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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I accidentally found out my DP is going to propose...and i dont like the ring

87 replies

enormouse · 07/03/2013 19:08

Ok so tonight myself, DS and DP are watching in the night garden. DS is toddling about playing with DPs kindle and he manages to use it to open Amazon to show me that my other half has an engagement ring in the basket. I may have gone a slightly strange colour but naturally DP didn't even notice (I'm assuming he was too busy watching makka pakka). Unfortunately, it's not a particularly nice ring.

I'm not hankering for a really expensive ring but I had hoped that he would make it to a jewellers (there's actually a jewellery workshop in the village, who have known his family for years) or find something a little more special than Amazon. I don't have anything against Amazon either it's just I don't want my engagement ring coming from the place I order textbooks from. He also has a tendency to buy everything from Amazon no matter what the occasion. (birthday/Christmas/mothers day/fathers day). I had hoped something as special as an engagement ring would be the exception but clearly not.

We're planning our first holiday away together without DS at the end of this month (24th) so I'm fairly certain he'll be planning to pop the question then. I can't steer him towards a ring I would like or drop hints without revealing I know what he's up to. So basically I have a month or so to stew. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Xx

OP posts:
WeAreEternal · 07/03/2013 19:11

Go onto his amazon, delete the awful ring from his basket, replace it with a few lovely rings. This is EXACTLY what I would do!

Anniegetyourgun · 07/03/2013 19:12

Be humbly grateful he's at least buying one especially for you, instead of recycling one he happened to have lying around.

Sorry, that wasn't very helpful.

enormouse · 07/03/2013 19:13

Hahaha. Forgot to mention he had a few DVD box sets in there at the same time!

OP posts:
SPsFanjoTheBigStickyHaribo · 07/03/2013 19:13

Id start talking about my friend/cousin/neighbour/ex teacher who has just been engaged and has the most gorgeous ring. I would then describe the ring I wanted in so much detail Grin

kinkyfuckery · 07/03/2013 19:15

Cheer up OP, he might be buying it for someone else Wink

ajandjjmum · 07/03/2013 19:15

You need to tell him about a friend whose thoughtless DP actually bought their engagement ring from Amazon. How sad, after all, isn't it one of those occasions when you go to a jeweller a choose together?? Grin

Katisha · 07/03/2013 19:15

Well if he hasn't pressed "order" yet you have time. Can you say casually that you saw so and so from the jewellery workshop today and you'd really like them to design something for you one day?

andadietcoke · 07/03/2013 19:17

My engagement ring came from Makro. The difference is that I love it. If you didn't know it was from Amazon would it make a difference?

Bogeyface · 07/03/2013 19:17

At least admit that you were snooping in his basket, dont blame your toddler!

enormouse · 07/03/2013 19:18

kinky they'd be welcome to him and that ring in that case Wink.

OP posts:
AllBellyandBoobs · 07/03/2013 19:18

See, I'll never understand this. The important part of this scenario is that he has decided he wants to marry you and is planning on asking you to spend your life with him. Do you really care about the ring that much?

I'll state now that i don't wear jewellery except my wedding ring and don't have an engagement ring so i might be best just shutting up :)

Catsu · 07/03/2013 19:18

Confide in a friend and get her to phone you while dp is in the room. Your end of the conversation can be 'oh tell your sister congratulations from me, how lovely! Can't believe her ring is from Argos though when there's that lovely workshop just down the road!!' (Swap Argos for amazon so dp doesn't get suspicios ;-)

enormouse · 07/03/2013 19:22

It is the fact I know where it's fromandadietcoke, you're right. It makes me sound terrible but I wanted a little more thought than "I can get boardwalk empire, the sopranos and a special ring for the Mrs"

OP posts:
dolallymum · 07/03/2013 19:22

I would do similar to weareeternal and delete the ring from his basket and replace it with one I like.

ike1 · 07/03/2013 19:23

I would say ...if we ever got engaged I would like to choose my own ring...personally I think engagement rings are a waste of time and money ...

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected · 07/03/2013 19:23

If you do anything at all at the moment, you are going to completely ruin the surprise. I would keep quiet, wait and enjoy the proposal, and then kindly say something afterwards. A lot of guys wouldn't be offended as they already know that they are pretty lost when it comes to women's tastes/style.

kinkyfuckery · 07/03/2013 19:25

Do you have any existing rings? Could you maybe say that you're needing to have a ring resized so will pop into the jewellers and get measured properly as you have really funny sized fingers?

CuriousMama · 07/03/2013 19:27

I told dp I didn't want a ring. I never wore the big diamond exdh bought either. But then I found a cheap one on Ebay that I liked and ordered it, it's on it's way. Only cost £6 Grin Of course it'll drop to bits but I'll have stopped wearing it by then.

Yes delete ring and just tell him. Sounds ill thought out tbh?

enormouse · 07/03/2013 19:28

I think youre right keepcool. The most important thing is that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and the wee one. I'll sit back and enjoy whatever surprise he has planned and try not to give anything away. Maybe suggest something more tasteful at a later, more tactful date.

Thanks everyone for the replies. Xx

OP posts:
enormouse · 07/03/2013 19:33

Though it is quite tempting to delete that awful thing.
Must resist.

Wine
OP posts:
deste · 07/03/2013 19:41

I would delete it.

AntsMarching · 07/03/2013 20:11

I wouldn't say anything until after he proposed as you don't want to ruin the surprise. But, I told my now DH that I didn't like the ring about three weeks after he proposed. I figured I'd have that ring and husband for the rest of my life so thought I'd start off with honesty.

MushroomSoup · 07/03/2013 20:23

I would just happen to come across a beautiful ring on an Internet browse and say 'look at this! Isn't it beautiful?!' And thrust it in his face. And hope he gets the hint.

Isityouorme · 07/03/2013 20:24

Delete it!

mellen · 07/03/2013 21:04

Can you blame your DS further - give it back to DS open on amazon, then take it off him and say 'ha ha DS look what you have done, you have been messing about on amazon and added some really hideous ring to the basket ha ha do you think DH would like that with his DVD's' Delete ring, job done