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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 45

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 08/03/2013 21:59

Online and real life dating chat, all welcome

OP posts:
ike1 · 12/03/2013 23:16

Oh ffs Castro whichever interpretation.. the man is a grade A cowardly shite!

lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:17

oh how awful Castro, what an idiot he is.

lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:17

jan... we're only pulling your leg don't worry :o

OhWesternWind · 12/03/2013 23:18

Juliette horrible times. And being let down by your family is just a killer. My ex hit me in front of my mum once and she did nothing, said nothing, never ever mentioned it, just wanted to pretend it had never happened and we all carried on as normal. I think if she'd done anything, anything at all, I'd have left him then but her lack of reaction just made what he said seem right, I was just making a stupid fuss over nothing. Will never forget, bet you don't either Sad

ike1 · 12/03/2013 23:18

Yeah Jan unless you out with it, our drrrrrrty minds will always jump to the filthiest conclusions....

janflan · 12/03/2013 23:19

That does sound tough Juliette.

That sounds dodgy Castro, bloody rude too!

Winefiend · 12/03/2013 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CastroIsDead · 12/03/2013 23:19

yes i know. was so excited aswel. was only ever going to be a fling but just what i wanted right now. i think maybe he just doesn't like me but even if he has a girlfriend he said he feels bad and he doesn't want to cheat on her. i told him he already has by telling me he's single taking me out and kissing me. i feel so stupid

ike1 · 12/03/2013 23:20

Still havent messaged back Mr Calm down... I hate that sort of shit (along with, spec removal, lip biting and thigh sucking)

lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:20

Juliette and OWW... horrible :(

One of the reasons I distance myself from my mum now is how she belitties the domestic violence my nan suffered... says she used to provoke him... I will never forgive her

lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:21

him being my late grandad. arsehole.

ike1 · 12/03/2013 23:24

Oh Lord, some women....Lubes

ike1 · 12/03/2013 23:26

Thing is Castro, you just don't know what is going on in the minds of some of these idiots...inevitably its gonna make you feel like crap..but seriously dont waste too much time on it ...please.

lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:31

Don't feel stupid Castro, he hid it on purpose. Nasty of him.

lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:32

and ike yeah I know. My mum even said that to me once when i was a child and I knew it was wrong even then.

CastroIsDead · 12/03/2013 23:33

thanks ike. no i won't. just not a very good start to getting back out there after my ex. he will be gone in a few days i will never have to look at his very gorgeous stupid face again. wil put it down to experience but i don't want to end up not being able to trust people. i trusted him when he said he was single. why wouldn't i?

VelvetSpoon · 12/03/2013 23:36

I think I will have to go down the sleepeaze route tomorrow despite my innate fear of anything that 'makes' me sleep, because this is getting silly.

Juliette and Western how awful for you that your mums were no support at such a horrendous time, and Lubey thats so sad too.

My dad had the worst temper in the world, but was never violent, and never could have been, certainly not to a woman. On my mums side, my great uncle was known to slap his wife after a few drinks (in the way that was semi-acceptable in the postwar era) but my nanna refused to have him in the house because of it, and my mum and aunties never ever spoke to him.

I know both my parents would have been appalled at some of the shit the Evil Ex put me through, I am glad they were not here to know about it, because I know how upset it would have made them to know someone had treated me like that.

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 12/03/2013 23:38

Castro you are not stupid, this is nothing whatsoever to do with you. He is a total Arse, some people just are. Do not blame yourself for not seeing it, we've all been caught out with someone. He did this, not you.

OWW that's awful, no I have never forgotten. I knew it before I came back, everyone said 'your parents will be there for you, trust them'. I knew. It's classic, and I've only realised the pattern since being on MN. And no, I have never forgotten that or other things and it was a long time ago.

Ike quite.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 12/03/2013 23:41

Velvet they are great honest. Just really help you drop off. You won't be totally knocked out, they just help

VelvetSpoon · 12/03/2013 23:42

Castro sorry, not a nice thing to happen. I suspect that he probably wasn't single all along, thought he could go through with it and then had an attack of conscience, or else thought somehow you were going to find out about it anyway. Unfortunately people often aren't what they seem - it is invariably the case with people you meet OD, but can be with the ones you meet in RL too.

VelvetSpoon · 12/03/2013 23:46

Lubey, I know, I just have a weird fear about stuff that makes me sleep, not just tablets, even relaxation tape thingys. But I have to do something. I've had about 6 hours sleep in total the last 2 nights, and tonight isn't looking great...desperate measures are called for!

janflan · 12/03/2013 23:51

It's horrible not being able to sleep Velvet. I suffer from it when i'm really stressed, the rest of the time I can fall asleep in minutes. Have you tried sleeping on the sofa watching Tv? That always sends me to sleep.

ike1 · 12/03/2013 23:51

I let my doc have a look at them Velv...non addictive..mainly anthistermin based I think

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 12/03/2013 23:52

Velvet good for your Nanna, people often say 'it's that generation' but clearly that is just minimising and women like your Nanna just prove that.

Lubey that shows how much more kids know. When I was a kid my friends Mum hit her so hard she had to go to hospital. She said my friend made her do it, but she did it in front of me and us kids knew she was wrong. The mother still maintains that's how it happened.

OP posts:
WarmFuzzyFun · 12/03/2013 23:56

Hey folks, have caught up at last.

OWW glad things are going well.

Velvet, I know that it seems like a long time but just think of how wonderful to be where you are, you have a man you like who likes you, and you have moved on from the one date no second date problem. It isn't so bad is it?Smile

Juliette, WOW, you've had some tough times. It really hurts when family care more about keeping up appearances rather than actually caring about you Sad

Castro Sad sorry it's not you, it is him.

Snape, girl you make me go green EnvySmile I am so happy for you, a couple huh? Envy

I am feeling despondent about OD. The guys I like intellectually I don't fancy physically, no spark.

I am planning to meet a nice guy from POF, this weekend (if he is not seeing his kids) who intellectually has me firing on ALL cylinders, but all his pictures are closed mouthed. (I like the look of him.) He has tetracycline staining (www.thisisdentistry.co.uk/dental-problems/tetracycline-staining/) so is a bit self conscious and doesn't smile in photos normally. But he is/seems to be nice. I feel a bit torn. We have said that we are meeting as friends to not make the situation too intense. But the whole thing has left me feeling rubbish.

We all have physical imperfections, I have a couple, one I consider major. I do have a thing about teeth. If am worried/sad that when I meet him, that I won't be able to accept him?Sad

I am miserable....SadSadSad

Would appreciate a little hand holding please.

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