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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating chat thread 46

999 replies

lubeybooby · 14/03/2013 13:37

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

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lubeybooby · 17/03/2013 22:08

ARRST?

I just can't even...

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Pomegranatenoir · 17/03/2013 22:14

kirsty mr cheeky never sounded quite right. He was a distraction but think issues arise when the distraction proves to be more of a problem than fun.

It is sad being on your own at times. I expect you are coming down from the mighty high of new home, NYC, dd birthday. Tomorrow is another day and you will wake up feeling positive. But I know it is crap. And it is hard at times to pick yourself up. But that is what we do, because we are amazing and resilient. You don't need mr cheeky bringing you down. You really don't!!

OhWesternWind · 17/03/2013 22:17

Sorry you are feeling so low Kirsty. You did what was right for you about Mr Cheeky but it will still hurt and you're bound to be thinking about him. It's very early days at the moment still. I think you're doing the right thing keeping busy. Tomorrow will be a better day.

JulietteMontague · 17/03/2013 22:19

He messaged me, it is clear on my profile that we wouldn't be suited and he is not a looker either. At some point, stupid just doesn't know it is.

JulietteMontague · 17/03/2013 22:21

Kirsty sorry to hear you are feeling it tonight, it will pass, meanwhile there is crap tv and the fridge.

Bant · 17/03/2013 22:22

and soooo much crap tv...

KirstyWirsty · 17/03/2013 22:23

*pom^ I know I don't need him ..I have had several 'entitled loser' type texts from him since last week .. I am ignoring now .. We used to be in constant contact so there is a bit of a gap now .. I will get over it .. I will not contact him .. My gut instinct when I started seeing him in sept was avoid avoid and yet I kept seeing him

OhWesternWind · 17/03/2013 22:23

You as well Pom - sorry I missed your post, reading the thread backwards isn't a clever idea. Realising that things aren't right and then doing something about it is the opposite of needy! You should be feeling really proud of yourself for getting out of something that wasn't working - its not always the easiest thing to do. It sounds like your life's going really well, plenty of stuff going on, so maybe just keeping busy, seeing friends, working, making sure you have a full life without a man is the way to go. It all sounds so positive for you at the moment.

JulietteMontague · 17/03/2013 22:27

Oops Pom only you know if you feel needy but Mr Irish didn't come up to scratch and you have stopped it so I'd say you're on your way Smile

Pomegranatenoir · 17/03/2013 22:31

oww thank you! It is positive for me at the mo but feel like I am never that far away from it all going wrong. And all the positives in my life come with a major catch but I suppose that is just the way things are. I am getting stronger every day but know its not an overnight thing. Healing is a slow process but I know I will get there!!

kirsty it's that gap that is difficult to manage! You need to be busy. Full your diary with fun stuff. Make your life sooooooo filled with fun stuff that you will forget mr cheeky ever existed let alone occupied space in your life.

lubeybooby · 17/03/2013 22:32

Kirsty you definitely did the right thing. I'm sure you'll feel better soon, hang on in there :)

No further reply although he was online for quite a while... hmm.

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Pomegranatenoir · 17/03/2013 22:38

I know that I am needy but think that comes from being in a relationship with someone since I was 16. I've never really done the being in my own thing. That is changing though. I have truly amazing friends and have had brilliant night out with them recently. Had some awful hangovers too!! I need to focus on the good stuff not the bad.

No one ever said that life would be easy, did they...?

lubeybooby · 17/03/2013 22:41

great advice from oww there pomegranate... you're really doing well and you're gonna be fine.

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KirstyWirsty · 17/03/2013 22:41

pom no they didn't but good friends make it all worthwhile

VelvetSpoon · 17/03/2013 22:50

Lubey do you think no more replies means that (hopefully) he realises he's behaved like a dick and is now going to pay what he owes?

I really REALLY hope that's the case. Fingers crossed.

lubeybooby · 17/03/2013 22:52

I'd like to hope so velvet but I do doubt it. I think there's more whingeing to come... he didn't take well to being beaten irrefutably before did he and still tried to twist things...

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JulietteMontague · 17/03/2013 23:00

Lubey I hope he thinks about it and tomorrow decides to do you the 'favour' to shut you up or something Hmm

VelvetSpoon · 17/03/2013 23:04

Its probably too much to hope he will be guilted by his conscience...although as Juliette says he might pay up in the sense of a 'favour' and with very bad grace.

If he doesn't then we will unleash the forces of the small claims court (or the threat of it at least) on him...

lubeybooby · 17/03/2013 23:18

He's obviously feeling some guilt to have felt the effect of a guilt trip... if i wasn't right that wouldn't have even occurred to him. Whether it will have enough effect or not... who knows. we'll see what he says tomorrow, guessing there won't be anything til evening tomorrow now, if anything at all.

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VelvetSpoon · 17/03/2013 23:27

I hope he agrees to pay, even if its begrudgingly. It would be nice if he could come back and apologise but I doubt that will happen!

Let's hope tomorrow brings better news.

I've been having a think about stuff today and I'm getting close to the end of my patience with C. I haven't heard from him about this Friday, which may well mean I'm not seeing him. If that's the case I suspect I will end up being more than a little terse in my response. I'd rather speak to him face to face, but at this rate who knows when that will be.

KirstyWirsty · 17/03/2013 23:28

lubey he is a cowardly weasel .. The threat of small claims court will have him coughing up .. I am 100% certain of this!!

lubeybooby · 18/03/2013 02:18

Grrrr. Can't sleep... I'm wound up. It's always injustice that winds me up the most and keeps me awake!

Biggest annoying thought at the moment is that if he had an issue with the amount then he could have and should have said so at the goddamn time when I could have attempted to make other arrangements or wait for NHS, not when it's already done and I've budgeted accordingly, by the skin of my teeth. And that going along with it just to make sure I danced to his tune is lower than Jeremy Kyle guest behaviour.

I intend to politely and Britishly crush him, as only a polite British woman can do.

Velvet - I really don't blame you for your patience with C wearing thin, he really is getting silly again now. I am concerned too that you really don't seem any happier or more fulfilled than when you were actively looking on PoF, which says a lot about how much he enriches your life... namely not at all, but yet despite clearly giving off different vibes and attracting many men, you're not interested in any of them because of that knob C. It's like the very WORST of both worlds for you at the moment, and that's not fair.

You deserve vastly more, and I really hope C can sort his life out a bit and give you more - he only stands to gain from it too, so it's really not a big thing to ask of him.

I would make a special case here and text I think and ask to meet just for a coffee or drink (if he can't do an overnighter) and have a talk about this. Then if he really can't get a grip, more contact, trip to the pub on a weeknight sometimes, meeting a bit more regularly, generally not keeping you as a puppet on a string... time to say bye bye and be held back by him no longer.

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lubeybooby · 18/03/2013 02:20

too many reallys in the above Shock man I'm tired. No chance at all of sleep though when I'm in fired up wound up mode.

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MirandaWest · 18/03/2013 07:25

Hope you managed to get some sleep lubey.

I am not feeling inspired to get out of bed which is nice and warm. There was silly snow here yesterday afternoon covering cars and roads in about an hour and hoping its all gone now. Doesn't help getting emails with pictures of stunning California coastlines from Mr Nice and hearing how they've been driving with the roof down Grin.

lubeybooby · 18/03/2013 07:34

Yeah, about 1.5 hours ughhh. Oh well, still better than nothing :o

No snow here but it's bloody bastard cold. bbrrr

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