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Dating chat thread 46

999 replies

lubeybooby · 14/03/2013 13:37

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 18/03/2013 17:19

I've sort of talked to him about her, basically what he's saying is that she's a nuisance but he feels sorry for her because she's so lonely. It's difficult to argue with that without looking like a prize cow. And of course he can see who he wants when he wants, I know that and I really don't think he thinks about her in any way other than being a friend. It's very difficult to tackle this without sounding jealous, a control freak or a bit of a bitch.

KirstyWirsty · 18/03/2013 17:25

I would go with the tack that you want to meet her OWW

lubeybooby · 18/03/2013 17:25

I don't think you sound any of those things OWW. You're just still both finding your feet within the relationship and need a bit more reassurance, that's all. No biggie, wouldn't be to me anyway if I were LM with a friend like that.

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 18/03/2013 17:45

Then she posts loads of stuff all over FB about what a lively time she's having with her "favourite people" and loads of photos with her doing stuff with LM and his boys, real happy family stuff. It's her doing this not him btw but it rankles. And hurts, tbh.

I could get quite ranty about all this.

WarmFuzzyFun · 18/03/2013 18:14

Late roar of triumph from WFF!

The nest is alive and well, the hive mind is unbeatable, don't mess with the nest!

OWW I wait before I said anything, at the moment he is a bit stressed/busy with shop, but I would make plans to join their merry happenings and surprise her.

Velvet, I think I would talk to him about the frequency after I'd had my pleasures, oil the wheels a little Wink But that might just be me, pleasure before pain...

All's well, and all manner of things continue to stroll towards being well.

MirandaWest · 18/03/2013 18:16

You don't sound jealous or a bitch to me but you need to tell LM how it's making you feel. Being with him should enhance your life not make you feel worried.

I am washing up due to the E4 error code on the dishwasher. Was doing lots of mystery shopping so no time to call letting agent today. At least no helping at brownies tonight so the evening doesn't have to have XH in it which is good.

Pomegranatenoir · 18/03/2013 18:17

oww I wouldn't like it and would talk to LM about it. Doesn't feel right for some reason - especially when you know she tried to stir things.

Can I have some viper advice too....

Mr Irish has been in touch this morning. He text saying he had lost his phone at work on sat and then found it today. Not sure if I believe him. He is showing as in what'sapp yesterday and then he was online last night at same time as me and didn't message. Admittedly I was only in there to see if he was.

What should I do? I think I want to meet him again because I'm not sure if I am letting my trust issues affect my future but then I really don't know if he is trustworthy or not! Please advise me. Feel like I have lost all of my judgement!!

KirstyWirsty · 18/03/2013 18:29

Pom can whatsapp be used on a tablet or laptop ? I know tango can ...

KirstyWirsty · 18/03/2013 18:30

Just checked and you can so maybe he can connect without his phone?

lubeybooby · 18/03/2013 18:33

Pom I use whatsapp on my pc

I had to download an android imitator though to be able to do it. I expect some tablets may already have the android doodah on them so maybe it's that?

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 18/03/2013 18:41

Western the thing is if he was spending ALL his free time with you, then yes you probably would seem like a jealous harpy. BUT you don't see much of him (for one reason and another) as it is, therefore he should realise its a bit of a kick in the teeth when he goes off and spends time with her. So yes definitely speak to him about it. And also arrange to do something together when she visits.

Pom werent you having second thoughts re Mr Irish anyway though? The phone thing sounds as though it mightnt be 100% true, esp if he was showing as on whatsapp (and if he could get on there from his laptop or whatever then why not message you?)...you could give him another chance of course, and see what happens, but if you're not that sure anyway, maybe its not worth it?

Can I just have a very quick (and ridiculously narcissistic and self indulgent) whinge? I apologise in advance!

Now of course this doesn't actually matter because I would far rather have C although whether that will happen is anyones guess BUT why is it that various blokes I've been interested in over the last year or so, all of whom binned me off in one way or another, are now in relationships with women who are honestly (and I promise I'm not overly flattering myself here, ) nowhere near as attractive as me?! I always assumed I wasn't quite pretty enough for any of them, clearly that wasn't it at all! was obviously my terrible personality instead

WarmFuzzyFun · 18/03/2013 18:58

Because they are absolutely barking mad, Velvet, and they were intimidated by you, because they are inadequates, that's why.

