfield · 18/03/2013 18:54

Tall dwarf, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. You have been incredibly
brave. It sounds like you have good RL support - I'm glad that you seem to have good people around you. You will get through this. Please ignore the unhelpful comments, you don't need the negativity. Take care.

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ChairmanWow · 18/03/2013 19:21

So sorry your worst suspicions were confirmed. It must have been devastating to see them together. What a turd he must be. Glad your MIL is supporting you, she sounds lovely. Take care and I hope all works out well for you Thanks

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sammysaidso · 18/03/2013 19:47

Didn't want to read and run
No words only hugs, hope your ok.
Xxx

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makeminearose · 18/03/2013 21:59

Omg what courage you have and well done for being so brave...sorry your oh is a lying cheating devil...you can get through this talldwar. i hope you are ok well as good as you can be considering the circumstance and the judgemental ppl previously, take care there is plenty of support here if and when you are ready love to you :-)

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rhondajean · 18/03/2013 23:09

Don't delete op, there will be much support coming your way now you are on this board and not on AIBU.

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Bluelightsandsirens · 18/03/2013 23:12

Hope those that doubted feel good about themselves and have learnt a valuable lesson.

Op so glad your MIL is supporting you and please don't feel threatens by those that no know better than to follow the guidelines.

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MusicalEndorphins · 19/03/2013 01:11

Glad your mil is so supportive, and wish you well for the future.

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LovesBeingWokenEveryNight · 19/03/2013 06:31

Hope you got some sleep op.

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belagh · 19/03/2013 07:21

Well done Tall for having the resolve to see this through. Sorry it had the out come it did.
I find that real life going tits up reads like a badly written soap, hence why I have never addressed my twunt issues on here but there are other sections of the boards where you would get less judgemental support.
Gut feelings and suspicions are from experience usually right and they make us do crazy things that are out of character. Take time now and look after yourself and ds. Pm me if you want to talk

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NotAQueef · 19/03/2013 10:24

So sorry TD. Look after yourself. If you need to talk things through - you can start a new thread, there are lots of us here who will be here to listen x

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digerd · 19/03/2013 13:57

OP
I want to say that I admired your determination to find out the truth, and it did sound very much like your suspicions to me.
About the wig and glasses, I thought again how resourceful and brave you were, and said to myself " Good for you".

Sorry it turned out as it did, but I knew it would after he turned stroppy about you wanting to meet him in his hotel in the evening.
He is a cheat and stupid with it.

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TiggerWearsATriteSmile · 21/03/2013 11:44

I read the start of this thread and just thought of you OP.
I'm sorry things turned out like they did.


Look after yourself.

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