Dating thread no 45

[JulietteMontague]

Online and real life dating chat, all welcome

First of all I find it very sad that such abuse takes place in relationships.But you have been very strong to have escaped from it.

Regarding CJ,one of the reasons that I think she does only want friendship is that she moved here from Oz a few months ago and does not really have many friends here.

Kirsty, it was PoF! God help you if you think Glasgow was full of spuds... you should see the terrible state of it round my way!

There were still duds and spuds of course but vastly vastly fewer than here. And even most of the spuds were at least still polite...

Oops indeed.

Am presuming you mean here? What is giving you this feeling?

I could open a branch of Spud U Like. Eh Snape? How come?

Sent screen shot of something, neglected to notice window with 'MN dating thread 45' on other tab.

Am idiot.

But very flattering and obviously smitten idiot.

Morning.

Feeling better. Have decided unless what will be will be. Time to grow.

Sorry for my maudlin posts...

I am going to make an effort to keep up with this thread. And drink less wine (Ike, I want to know which eye cream specifically please?)

Sainsbury's have these bonbons in a jar which are perfect, soft tasty and chewy...need to cut them out, or buy Spandex.

Oh he wont notice? Gulp.

He might not notice Snape, depends how observant he is. At least it's al been good what you've said.

Still can't type, Have decided useless to worry,

I am usung Sactuary Spa WFF, I reckon the gym has helped too and ahem cutting out the mid week tipples...

Hopefully he won't search, too busy looking at you Snape

WFF - I think that's the worst thing about dating, very often. The worry we put ourselves through. What if he doesn't like X about me? What if I don't like Y about him? What if it's really physical to start with and fades away? What if they work unsocial hours or live further away than I'd like? What if they like me more than I like them and it doesn't work out?

Some people seem to be able to really breeze through dating without any of this and I think it tends to be those who get plenty of interest/opportunity and date quite a lot. Those who don't I think are the ones who get more fraught.

Could be wrong though, what do I know?

I can switch from alcohol to cups of tea, I exercise 5-6 times a week Ike.

Maybe I need more sex as a kind of lymphatic drainage system.

You may have a point Voice, I think I need to 'losen up' in terms of dating, in regards travelling further afield.

I find though if I don't like the picture I just can't be bothered to go any further.

WFF - I've always felt distance wasn't for me, but I've been rethinking that very recently. Might miss out on a very good thing. I guess it's trying to condition your brain to forget about it, go with the flow, and actually say that, at least in the early stages, it is the same as any other series of dates - finding out about someone, what you have in common, what you like about someone. Anything could happen.

Just as it could with someone who lives down the road. Unless you try and give it a go, you don't know. But then part of your brain still nags at you a bit that, for some reason, because of the distance it's a bigger deal. You somehow want to try harder to make it work. Then the whole balance between spontaneity and having to plan a lot. Not seeing someone as much as you might like and can it really develop? Awkward working hours?

Bloody minefield, innit! I was talking to someone the other day and said "there are times you look back on your late teens and realise that back then you almost never gave a thought to 'the future' or whether it was going work long term - you just fancied someone and saw what happened; the older you get the more barriers and overthinking you can get into"

Going to have really irrational moan but was hoping to wake up to email from Mr Nice and there was none. Humpf. And now he'll be asleep. Thunk it's because we do normally have lots of texts and emails and its a bit weird not.

Going to have a run after children taken to school. 4 miles or maybe even 5 (daring). Drank some wine last night and have feelings of slight dehydration. Should not drink wine on school night.

Velvet hope you're doing ok this morning

Morning all!

Snape - eek! Did it definitely say mumsnet? My tab just says dating thread 45 (full thread) and it has the MN logo but teeny tiny.

Re; distance I've never had a problem with it, but then I love my space so having all week to myself and then weekends with someone is fine by me. Me and BC managed stuff in the week sometimes too with some re-arranging of work and clever jiggerypokery.

Even with my exh we had a sort of LDR for 3.5 years. I'm used to it I suppose, and don't mind a bit of travel even though I don't drive. I like trains and cabs! :o

No a bit of distance wouldnt bother me either....but that is because I would be happy with a pt situation because of the kids.

How far is too far though? I usually limit myself to 1 hour in the car, as that is a 2 hour round trip. And there is the cost of fuel to take into account.

But I will try. There is a chap who lives about an hour and 20mins away from me who has been keen to meet up since I started on POF. So maybe I will reconsider.

Snape, I really hope that he doesn't notice, it would be a real shame if you have to curtail your posts and don't have this thread as a 'safe' place to express yourself

he's mentioned it...so he's def seen it...if one googles 'dating thread 45' you pretty much end up here...all depends how inquisitive one is. by way of mitigation, i view 'you lot' as my mates, so of course i'm going to discuss how glourious he is and how I am when he's around. some of that might destroy any teaspoon of allure i hold & some of it might be a bit too soon and a bit 'eeeek!' but as far as i can see i have proceeded with all due caution, with an occasional wobble and hopefully have nothing to worry about, i have nothing to hide.

but let us never speak of dating thread 32. & as for dating thread 17

I'm off the sofa really but when I was OD I thought an hour was enough, because I used to an hour's commute every day to work and then back, to two hour round trip, and that became a pain in the arse. But now thinking if I got back on the sofa I'd look at two hours. Think that might be doable. It's a question of whether that's really sustainable. For the other person, not just yourself. When you factor in kid-free weekends, how often can you realistically give each other - what's enough for one may not be enough for the other?

Presumably the more open and honest you are up front the better?

Did anything actually happen in those or are you laying a plot?