JulietteMontague · 18/03/2013 19:04

OWW you have never come across as the jealous type at all, and I would be pissed off because the time he is available for you is limited and here she is, all bright and breezy with arrangements in her head and on fb which would driveme nuts. Do you really want to meet her? if you do meet her, you have to do it so that you and LM are the team, united front and meet her having just got out of bed together. Take no prisoners, an air of pity might be good and if its at LM's house, you being totally at home there and so on.

JulietteMontague · 18/03/2013 19:16

Bant I would just talk to her, she will probably appreciate you being upfront. You can always make it clear that it's all about being in her company and enjoying things together so you'd be very happy to get shown some local sites and so on not the inside of her apartment with her cooking.

Pom that ball is totally in your court but you didn't sound that keen before and that wasn't to do with feeling insecure but how he is and the way he behaved.

I have a date with gsm software man on Tuesday evening. He'd better liven up on the actual date, I think he might wear a tank top. Gsm2 has suggested Saturday pm but I'm tempted to ask if he's interested or not because he is either putting on an act, scared or being too 'releaxed'. VM is back from his travels and has been in touch so we'll see.

Pomegranatenoir · 18/03/2013 19:20

He is calling me in half an hour....

What do I say??

OhWesternWind · 18/03/2013 19:21

Velvet you are far too good for them and just way, way out of their league. You rock, they don't.

Pom nothing to lose by meeting him. But there were a few things you weren't happy about when you posted the other day. Maybe see how it goes, but have your eyes wide open here?

I'm not going to say anything at the moment, will wait til I see him. Hmm not sure I do want to meet her, I just know she's going to irritate the shit out of me, but it's the only realistic way forward I think. Will need a bit of psyching myself up! Think I'll ring him in an hour or so when children are in bed and have a chat. Going to see how things go with meeting up after this week - if still unsatisfactory, I will just say something but I hope it will sort itself out. I hate the feeling that I'm doing too much of the running, won't go down that road again.

OhWesternWind · 18/03/2013 19:24

Juliette wow well it's all hotting up for you! Tuesday as in tomorrow?

Pom have you decided if you want to see him again?

Bant · 18/03/2013 19:24

Pom - let him do the talking. He's the one who did a disappearing act. Other than that, ask how his weekend was and tell him how you were doing fantastically interesting stuff cos you're so fantastically interesting

Bant · 18/03/2013 19:25

although the 'I couldn't call you over the weekend because I lost my phone my wife would overhear' is a bit odd

JulietteMontague · 18/03/2013 19:27

OWW when I said take no prisoners, I mean don't fall for the 'having a bad time' thing and view her as the enemy who must be eliminated. Whilst being wonderful at the same time of course Grin

Pomegranatenoir · 18/03/2013 19:34

Babt - he defo isn't married!! We have seen each other at all different times of day. He lost it at work in sat ten someone brought it back in today. Will defo let him do the talking though.

Stressssss. Would like to meet him again but don't want to be a doormat. What is dating site etiquette. We were 5 dates in, making plans for
Next few weeks and done the bedroom thing?? Am
I right to be pissed he was still online??

Bant · 18/03/2013 19:43

Pom - there isn't one hard and fast rule. I think it's good to respect each other, although that generally isn't the case, but as so many people (men and women) play the field and can just disappear, then it's only to be expected people are still checking the site, dating other people, until you've had a talk about exclusivity. It's the same as real life dating except you can see when they're online...

JulietteMontague · 18/03/2013 19:47

Pom I would be pissed of yes, but maybe that's just me. A lot of people do stay around online for a while though. You have nothing to loose, meet up with him if you want to, take a long cool look at how he behaves with you then you can always decide what to do another time.

VelvetSpoon · 18/03/2013 19:54

I don't get how I intimidate men, but it's not the first time I've been told that. It's weird because I am such a mass of overthinking insecurities most of the time :) Anyway it is very definitely their loss. And hopefully C's gain. Although I think I intimidate him a bit too...

Western I think waiting till you see LM to discuss it is good, and you do need to meet her, she will irritate the hell out of you I'm sure BUT I think it may well put her in her place a bit, which will certainly be no bad thing.

Pom I think Juliette's advice is great.

Flipper924 · 18/03/2013 20:20

Well done, lovely vipers, I'm very proud of you all, and especially Lubey.

OWW, I agree that you should suggest all meeting up. You can easily do that under the guise of feeling sorry for her and wanting to befriend her properly yourself. If she doesn't have designs on LM, she will be keen on this.

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